What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

👍︎ 13k
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👤︎ u/Rocknocker
📅︎ Oct 07 2020
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Got my GF while watching Colbert

My girlfriend and I are in bed watching the Late Show with Stephen Colbert eating red liquorice. I asked for one and she tosses one to me. I bite into it and with a grin on my face I raise the liquorice to my ear.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" I grin excitedly.

She turns and glares at me.

"I heard it through the Red Vine!"

She starts to reluctantly chuckle which turns to her laughing and then her beating me with a pillow. While she is doing this, Amy Schumer made a funny joke that made Colbert laugh. "You made me miss a funny joke!"

"What do you mean? You just heard one!"

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/nbolek71
📅︎ Sep 12 2015
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Dad joke at the Angels game

At the Angels game with my dad and step mom when dad brings out a bag full of grape flavored red vine licorice.
Step mom asks why he bought that flavor. Dad: "I heard it through the grape vine that they're great!"
No one but him was happy with that joke.

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ May 08 2014
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