A private tooter
The Gas station
One has to go
A private tutor
A Para-doxx
It was fined $50 for littering.
A guy was scheduled for an enema tonight... and I decided since he I a patient in a state facilty... it is an enema of the state
Because it was undressed
I don’t know whose it was, but it’s mine now
Because it wasn’t sculpted to scale
(Just thought that up, it’s my first attempt posting here lol)
All the press wanted to know was, did Yoko harm her?
Well, most places have been requiring people to wear a mask, and we all know what happens when he wears one....
Oops, wrong sub
Truly shocking news.
... the store manager reported that I took a leek.
He was shocked
A private tutor
I keep it low-key.
but it remained a book with seven seals to me.
He cracks under pressure
A tractor
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
“But why?” they asked, as they moved off.
“Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
So I had to ask her to clean her glasses
They'd traded jokes, played pop music, and generally made people's lives a touch brighter as they trundled to work.
Now, though, there was silence on the air. Ernie silently reread the fax message from the Department of Defense. As licensed broadcasters they were legally obligated to alert the public, to tell them the nukes were flying and that in a few minutes all the world's troubles would be over. What, though, was the point of that? To torture people with the knowledge of something they couldn't change?
Their eyes met and a decision was reached. Bert put on their most requested song, a sugary top 40 tune while Ernie produced a bottle of bourbon from under the desk. As their producer banged on the locked studio door the colleagues toasted the end of a long career.
Bert, always the consummate professional, turned away from the window as the first explosion split the distant horizon. He straightened his tie, tucked in his shirt, and brushed his hair back. He would meet his fiery death with dignity.
He turned to Ernie and said in a quiet, resigned voice, "How do I look, Ernie?"
Ernie walked slowly over to his friend. He looked into Bert's face and saw the closeness they shared, the strength of their relationship, forged over the years. He took a deep breath and spoke quietly:
"With your eyes, Bert."
So my partner probably wants to stab me more than i think. Almost every time she ask is me to “put the kettle on” I respond “I can’t, it won’t fit” or if we’re shopping and I’m asked “do you need a bag” I point at her and say “it’s fine I brought my own” there are others, but they currently evade my 2am brain.
I feel I need some new ones to keep her on her toes and what better place than this sanctum of one liners (except for this post, for which I apologise).
New ditty in public.
One is a spine doctor and the other is a spin doctor, but both give things a new twist!
Because it's illegal to bust a nut in public.
Apparently it's illegal to wave a fire arm in public.
Long time fan, first time poster.
He was a little bear.
ahem
PUBLIC SERVICE!
Thank you for your time.
So today I’m wearing pants to take her to school.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
A private tooter.
a private tooter.
A private tutor
A private tutor
He was a private tutor.
