A year after Beethoven died, the church where he was buried was being expanded, so all of the bodies in the graveyard had to be dug up and moved to the central cemetery in Vienna.

The grave diggers pulled out Beethoven’s casket, and heard the slightest <squeaksqueaksqueak> sound coming from inside. Curious they popped open the casket and saw Beethoven with a folio of his music, methodically erasing everything on the page.

The gravedigger says, “Maestro, what are you doing?”

Beethoven says, “Isn’t it obvious? I’m decomposing.”

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👤︎ u/docmoonlight
đź“…︎ Jan 20 2023
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I hate my job, all I do is crush cans all day.

It’s soda pressing.

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👤︎ u/throwawayreddit73
đź“…︎ Dec 30 2022
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So, this regional orchestra was performing Beethoven’s 9th Symphony. The choir doesn’t sing until the 4th movement, so the basses decided to go next door to the bar and get a drink…

One of the basses said, “Wait, last night we came back a couple minutes late and missed our entrance. How can we make sure that doesn’t happen tonight?”

Another bass said, “Don’t worry, I tied the pages of the conductor’s music together with a piece of string between the 3rd and 4th movement. It will take him a couple minutes to get it untied, so that will buy us a couple extra minutes to get back.”

So, they go next door to the bar, and with their newfound plan, they decide to drink even more and again lose track of time.

The third movement comes to a close, and the basses start staggering onto stage as the conductor is struggling with the string in his music. And of course, at this point, the crowd is on the edge of their seats…

It’s the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.

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👤︎ u/docmoonlight
đź“…︎ Oct 04 2022
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