I've just been for a stroll in the sunshine through the countryside. It's been a long and pleasant walk, and I've sat down on a bench at a cricket pitch. It's incredibly peaceful and I feel content.
Suddenly though, with my gaze somewhere in the horizion, vaguely taking in the blue sky and the green grass, I am struck with a more violent image. I see panic, rioting and violence on the streets all across the UK.
It's just a build up of pressure, the continuation of Tory sleaze in government, gradually agitating more and more people. I saw huge protests on the streets first, starting out organised and with purpose, but ending as a rabble. Ready to burst, a smaller but significant inciting incident happens in one of the UK's cities.
Over the course of a few days, the same thing is happening in nearly every urban centre across the UK.
That's basically when I came back to some sense of where I sit right now. It felt extremely smooth until I jolted out of it. I've not experienced any kind of feeling like this before, the closest I have ever really come is semi-regular deja-vu experiences, but that's a completely different kettle of fish. I'm also not someone that has any firm opinion on this kind of experience. I'm not a naysayer, but I'm not necessarily a believer either. I need more information to be able to make that judgement.
One final thing is that I noticed a lot of similarities with what I saw to things that we have seen before in this country. For instance, Margaret Thatcher's government introduced the Poll Tax in 1989, leading to mass protests. The Toxteth riots of 1981 and the English riots of 2011 were both triggered by some form of heavy handed policing, although tensions were bubbling for other reasons in both cases.
This could just be a case of just re-imagining history after some physical exertion, but it felt very real and unlike anything I've experienced before.
Hi all! I recently started a new full time job in my field of study and I really enjoyed it. It was a change of pace from part time retail, which was a field that I've always worked in for about 8 years. And I had the normal amount of nervousness prior to the first day, nothing crazy, the usual, I hope I'll do well and I hope that I get along with my coworkers. But 3 days in, my supervisor said that I was doing very well and was impressed with how fast I'm learning and my work started to pile up after lunch and I wasn't able to finish a few things but was okay to be left for the next day. But I wasn't too worried about it, but that night, was the first night that I had a panic attack out of nowhere. I was watching TV and I could feel my heart racing and I thought I was having vertigo (I had my first episode of vertigo a few weeks ago, which I think was from stress for the second interview for my current job), and I felt my chest was tightening up and I thought I was going crazy because I was just watching TV and really didn't have too much to worry about. So I took meds for my vertigo and went to sleep and was still anxious the next day but was better as the day went on.
I'm generally not a nervous or anxious person, only when changes like this happens, and this is a big one. I may have had a mild panic attack over a year ago because I was starting a new retail job.
I was wondering if anyone had any experience similar to mine and had any tips? I tried mediating, deep breaths, doesn't really help too much when I close my eyes and can feel my heart racing. I even went as far as going out to buy CBD oil but have yet to try. Any advice would be appreciated!!
^- ^WW2 ^Tweets ^from ^1942 ^(@RealTimeWWII) ^| ^February ^23, ^2020
So last night I went to do a grocery run and some bottles fell from my basket and broke. I started to get really panicky and was almost about to cry. I thought it was really weird that I would have such a big reaction over some broken bottles.
I told my friend about this (she's been my best friend all my life). And she basically said that she saw me be bullied and manipulated my whole life and that she wasn't surprised. And she also said that she always understood it when I was mean to her because she knew what I was going through at home and it was only normal that I acted out. That struck me hard because I had never thought of it that way. I always thought that I had anxiety and panic attacks because of having to always get good grades, but today I realized it was much bigger than that and I started to remember things that I had to do just to not set NMom off.
There was one incident I clearly remember. One afternoon, while my mom was napping, I was maybe 7 or 8 and was playing with toys and accidentally swallowed a piece of metal. I freaked out and went to tell my mom. But I was so scared to wake her up because if I tried to wake her up, she would hit me for disturbing her sleep. So I slowly whispered to her that I swallowed the metal and went back to playing. Obviously nothing was done about it and I don't know what happened to it ever.
I am not living with my mom anymore and I am slowly coming out of the fog and rebuilding my confidence. For anyone who is going through the same and is reading this, you are not alone and it is not your fault no matter what your Nparents say.
Then I realized...it was on paws.
The dr said i was lucky not to have 3rd degree burns.
I'm shacking right as I'm writing this! Idk if this is allowed, but what's happening to me?!
For a bit of background, I (23 F) only discovered that my mom is an N about a year ago when I moved away and had some space from her emotional hold over me. She is a very covert N in the sense that her public face is "the most loving and supportive mother in the planet," and her N-abuses revolved more around emotional manipulation and emotional control, not physical or outright cruel abuses (or so I thought). I grew up a slave to my nmom's emotions. Last night I experienced an intense panic attack coupled with flashbacks to my very early childhood (younger than 4, I know because they all occurred in my family's first house that we moved from before I turned 4.) They were memories I hadn't recalled in years, and none of them were memories I'd previously considered negative or traumatizing, but during my panic attack they played before my eyes like a movie and I experienced so much fear and confusion associated with them. The memory of my nmom's face, as well as memories of my closed bedroom and my parent's closet, caused waves of terror and anguish. Anyone had a similar experience before? I can't tell if I have unresolved trauma I need to explore or if the panic attack just created a negative association between the memories and my state of anxiety. This has really been eating away at me - Any of you with similar experiences or advice would be helpful!
Edit: spelling
The panic hit me today, I'm struggling in my bachelor's classes which I could fail all of them, I can't find a job it's so hard, I want to cry, my dad's moving away in June and idk what im gonna do he's all I got, I'm just numb in life, everyone left
