There's a local realtor whose name is Richard Roberts...

My wife told me,

"Richard Roberts? That's a mouthful!"

I told her,

"Not as much as Dick"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poot_scooter
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2017
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I was saying something about an old friend of mine named Robert, who has an underbite

Dad; Oh Robert, He's the one that drowns when it rains right?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benbacon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
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What do you call an Asian man who always has correct change?

Exact Lee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorFog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
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We also went to restaurants

"Hi. My name is Robert if you need anything."
"Great. What's your name if we don't need anything?"

Robert: "Would you like more soda, sir?"
Dad: "Yes. Please."
Robert takes the glass and walks away to refill it.
Dad: "That's less soda, not more!"

Me: "Let's get more [tortilla] chips."
Dad smashes the last chip into hundreds of pieces. "There. More chips."

Edit: When the lights in the restaurant are dimmed.
Dad: Uh oh! Prices just went up!
(Who ordered the ambiance?)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/damitws6
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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Dad, can you help me with this math problem? I'm stuck.

Glad to help, but I'm pretty certain we named you Robert. I'll check with your mom, though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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A kid asks his dad if he is in trouble.

The dad looks at his son and says, "No, you can't have a new name, Robert."

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πŸ“…︎ May 11 2016
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