Are you seriously over the moon?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wolemercy
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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Sure the cow jumped over the moon! You would jump too!

That man’s hands were COLD...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elo_Solo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Why did the cow jump over the moon?

The cat played the fiddle terribly and the cow wanted to get away from it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Have you heard the one about the cow that jumped over the moon?

It was legend-dairy.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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The cow fell when it tried to jump over the moon.

It was an utter disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stetja
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
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r/NatureIsFuckingLit, right?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OctoBear87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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I heard there’s a lunar eclipse next week

Some people seem over the moon about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/j4z9
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Equine problems

2 girls are chatting, one isn't particularly bright and seems very deep in thought, the other asks what she's thinking about, the not so bright one says she has an issue, "I have had a horse for years and my parents have just bought me a new one which is virtually identical to the first and I'm struggling to work out which one is which." The friend suggested she try cutting the mane short on one horse making it easy to identify. The friend is over the moon and rushes away to try the suggestion. A few weeks pass and the friends meet up, The friend and how she got on with the mane cutting trick. "It was fine for the first couple of weeks but the mane grew back so I'm back to square one." The friend thinks for a while and suggests cutting the hair on the tail short making identification simple. Again the girl rushes off to try the suggestion. A few weeks later they meet again with much the same story, this time the friend suggests measuring the horses height to see if one is taller than the other. A few weeks later they meet up, the not so clever one is ecstatic and proceeds to tell her friend how it went. "It was amazing and I hadn't noticed but the black horse was 2 hands taller than the white one".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orcamarine
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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Bought my wife a rocket for her birthday...

She's over the moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/comefindme1231
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Me: Dad, are you excited for the 50th anniversary of the lunar landing today???

Dad: I'm over the moon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SarahJBP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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The Cheerio story

So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis) Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pup, and decided to keep him. It wasn’t much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. After waiting on line for over a week, his appoint was finally here. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this lad’s eye. He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the family’s prized honey nut dog. Was it worth it? Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. After the milk was ready to drink, it was shipped off to be sold. He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasn’t enough. This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the β€œAmerican dream” and do the best he could. He wanted to become a frosted Ch

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackcrackaman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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I wonder how NASA felt after Apollo 11's success

I bet they were over the moon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confirmedpawnshop
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
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Full Beaver

We're on a road trip and my mom, a biologist, says that the moon tonight is a "Full Beaver" which used to mean that it was the last night to set beaver traps before the swamp freezes over.

My dad replies: "Wow, the last time I saw a full beaver was when that girl at the concert had a wardrobe malfunction."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/speederaser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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My dad's personal favorite

So my dad and I are driving home from a camping trip. We pull over at a rest stop to grab some dinner. Looking up at the sky, I see the moon is at a crescent. I say to him "Do you think it's waning?" While pointing at the moon. Without looking up, he responds "Waning? It's not even cwoudy!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MalfiteMeIRL
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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super moon

I'm visiting my parents from out of town and we all had gone outside to see the super moon and the meteor shower.

My dad waited until I said something along the lines of "oh wow look at the super moon."

That's when it started. He began singing "Super moon, super moon, it's super moonay" to the tune of "super freak." My mom, not to be outdone, joined in.

I'm clearly not having it so after seeing the super moon I go back inside. They follow me inside and I trip over their dog Tink. Annoyed I said, "Stupid Tink" setting off a new chorus of Super Tink.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mmmdonutspopme
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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