The only two open minded presidents

JFK and Lincoln

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatBoiKyrum1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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Dead people are more likely to be "open minded" than living people
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Logan_Holmes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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I'm a pretty open minded guy but I would never date a Nazi.

That's a big red flag.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/im_not_a_writer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2017
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The first woman who gave brain had an open mind.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edwinflames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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This was on my mind for a while after being a candidate for so many job openings.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pallabpain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Why are cats considered mindful when their is an open gift box nearby?

Because they always live in the present.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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That brain surgeon really opened my mind.
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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A guy goes for a drive and his car stalls...

...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.

Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.

A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.

With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, β€œThank you.”

As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...

β€œThank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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A man should always carry a knife. It can cut your food, open beer bottles, be a screwdriver, or even be used as a toothpick. It works great for cleaning your fingernails, and it's quite useful in an emergency situation

like when you have to change someone's mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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A head injury can really open your mind.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adolph_Fritz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
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r/dadjokes is recruiting moderators, join us!

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

  1. How would you describe a dad joke?
  2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
  3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

  • You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
  • You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
  • You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
  • You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
  • You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

  • You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
  • You've got some automod experience
  • You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

  • You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
  • You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Why was JFK so loved as a president?

Because he was open minded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Klarinho10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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My dad before a surgery to remove a brain tumor. It's a classic!

Dad: Will I be able to play the piano after?

Nurse: Yea of course!

Dad: Oh cool! I can't even do that right now!

Edit: Alright guys! I get it, old post! I just thought it was pretty funny considering the circumstances.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farmfarm17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2014
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Spooky

watching Scream some guy gets stabbed in the head β€œAt least he’s open minded!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdcisboss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day

He was a rather open-minded man if you ask me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/impostorbot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln,

Were truly open-minded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squatyslav
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Someone suggested I get a lobotomy

Trying to stay open minded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soccerspud88
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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That's mine pun

If you open your mind to the wind, you will be mind blown

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TopchetoEU
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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I was going to get a brain transplant

But the idea of opening up your head really changes your mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Geckta_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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My girlfriend says she might be pansexual...

Here is a screenshot. Me and my girlfriend were texting each other:

Her: One day I do want to try having sex with a girl just to see what it's like, but I think I'm just really open minded about it. Or I'm pansexual which my dad thinks I am.

Me: -I send her a picture of a frying pan- So does this turn you on? I knew you liked cooking, but I didn't know they had a word for it.

Her: I'm gonna kill you -_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J52
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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Dad Sounds

Sometimes I have to say to my friends that I'm gonna go make some dad sounds. My mind goes to throat clearing but I have to clarify to my friend that that doesn't mean opening and closing a door to go get cigarettes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/misteromorain
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Say what you want about Ben Carson as a politician, but as a person he is truly inspirational.

He really opened a lot of young minds!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IntingPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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The Sound of Monks

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave.Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."The man sa,ys, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks."In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the kno

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemofish3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
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everything is closed on thanksgiving!

First off, I'm new here. I've only been a dad for a few years but, I'm not sure i'll ever be able to top this and the circumstances of the set up were so chance and specific, I will never be able to use this again. This is what inspired me to seek you out and tell my story.

So, like most thanksgivings, we went to a relatives house and had very large but unusually early dinner. We went home and by nine or ten o'clock we had the little one off to sleep and my wife and I were getting hungry and wanted something simple. She asked for fast food and I was willing to oblige.

I drove to Taco Bell and it was closed. I called my wife, "sorry Taco Bell is closed. What do you want from BK?". I then drove to BK and discovered it was also closed. Called the wife "Sorry honey, BK is closed. What do you want from McDonald's?". You might see were this is going and, if you haven't already guessed it, Micky D's was closed too."Ok, I'm just going to the gas station. What do you want?" She asked for cheddar fries and I was willing to oblige. Got in side, no cheddar fries! I grab her funyuns. She like funyuns, it will be fine. As a joke (not the one we are leading up to) I called her on my way home and told her the gas station was closed too.

I got home, told her the truth about the gas station and gave her the back up back up back up back up back up plan bag of funyuns. She joked around about the number of times I had failed her in one outing (keep in mind, I had been giving her a hard time through this whole event) and then asked me for a soda from the fridge. So is This when the magic happened. I was opening the fridge when the gravity of the situation and what was at stake here suddenly struck me. I closed the fridge, got out a glass and filled it with water. I brought it back to her in the living room. She says "why did you bring me water?"

THE FRIDGE WAS CLOSED!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/La_Guy_Person
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2015
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Driving home: hey dad, it's kinda warm in here...

Do you mind if I crack the window?

Just open it, like a normal person.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2014
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Just caught myself saying this earlier...

I made some Coffee and I said with to myself out loud as I was getting my cup:

"Coffee! Don't mind if I brew!"

That's when I thought of the name of a Cafe I need to open.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v3n0mat3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2014
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You know they say JFK and Abraham Lincoln were the most open minded presidents
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoonicide
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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