I looked her in the eyes and replied "no honey, they're dead."
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
no matter what he's still arson
Ahh. I get it. It’s a viscous cycle.
[removed]
free of charge.
European
"It’s cutting hedge technology!"
..you could call it an Autumnobile now !
while I ate some bad salmon and got chickenella.
A pool table!
In retrospect, her psychic vision was 2020.
I mist.
“Diddly squat”. Dead pan serious as he says it too.
Patio furniture
She said. Our cars aren’t social distancing! You don’t want them to get ...CARona virus do you?
Proud moment.
It's a regular penacea!
It literally makes no sense
I still can’t believe she holy ghosted me
Now I’m totally sick, bro! 🤘🤘🤘
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
I said, “you’re lucky – mine is still alive…”
Should have seen her face when I drove pasta
It just doesn’t add up.
>!https://imgur.com/xDwJi0C!<
Suspicious mimes.
It’s our family hair loom.
She said: “My anaconda don’t want none unless it has buns, hun”
I was dad on arrival.
“...cereal killer.”
Gotta say... these are rough Times.
Amazon Prime
I'm LIVID!
I thought I thaw a pussycat.
"Dam!!!"
I simple told him "It's no Gouda!"
I got disstrack-ted
.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'
What a waist of time.
So we did it squid pro quo
..you could call it an Autumnobile now !
A pool table.
A snooker table!
