Pyropia Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Mathematical puns makes me number

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

He lost May

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Put it on my bill

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

The Orion Arm. Alternate Universe Number 600. Instead of finding a solar system much like our own, we find instead a quaternary solar system. The first pair was a binary of G0 main-sequence stars, each one 105% as wide, 110% as massive and 126% as bright as our sun. The only bodies orbiting those two are seven super-Earths that weren’t going to be taken seriously due to none of them having an atmosphere.

Orbiting this binary from a distance of 30.1 astronomical units is the other binary, this time of K0 stars, orange dwarves, each one 85% as wide, 78% as massive and only 40% as bright as our sun. The only planet orbiting those two is a 3.1-billion-year-old rocky planet identical in width and mass to Earth. It orbits the two orange dwarves from a distance of one AU, or 93 million miles. Orbiting this planet from a distance of 405,000 miles away are two moons, each one approximately 1500 miles wide. Since they are separated by 180 degrees of orbital space, they are essentially given two names upon the initial discovery—Luna Diei (Moon of Day) and Lunan Noctus (Moon of Night). It has a more extreme obliquity, or axial tilt—19.7 to 26.9 degrees, as opposed to our 22.1 to 24.5. There is plenty of liquid water on the surface, but we have found less than zero signs of life in the ultra-green, iron-loaded oceans. If our Earth is volcanically active, then this planet is volcanically hyperactive, as huge, thick masses of basaltic lava pile up over the granitic continents, pushing them deeper and deeper to the bottom of the oceans. The largest mass found in our preliminary study measures 250 by 360 miles, with a volume of 77 million cubic miles and it stands 9,800 feet above the ocean surface.

It became clear to us that AU 600 does not have an Earth, so all interest in this just stopped. This sudden loss of interest may have been an advantage exploited by the mysterious entity who, in a blatant violation of the scientific community’s prime directive, turned this one planet into a seedworld.

We never knew who seeded this planet, christened “Genesis”, or how or even why. What we do know is when the seeding started—635 million years before the present. Again, we don’t know why that particular date was selected.

635 million years ago, the only land Genesis had were thousands upon thousands of basaltic island chains dazzling the entire planet like the rosettes of a leopard or a jaguar. Some were flat, othe

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

I’m stumped.