Robert Name Puns

My wife told me,

"Richard Roberts? That's a mouthful!"

I told her,

"Not as much as Dick"

Dad; Oh Robert, He's the one that drowns when it rains right?

Exact Lee.

"Hi. My name is Robert if you need anything."
"Great. What's your name if we don't need anything?"

Robert: "Would you like more soda, sir?"
Dad: "Yes. Please."
Robert takes the glass and walks away to refill it.
Dad: "That's less soda, not more!"

Me: "Let's get more [tortilla] chips."
Dad smashes the last chip into hundreds of pieces. "There. More chips."

Edit: When the lights in the restaurant are dimmed.
Dad: Uh oh! Prices just went up!
(Who ordered the ambiance?)

Glad to help, but I'm pretty certain we named you Robert. I'll check with your mom, though.

The dad looks at his son and says, "No, you can't have a new name, Robert."