My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?

Because they don't have pockets.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kristhebrown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
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My 6 year old daughter was listening to music with me and came up with this one: What is a bananas favorite Tom Petty song?

You Dont Know How It Peels

πŸ‘οΈŽ 248
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MemphisMayhem
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2021
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Why does a calendar last for one year only?

Because its days are numbered

πŸ‘οΈŽ 99
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2021
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What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years?

Church.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2021
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Ive been waiting for one entire year for this moment
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deep__sip
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2021
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My 5 year old got me with this one:

5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?

5yo: To get to the dummy's house.

Me:...

5yo:...

Me:...

5yo: Knock Knock.

Me: Who's there?

5yo: The chicken.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 476
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wellimnotdeadyet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
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I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, β€œWill you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?” She smiled and answered...

β€œI do!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2021
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One from my seven year old...

What’s tofu made from?

Toes, fool!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DirtyDownWinders
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2021
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My friend's 4 year old said this one: Why did the dad cross the road?

To meet the chicken.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Unikatze
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2021
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I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.

Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 90
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ben716
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2021
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Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?

... when it is full groan!

(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Row199
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
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From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?

Neither has he...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thrillhouse74
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...

"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2020
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My 5 year old came up with this one. What is a skeleton's favorite weapon?

A bone and arrow (Kid loves to play minecraft sooo... yeah)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 88
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emilytaege
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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Bit of a long one but this was 6 years ago i punned at my sister for an hour reddit.com/gallery/k2ad0t
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/adam10boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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Day one: happy new year everyone

Is it just me or does last year feel like yesterday

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pizzatron574
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
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My 7 year old just came up with this one, made me so proud

1

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FirstSineOfMadness
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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EXTREMELY proud of my 5 year old son for this uninentional one:

Son: Dad...we need a net.

Me: Why?

Son: To catch our flight.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 182
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
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There is only one way to describe this year for Donald Trump.

Unpresidented.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ccalabrese01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
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All these years it was thought that Yoda only had one name. His family name is....

Ley-dihu!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sjdiver2001
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2020
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My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?

It wears flip FLOPS!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RedditSinn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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This has been a crazy year. After everything that has happened though do you want to know the one thing that I can’t get over ?

An 8 foot wall.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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If there’s one thing I learned over the years, its this…

When your wife starts a conversation with β€œCorrect me if I’m wrong…” you just smile and agree. Don’t correct her, it’s a trap.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
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This time of year we switch out our old decorative squash for a new one -

It's the traditional changing of the gourd.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
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Not a joke: does anyone have any Dad jokes that I can use on my 5-year-old? I see maybe one joke per week on here that she would understand. Do we need a r/youngerdadjokes?

Punchline

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tippopotamus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2020
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I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. β€œYou need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,” I told her. β€œDo you mow the whole yard in one direction.”

β€œWhy?” she asked.

β€œBecause that’s what makes it beautiful.”

Oh, the eye roll on this kid.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chrisoatkins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
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My 10 year old daughter just told me this one. "What did the green grape say to the purple grape?"

"Breathe you idiot, BREATHE!"

I've never been so proud.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iwuzwhatiwuz
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2019
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My son ate too much Easter candy one year, and threw it all up making loud wailing sounds as he did so.

I didn't want to hear another Peep out of him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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My one new years resolution was to start to use my Velcro wall more.

So far I'm sticking to it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jdollard333
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.

She did not hold Up well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 309
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mortalfloater
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2020
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When my six year old son asks what one minus one is...

I say nothing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/liftthedot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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(Got this one from my 4 year old) how do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it. Never been more proud

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nhockert23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2020
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My 8 year old came up with this one, I still think about it:

Little Booger: Why are trees green?

Me: Uh, I dunno. Why?

LB: For camouflage!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LeifSized
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2020
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Do you remember hearing your first dad joke? Is there one that has stuck with you through the years?

Mine was about 20 years ago, I was 17 at the time and going to my gf’s sisters house for dinner with her family. We brought some things to help with dinner. As we’re walking up to the house carrying the cookware, her dad looks back and says, β€œhey, now that you’re walking the wok, can you talk the talk?”. Not sure why but I’ll never forget that. Still makes me chuckle to this day. What’s yours?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/malker84
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
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There's not just leap years. A leap second is a one-second adjustment that is occasionally applied to Coordinated Universal Time (UTC)! Without it, GPS wouldn't work! Want me to really blow your mind?

There's also leap-frogs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the best one.

It’s remarkable.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 342
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DGNOLA12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2020
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My 9 year old just hit me with this one

My daughter didnt know what an inside joke was. After I explained it to her, she then announces an outside joke must be "knock knock...."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shabbypenguin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2020
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Four-year-old son unknowingly got me with this one

Me: We need to put on our jackets because it's a little cold outside today.

Son after stepping outside: No Dad, it's a big cold

πŸ‘οΈŽ 214
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2020
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Hi, I'm Poseidon. Just had to share this. I'm so proud of my boy. He's already working on his Christmas cards for this year, and I walked by and noticed what he was writing in each one.

Sea son's greetings.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2020
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My 8 years old invented this one and I am proudly sharing it with you all

Dad, do you know what an olive is? A sick grape.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ppmartins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2020
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Joke my 4 year old came up with. What did one pilot say to the other?

Who’s flying this thing?!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/witcher_woman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
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Watching Rogue One with my 8 year old on Father’s Day

When Vader is force choking Orson Krennic and says, β€œDon’t choke on your ambitions.”

My son looked at my and said, β€œHa Ha! Dad joke!”

So proud.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BockBock2000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
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In an attempt to teach him shapes, I told my 2-year-old son to pick out the 3-sided shape with a 90 degree angle. He picked one...

It was the right triangle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2020
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This light in the bathroom at my office has been out for a year. Today it was finally replaced. One might say it was the β€œhighlight” of my day
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mojoson24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2020
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My 5 year old just got me with this one: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

Frostbite!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ilikecake81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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