Plaid Word Puns

Was reading Dead of Winter's page on BGG and it says: ""Crossroads" is a new series from Plaid Hat Games that tests a group of survivors' ability to work together and stay alive while facing crises and challenges from both outside and inside. .

Dead of Winter: A Crossroads Game, the first game in this series"

So any word at all about the next game of the series?

I haven’t heard it in years as far as I remember. I’ve just been calling it “that flannel looking pattern thing but not.”

Needless to say I’m very excited.

"Lost in Space" I believe the title is.

I guess the concept didn't work

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I thought finally coming home for the holidays was going to be a good thing. I haven't seen my sister or her kids in almost two years, and I hated missing out on all the important bits of their lives. So this Christmas I was going to be vaccinated and boostered and tested and whatever else I had to do to get to see them.

Fortunately it all went smoothly and I got there in time for the big Christmas eve dinner. Normally I can be a little awkward about eating - I have very sensitive gums and fake teeth and have to eat my own pureed stuff - but my sister has the same medical condition so everybody is used to it. The doctors never figured it out and we got picked on a lot as kids, so it's such a relief being around people who don't stare as you chug protein. Besides, the focus was all on my niece and nephew.

Luke, my older nephew, was trying to be cool. He's ten now, almost a teen and it's starting to show. Cool haircut, cool sweatpants, cool shoes. He desperately wants everyone to know he's an adult. It honestly made me kinda sad, how I'd missed out on the last of him being just a kid.

Fortunately Alice, his sister, is only six and she's still hopped up on the magic of Christmas. I'll admit I was playing favorites, spending more time with her and her Legos than with Luke, but he just wanted to play Fortnite on his phone with his friends anyway so I didn't feel too bad about it.

Alice had plenty to tell me. About school over zoom and playdates with friends - I let the words wash over me like a warm hug. This was so much better than a little box on my computer.

But then as we finished assembling one of her Christmas presents, she started asking me if I remembered when I was a kid. How Alice would come to my window to make sure no one was awake. Then sneak inside, in the dark, and watch me sleep.

I barely stifled a "what the fuck?" It didn't make any sense. My sister and I are pretty close together in age, Alice was twenty years away from being born when we were kids. How could she have watched us sleep when we were children? She said it super nonchalant, too, mostly focused on her legos. "Well?" she asked, "do you remember?"

I decided to play along. "How could I remember if I was asleep?"

"You didn't stay asleep," she told me. She said she watched me and my sister, her mom, for hours. She described our wallpaper - pink clouds our mom left up for way too long - and our pajamas - a big shirt of my dad's for me, and some ugly plaid thing for my sister -

I'm trying to build out a more complete list of towers and locations to have a more robust list of locations that my players can visit when they journey to Candlekeep. I have the book Eliminated Candlekeep companion and have pulled a few ideas from that. I will add a few examples from that book as well as a few of my own. Candlekeep can be pretty nuts so go crazy! No idea is too nuts

1. Fyrentennimar- this tower was built within the hollowed out remains of an ancient red dragon named Fyrentennimar. Powerful magic protects the dragons body from decay. Along the ceiling are 5 taxidermied heads of chromatic dragons. One for each color. An elderly dragon born named Thava Norixius occupies this tower and is probably the foremost expert on dragons in Faerun.

2. Arriene's Beastiary Spire- this spire is one of the taller structures in Candlekeep as it houses numerous beasts from around Faerun in order to study them. Arriene Goldcone is a female elf and was once a ranger. She has since retired and decided to dedicate her post adventuring life to studying the various beasts of Faerun

3. A long hallway decorated with various artistic floating glowglobes. This glowglobes are each uniquely decorated and float around anyone that enters into the hall. No other light illuminates the hall.

4. A talking brass door that refuses to open unless the party present it with some juicy gossip. The door doesn't care whether it is false or not.

5. The Floating Step- this is a secret tunnel shaft that travels up the backside of the mountain that Candlekeep was built on. A single large slab of rock with a levitation spell built into it will travel up and down the shaft as a keeper wills. It can be used in case of emergency to escape Candlekeep and will allow for large quantities of books and scrolls to be taken down or up with it. The shaft has powerful glyphs written into its side walls that can be set off to destroy the tunnel in a last ditch effort to escape.

