Papa M Puns

"Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"

Because it’s papa’s new guinea

I told him it’s Naan of his business

Edit: he could have replied “papa dumb”

Papa, "What colour is it?"

3 yr old, "Blue."

Papa, "Where did you see it last?"

3 yr old: "In my hand."

Endless entertainment!

Edit: formatting

his personal 'Papa'razzi.

My 7 year-year-old son knows me too well. When he's hungry, he becomes grumpy. The other day he said: "Papa, I'm hungry!! And please don't say 'hi hungry, I'm papa' ". I almost had tears of joy in my eyes

Thanks to their dad, Papa Razzi.

Kiddo: Geez whiz dad, we didn't get any snow at all this year!

Papa: Yeah, it never used to be like this back in the colden days...

Everyone: sigh

I got them from Guinea, but my daughter's wanted younger ones, so we went to New Guinea, but one of the ones was a father, so he had to go back to Papa New Guinea.

Papa-roni!

Papa No Grinny.

Son- Papa why was the pancake good at baseball?

Me- I don't know bud. Why?

So- it had a good Batter...

Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato are walking down the street. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind and Papa Tomato gets really angry. So he goes back and squishes him and goes 'catch up'

Papa Razzi

Wife: "Wow son! You had so much to eat this morning! Papa makes the best eggs."

Me: "I think chickens make the best eggs."

🐔

My grandfather or Pa, as I called him gave my an absolute gem.

He was actually my step mother's dad and we already called my other grandfather Papa, so we called him 'Pa Ulb' - Ulb being his surname.

He was an incredible artist and would paint awesome things for us or on our bedroom walls. I remember he painted me a massive Star Wars piece on one of my walls when Episode 1 came out. I was only about about 6 at the time and remember being scared of Darth Maul. From this we used to joke around that Darth Maul would come and get me if I did anything wrong. Sort of like a police officer watching my every move, to ensure I behaved.

This carried on as a joke until he died 2 years ago, when I had done something wrong he said he'd call the police and get Maul to take me away. When he did die he had just finished an incredible painting of Darth Maul as a police officer. It was amazing! My parents could make sense of it and weren't sure if it was him that had painted it, so they flipped it over because he used to always write Pa Ulb Art and the title of the painting.

Surely enough on the back it said Pa ulb Art - Maul Cop.

Papa New Guinea

Papua pupa papas

"Papa, new guinea"

It's Dinner time-

3y.o.: "Papa you spoon." ( which translates to - please feed me).

Me: "You spoon, I'm busy forking."

3y.o.: "Papa, fork yourself."

edit- Thank you for all the love. Forgot to mention the 3y.o. in question is a she.

We call him papa-razzi

Me- Archer, did you have a cookie? A- no Me- grab a cookie and name it yours. A- I take this cookie and name it Yours. (A couple seconds go by. ) A- papa? Me- yeah bud. A- I gave my cookie a name. I can’t eat it... can I have another? (Failed winking)

It was papa's new guinea.

Oh Dam....

My sisters and I were shook by the amount of thought Papa put into this joke!

Papa squat

Papa, Papa Grazie

Tangent asked papa Cos if Sine could come to his Opposite Day party, Cos thought about it but in the end he replied with: “No of Cosecant”

Cause I'm gonna papa balloon.

Girlfriend: Do you think Jimmy Johns would deliver here?

Me: I think his Dad may.

GF: His Dad?

Me: Yeah, Papa John.

My dad: “Your brother just sent me a message saying he’d seen the new Mamma Mia, I sent him a photo of me and the new car”

Me: “.....”

My dad:”I told him he’d now seen the new Papa Kia too”

Dad: son, what did you just put on your rice?

Son: soy sauce

Dad: hola, Sauce! Soy Papa!

The ladies love it - they call me a massage-inist

-RIP Papa Franku

I don’t usually tell Dad jokes ... but when I do, he usually laughs.

Happy Fathers Day to the papas out there!

Me: I wonder where the papa duck is.

BF: He's left the family due to his quack addiction

I have twins that each have a stuffed fox they love. I find one on my couch cushion and pick it up before sitting down after a rough day.

Kid 1: "papa, can I have that fox?"
Me: "sure, sweetie"
Kid 2: "can I have a fox too?"
Me: "sorry, peanut, I'm all out of fox to give"

edit: formatting.

And there are three big rocks in a row each one bigger than the next.

The mother says, "Look it's a Papa Rock, a Mama Rock, and a Baby Rock!"

The father says, "Yeah it's the Goldirocks!"

Anytime I would start to fall asleep while my dad was driving the back country roads. He would yell hay startling me and as soon as I gained my composer and I would ask "What?" And he would than point at a hay bail and say there is some hay over there.

Fast forward 8 or so years and I was riding in the back of are jeep with my dad and Papa (he doesn't like being called grampa) all of the sudden my papa yells son and my dad slams on the brakes in a panic asking what's wrong. He(papa) than casually points at the sun and says the suns out.

Papa, ya

My daughter was up early and downstairs with me when my father-in-law woke up and came down.

She said "I woke up before you Papa."

His response - "Nope. I woke up 50 years ago. Did you?"

We are from Quebec so we speak french.

It's lunchtime and someone at the table is getting thirsty. (Keep in mind that ''laid'' and ''lait'' are pronounced the same way in french)

''Peux tu me passer le lait, papa? (Can you pass over the milk, dad?)'' My sister says.

''Ben, le laid est just là! (Well, the ugly is right there!)'' My dad says while pointing at me.

He then proceeds to laugh, extremely proud of his joke. Oh dad..

papa tomato, mama tomato and baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind and papa tomato gets really angry, goes back and squishes him and says…

KETCHUP!