I always knock on the refrigerator door before opening it.
Just in case there is a salad dressing.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Feb 25 2019
I have trouble opening doors
I just canβt handle them
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 13 2019
Why are The Doors scheduled to play as an opening act of nearly every concert I attend, but I never made it to catch them play live?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 08 2019
grandpa told me: "if a door closes somewhere, another opens
he was a really bad cabinet maker...
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!
Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
A clown held the door open for me today
I thought that it was a nice jester
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
My grandfather always said that when one door closes, another one opens.
He was a terrible cabinetmaker.
π︎ 53
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
My grandpa always told me "when one door closes another one opens."
A lovely and inspiring man...makes shit cabinets though.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
You know your supposed to knock on the refrigerator door before you open it
Cuz there might be a salad dressing
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
What did the ranch say when someone opened the refrigerator door?
Close the door, Iβm dressing!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Why did Jesus leave the door to his tomb open?
Because he was born in a barn.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Just open the door!
π︎ 173
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
Do you know what a ghost uses to open a door ?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Before he passed away, my grandfather said, βHere are three words that would help open a lot of doors for you.β
π︎ 5k
π
︎ May 11 2020
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, βIf the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?β
I said, βNo, we will still be friends.β
π︎ 200
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
I called round at my neighbour's house early one morning and she opened the door in her nightie.
I thought, "That's a funny place for a door."
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
What do you call a door that doesn't open?
A jar.
Edit:
Apparently this isn't original, and there's a "real" version of this joke.
When is a door not a door?
When itβs ajar.
Thanks for the correction, u/TheRealTripleH !
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
My dad always said "as one door closes another one opens"
He never quite got the hang of assembling Ikea furniture.
π︎ 80
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
What do you call a cute button, which on pressing norifies the house owner to open the door?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
I am pulling my hair out to think of that R & B singer who opens doors
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
My office door would not stay open.
I finally put a stop to that.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
I was on a family vacation in Japan when I slept in one day. My dad flung open my door and told me to wake up. I said, βDad, what do you think this is?...
...the Land of the Rising Son?β
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelterβ¦
π︎ 108
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
Wheeeen youuuu open the doors and you see lots of drawers
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: βSure, my door is always open.β
π︎ 21k
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
My grandad always said: "When one door closes, another one opens"...
...Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
π· Removed - Punchline in title
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
My grandpa used to say "When one door closes, another shall open"
He was a great man, but a terrible cupboard maker.
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 04 2020
What does James Hetfeild call his door when it's open?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
I left my garage door open yesterday, and someone stole my limbo stick.
Like seriously, how low can you go?
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 06 2020
A couple of years ago I learned how to lock pick and it's opened up so many doors for me.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
To keep the virus away, I'm taking forever to open the door, refusing to change the temperature and only playing games in single player mode.
In other words, I'm doing everything I can to be a bad host.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 24 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
I Always Knock On The Fridge Door Before Opening It...
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it...
there might be a salad dressing.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
I always knock on my fridge before opening the door
Just in case there's a salad dressing
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening.
Just in case thereβs a salad dressing.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 03 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it.
Just in case the salad is dressing. Wouldn't want to walk in on that!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 25 2019
I always knock on the fridge door before opening...
Just in case thereβs a salad dressing
π︎ 28
π
︎ Feb 13 2019
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it...
Just in case thereβs a salad dressing.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 24 2019
Always knock on the fridge door before opening it.
Just in case there is a salad dressing.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 26 2019
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case thereβs a salad dressing
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Aug 29 2020
I held the door open for a clown
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case there's a salad dressing
π︎ 208
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
The other day I held the door open for a clown
π︎ 26
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
When one door closes, another one opens
Other than that, itβs a pretty good car.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
A clown held the door open for me today.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
On his deathbed, my grandfather said, βRemember these two words. Itβll open a lot of doors for you in life.β
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Mar 23 2019
The other day I opened the door for a clown
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 24 2020
In a recent poll, 80% of people in America said they would not open their homes to a sentient water basin that walked up to their door and asked for shelter.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Nov 06 2018
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