What's a word that doesn't rhyme with itself?

Football, chocolate... I dunno, lots of things don't rhyme with "itself".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UristMasterRace
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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Did you know there is a word that rhymes with orange?

What rhymes with orange?

No it doesn't.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoMoma2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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I was asked to find a word that rhymes with Kathmandu.

After a lot of effort, I answered, "Nocandu."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninety-five95
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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My son asked me if I knew a two-letter word that rhymed with "Bordeaux".

I guess so.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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My wife said, "Nothing rhymes with orange"

I said no

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyesboyee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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A friend asked me," What rhymes with orange?"

I said," No, it doesn't."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteDeath1404
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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I said to my dad 'What rhymes with orange?'

He said, no it doesn't.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GladstoneBrookes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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4yo asks: What if I really was an ant?

During dinner, I compared how Son #2 [4yo] was eating his spaghetti to an anteater. This sparked the following conversation.

Son #2: "What if I really was an ant?"

Son #1 [7yo]: "Then you wouldn't really eat very much spaghetti. Ants eat just a little because they're so small."

Me: "Well, did you know it's pretty likely that, eventually, your sister will grow up to be an aunt?"

Daughter [5yo]: "What?"

Me: "Yeah, all it'll take is for one of you boys to have a kid. Then, she'll turn into an aunt."

[Kids look confused. Son #1 has worked out the pun, is rolling eyes.]

Wife: "He's right. We helped do it to Auntie Leah."

[It clicks.]

Daughter: "Oooooh, Daaad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaosTechnician
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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The best dad jokes are unplanned

My family and I were in the car driving down the road the other day. My 5 year old asked for words that rhymed with blue.

β€œWell, there’s glue, two, moo, snoo, zoo, boo..”

My 8 year old chimes in, β€œDaddy, what’s snoo?”

My immediate response? β€œNot much, what’s new with you?”

My journey to the dark side has been complete.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drako1117
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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My boyfriend is gonna be a great dad one day.

I saw him picking up a quarter off the floor.

I said to him, "Is that where you keep all your quarters? That makes a lot of sense."

He says, "Yeah, 25 cents." then laughed for 5 minutes to himself, then kept laughing about it sporadically throughout the day.

Edit: I just wanna say thanks to my s/o /u/rainbowdongs for being so hilarious. <3 Happy anniversary! Love you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cruelhag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
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Timbuktu

This has long been one of my favorite jokes. I'd credit the original writer if I could:

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was literature student from Harvard. The other finalist was a lineman from Alabama. They each would have one minute to compose a poem rhyming the word "Timbuktu."

They drew straws, and Princeton student was to go first. He sat and thought for a few seconds, then spoke into the microphone: "Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination -- Timbuktu.”

The crowd went wild, certain the Alabama kid was done for. The clock started, and he just stared at the crowd. Then, when everyone thought he was finished, out of nowhere he said:

β€œTim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three girls in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qbedo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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My dad just owned me in a facebook message rap battle.

First of all, yes my family have rap battles over facebook, we are that white. It's been a fun rap battle of sorts, and my dad just threw down then well... Here is the conversation:


Father: Parental rap battle, game over with this one...

Father: You say we are weak

that our rhymes are the worst

Just remember my lad that we were here first

Rap didn't begin right now with your gang

It started with ours and came out with a bang

That we can't rap - on Twitter you say

o what a betrayal, Et tu, Brute

Oh no, oh snap, did that happen here

Dad threw down some latin from Will Shakespeare

I'm done with this battle and now I'll decree

Just remember my apple you fell from this tree

Me: I honestly have no words.

Father: Shit.... [TheLegitMidgit] is speechless. How could that be?

Me: Color me impressed.

Father: Is that green?

Me: Stop while you're ahead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLegitMidgit
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2014
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My son: Daddy, you wrap the presents. I don't know how to wrap.

Me: You just gotta rhyme the last word of every sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZadocPaet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2016
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my dad just pulled a double dadjoke on me.

Dad: So a Doc walks into a bar and asks for a Daiquiri. The bartender serves him and the doc says "this is terrible! It tastes like hickory!" The Bartender replies, "Yeah, it's a Hickory Daiquiri Doc!" (like the children's rhyme)

Me: groans

Dad: What was the actual words of it again? I forget.

Me: Hickory Dickory Dock, the mice ran up the clock.

Dad: Oh yeah. Hickory Dickory Dock, the mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one... and the other two escaped with minor injuries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oversized_canoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2014
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My wife said "nothing rhymes with orange"

I said "No it doesn't"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewbaccaNZ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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My wife just said, "Nothing rhymes with orange"

I said, "no it doesn't"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/number9spud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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A friend of mine said to me the other day "What rhymes with Orange?"

I said "No it doesn't."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondUnicorn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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My son asked "what rhymes with orange?" I said "no it doesn't."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thedaveabides98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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