Putian Dialect Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

I'm creating some namebases to represent the southern regions of China that don't speak Mandarin or Cantonese. So far I have created a base for the Hokkien, Jin, and Yue dialects. The representations are completely region-based, and not entirely accurate to the actual languages, but they do add some notable, and pretty cool distinction between regions on your fantasy map. The Yue namebase generates some Portuguese sounding names, as I included some examples from the Macao region, which turned out to be a cool way to incorporate some complex history and cultural diversity to my eastern inspired map. The text for each namebase are below, as well as some picture examples from the map I created using them, to give you an idea of what to expect. I hope someone finds them useful...

Hokkien|5|10||0| Kaohsiung,Taipei,Taichung,Tainan,Taipei,Taoyuan,Chiayi,Hsinchu,Keelung,Changhua,Douliu,Hualien,Magong,Miaoli,Nantou,Pingtung,Puzi,Taibao,Taitung,Toufen,Yilan,Yuanlin,Zhubei,GāoxióngShì,Xīnběi,Táizhōng,Táiběi,JiāyìThì,XīnzhúShì,Jīlóng,Zhānghuà,Huālián,Píngdōng,Tàibǎo,Táidōng,Penghu,Kohiôngchhī,Sinpakchhī,Tâitiongchhī,Tâilâmchhī,Tâipakchhī,Thôhn̂gchhī,Kagīchhī,Sintekchhī,Kelângchhī,Chionghòachhī,Chianghòachhī,Táula̍kchhī,Hoalianchhī,Mákengchhī,Biâule̍kchhī,Miâule̍kchhī,Lâmtâuchhī,Pîntongchhī,Phòchúchhī,Thàipóchhī,Tâitangchhī,Thâuhūnchhī,Gîlânchhī,Oânlîmchhī,Tekpakchhī,Cangan,Quanzhou,Zihu,Lukang,Zhangzhou,Longyan,Datian,Guangdong,Haifeng,Jieyang,Chaoyang,Hainan,Leizhou,Haikou,Chaoshan,Teoswa,Chhek,Chheh,Kiâu,Guî-hiám,Tāi-sài-koán,Pó-hiám,Sin-bûn,Ha̍k-seng,Tāi-ha̍k,Toa-oh,Jinjiang,Quanzhou,Putian,Nan'an, Zhengzhou,Fuqing,Shishi,Longyan,Longhai,Sanming,Fu'an,Nanping,Fuding,Ningde,Yong'an,Jian'ou,Shaowu,Wuyishan,Zhangping

Yue Chinese|3|12|eao|0| Guangzhou,Dongguan,Foshan,Shantou,Zhongshan,Huizhou,Jiangmen,Zhuhai,Zhanjiang,Puning,Jieyang,Jieyang ,Shaoguan,Qingyuan,Maoming,Lufeng,Zhaoqing,Yangjiang,Heyuan,Chaozhou,Taishan,Xingning,Kaiping,Shanwei,Lianjiang,Sihui,Meizhou,Meizhou,Gaozhou,Yingde,Leizhou,Xinyi,Wuchuan,Huazhou,Heshan,Luoding,Enping,Yunfu,Lechang,Lianzhou,Nanxiong,Yangchun,Nanning,Liuzhou,Guilin,Guigang,Beiliu,Yulin,Guiping,Qinzhou,Beihai,Hezhou,Cenxi,Laibin,Fangchenggang,Wuzhou,Baise,Lipu[,Chongzuo,Jingxi,Dongxing,Heshan,Pingxiang,Aomen,Aumwnz,BánDảoMaCao,CheocCaChün,CidadeDeMacau,Coloane,Dangzai,HacSa,Hac-Tsa,Heisha,IlhaDaTaipa,Jiu'ao,KáHó,LaiChiVan,Lin-chia-ts'un,Lizhiwan,Luhuan,Lui-Tchi-Van,Ma Cao,Macaum,Makaaw,Makawo,Makèë,KaHo,HácSá,Tcheok-Ka-Tchin,Tche

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

free

"That's what they're fighting about."

Because his Visa didn’t work.