Rene Krhin Puns

https://twitter.com/dailyozfootball/status/1439888771747434501

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

#FT: Real Zaragoza 3-0 Castellón

Real Zaragoza scorers: Francho Serrano (13'), Ivan Azón (47'), Álvaro Tejero (66' PEN)

Venue: La Romareda

Auto-refreshing reddit comments link

LINE-UPS

Real Zaragoza

Christian Alvarez, Mathieu Peybernes (Pichu Atienza), Nieto, Álvaro Tejero, Alejandro Francés, Alberto Zapater (James Igbekeme), Juan José Narváez (Haris Vuckic), Iñigo Eguaras, Sergio Bermejo Lillo (Luca Zanimacchia), Francho Serrano, Ivan Azón (Juan Manuel Sanabria).

Subs: Gabriel Fernandez, Carlos Vigaray, Álvaro Ratón, Gaizka Larrazabal, Josep Chavarría, Javi Hernández, Guillermo Acín.

^____________________________

Castellón

Whalley, Carlos Delgado (David Cubillas Peña), Rafa Gálvez, Víctor García, Adrián Lapeña Ruíz, César Díaz, Luís Gustavo (Marc Mateu), Yann Bodiger, Rubén Díez Adán (Carles Salvador), Juanto (Igor Zlatanovic), Arturo Molina (Josep Señé).

Subs: Jonatan Soriano, Rene Krhin, Alvaro Campos Estelles, Eneko Satrustegui, Marc Castells, Javi Moyano, Iago Indias.

MATCH EVENTS | via ESPN

13' Francho Serrano Goal

47' Ivan Azón Goal

53' Arturo Molina Yellow Card

57' On: Igor Zlatanovic|Off: Juanto

57' On: David Cubillas Peña|Off: Carlos Delgado

66' Álvaro Tejero Penalty - Scored

67' On: Marc Mateu|Off: Luís Gustavo

68' On: Pichu Atienza|Off: Mathieu Peybernes

68' On: Juan Manuel Sanabria|Off: Ivan Azón

70' David Cubillas Peña Yellow Card

75' On: James Igbekeme|Off: Alberto Zapater

75' On: Luca Zanimacchia|Off: Sergio Bermejo Lillo

75' On: Josep Señé|Off: Arturo Molina

76' On: Carles Salvador|Off: Rubén Díez Adán

82' On: Haris Vuckic|Off: Juan José Narváez

^(Don't see a thread for a match you're watching?) ^(Click here) ^(to learn how to request a match thread from this bot.)

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Hello and welcome to the season 1 roundup of The Castellón Chronicles, we had a very solid season which saw us narrowly miss out on the playoffs and hope is high for next season, if you want to see how the season ended I would recommend you check out the previous episode. This and every future roundup will cover many leagues throughout the world, a squad report, some club stats, player awards and a preview for the next season. Lets get things underway with the tournaments.

Copa del Rey: Deportivo Alavés are the champions of the Copa del Rey with them beating Levante in the final. Both Madrid clubs and Barcelona got knocked out by the round of 16 in a very disappointing season for them.

Continental Trophies. FC Bayern defeated Sevilla in the Super Cup at the start of the season. The Europa League was won by Arsenal who beat Monchengladbach in the final having beaten Spurs in the semi finals, shout out to Sivasspor and Alanyaspor for reaching the quarter finals. PSG would prevail in the Champions League beating Liverpool in the final.

Belgium: After 34 games KRC Genk are top of the 1A Pro League with KAA Gent behind them on matches won, Club Brugge and RSC Anderlecht would also qualify for the playoffs with Waasland-Beveren and KV Oostende finishing in the bottom 2.

England: Liverpool narrowly beat Man City and Chelsea to the title with Spurs, Man Utd and Leicester also finishing in the top 6, Newcastle, Watford and Brighton are all relegated with Fulham, West Brom and one of Sheffield Utd, Nottingham Forest, Bournemouth or Derby to replace them.

France: PSG ran away with the Ligue 1 title amassing 110 points, Lyon and Rennes also finished in the top 3 with Brest and Clermont finishing in the bottom 2. Nîmes and Dijon will replace them with Caen, Guinhamp and Toulouse to fight it out in the playoffs to face Troyes.

Germany: FC Bayern comfortably won the Bundesliga 13 points ahead of Dortmund, Bayer Leverkusen and RB Leipzig also finished in the top 4 with 1. FC Köln and Greuther Fürth being relegated. Werder Bremen and Schalke have been promoted with Hamburg to face Stuttgart in the playoff.

Italy: Juventus would prevail in a tight Serie A title race with AC Milan, Napoli, Inter Milan and Atalanta all being within 7 points of the winners. Parma, Empoli and Spezia all finish in the bottom 3.

Netherlands: Ajax won the title 5 points ahead of Feyenoord who in turn were 5 points ahead of PSV. VVV-Venlo, ADO Den Haag and PEC Zwolle all finished in the bot

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.