It will...be my Civic duty.
He's finally shown me his true colours.
Hong Kong.
The Air Force, because they're US AF.
Didn't he already?
It comes from the brewery a little flat.....
To get his balls deflated.
After I was done, I pointed at it and yelled, “You essay! You essay!”
The prostate
Stares and Strips
Norse code
When I asked him why he bought them a week early, he looks at me and says it's because by the time the Super Bowl comes around, "they'll be DEFLATED."
Dad: "Do they have 4th of July in Europe?"
Me: "No..."
Dad: stares "Yes they do.."
Patriotic
"Why are you just on reddit? This is America day!
You should be on Red-, White-, and Blue-it!"
Have you heard about the new opera that Johann Strauss wrote, it is called
Die Flederballs
"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."
The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"
He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.
"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."
The man continues to keep his cool.
"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"
He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.
"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.
The spy smirks.
"But I still think you American spy."
The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.
He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"
The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.
The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.
After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.
In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."
The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.
"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"
The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."
"No, thanks. We'll pass."
I was surprised that everyone was wearing patriotic gear there instead.
We were watching the Patriots/Falcons game, which had a ton of fog in the stadium obscuring camera views, when I dropped this one:
“It’s weird that the fog is still there when the stadium is full of fans.”
Because they’re USAF.
The Air Force; they're US AF
