No, get the sink outta here
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mammayeywyy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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While my wife and I were dating in high school we were at this church lock in. I said, β€œCan’t wait till we get outta here and I can plant one on ya” she said, β€œWhat kinda flower”

No hesitation I say, β€œTulips”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vHRenegade
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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What goes "ooh ooh"?

A cow with no lips.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anxietyevangelist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2017
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What did Bruce Willis say when he saw an asteroid heading for earth?

Armageddon outta here!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmygun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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I saw a guy running down the street with a giant letter F.

I thought to myself, hes getting the f outta here

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blackshark220
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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After Lucifer betrayed God, how did God kick him out of heaven?

"get the hell outta here"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dakkamakka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Steak and eggs walk into a bar

And the bartender says, β€œGet the heck outta here, we don’t serve food!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dustinmschmidt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd?

Let's get the flock outta here.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bruiser777
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
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Dad just said this..

So like 2 minutes ago I was brushing my teeth, my dad walks in and does a massive fart.

Me: im outta here. Dad: no, you have plenty of it. Me: what?? Dad: on your head, you have a head full.

Classic dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilzombie400
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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Got my now ex-wife with this one

While attending s family event that neither of us wanted to attend, I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

Me: I think we should make like a tree...

Her: and leaf? eye roll and groan

Me: No, we should make like a tree and get the fuck outta here.

Her: facepalm with louder groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Returningdarkness
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
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A gold brick walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Au! Get outta here!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Krawl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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I laughed...he was confused.

A coworker said to me as he was leaving...
"OK I'm outta here. I'll give you a ring later."
I sd "Woah woah, I think its a little too soon for that. I've only known you a few months"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spybot2915
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2014
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My father in law swished this from downtown.

My mother in law was choosing me for leaving my breakfast utensils and drink on the table.

Her husband smirked, "Yeah, get your FORK AND coffee and get outta here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanman1975
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2015
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