6. The Port of Air- this is a place for flying vessels to dock their boats, ships and even animals. It has a stable suitable for all manner of flying creatures. This port also houses a few defensive ships that Candlekeep can call upon in case of aerial attack.

7. The Architects Playground- this is a dome structured building houses an course on architectural studies. Within the dome, students can use magic to quickly build miniature models of buildings and then test them against real world physics. This building almost c

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

He lost May

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Part 1

Part 2

It was an odd feeling, trying to find the place where we’d been lost before. As Roxanne parked along the side of the dirt road where we’d searched for Bryce, my eyes drifted to the treeline. I remembered how the things that looked like our friends had lingered there, just beyond the reach of light. How their eyes seemed to glow as red as the taillights as we fled.

The hunt for our missing companions Simar and Evan continued, but from where we stood even the helicopter sounded far away. Instead of the coughs and curses and shouts of the other searchers, there was only a heavy silence that felt like an extra weight in my pack. Roxanne and I talked about our gear, our intended path, the sweat on our asses and even the weather–anything to avoid mentioning the Thin Places. Anything to avoid mentioning our goal.

The forest, however, wouldn’t let me forget.

Every rustle in the undergrowth or clatter of stones from a cliff set my teeth on edge. Roxanne had done SAR enough to distinguish important sounds from unimportant ones; I, apparently, had not. That first day, we made camp in good spirits: although I didn’t feel comfortable navigating alone, I was starting to get the hang of the compass and map. Roxanne was quiet and thoughtful; I figured that, like me, she had never gone out this far without a crew before. Huddled up against Roxanne in my sleeping bag that night, I found myself hoping that things would go like this until our supplies ran out. What if we never found anything, then just returned home and put all this behind us?

We set out with the dawn in a grey haze. Damp rocks and ferns, white mist, and the looming greenish-black shadows of pine trees–that was our whole world. The fog had an odd way of muffling sound; I thought I heard deer grunting behind me, but when I turned I saw only a wall of white. A while later, Roxanne pointed out three deer in the distance. They stood stock-still, observing us. Maybe it was just a trick of the mist, but I’d swear the ‘deer’ stood up on two legs and walked off after we passed by.

Maybe it was the fog that interfered with Roxanne’s GPS equipment. We hadn’t been dating long, but I recognized that face she made when she scrunched up her eyebrows and scrutinized the little device–it was

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

I’ve seen running jokes about my last post on the rumored underground pyramid in Alaska that apparently suppresses human consciousness, but I don’t really give a shit so I’m posting about it again. Those who should move on probably know who you are by now, and it pretty much goes without saying that this post is not for everybody.

If there was flair for speculation I would be using it for this post.

I want to start out with a brief synopsis of the origin of humanity as described in the ancient Sumerian texts.

The Sumerians believed human-like "gods" came to Earth and were tasked to make the planet habitable and mine for minerals. The gods felt that the work they were doing caused them too much suffering and the god of gods, Anu, agreed.

Anu's son, Enki, suggested they create man to bear the brunt of that responsibility, so they killed one of the gods and mixed his body and blood with clay, creating the first human hybrid.

These hybrids were unable to reproduce, however, so later on another change was made to allow for human reproduction. According to some, the first two humans with this ability to reproduce on their own may have been the Adam and Eve described in western religions based on the similarities between the two stories.

This alteration was done without the approval of Enki's brother, Enlil, and this sparked a conflict between the gods and mankind suffered greatly.

So the Sumerians wrote that humans were servants to the gods. How would the gods maintain that dynamic?

A good way to keep humans from uprising would be to create conflict among themselves. As Tom Delonge has pointed out, this could be accomplished if humans were too busy fighting each other to realize our potential power.

>To give us hope, false hope or whatever, as long the hope isn’t the same as everyone else we’re not going to get along very well, and why do they want us to not get along? Probably because if we all got along and realized what the fuck was going on we might be pretty powerful. We might be pretty important.

>Imagine if you had a kid who’s like superman. If he fucking realizes what he can do, where all he has to do is like calm