My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
ποΈ 10k
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οΈ Mar 14 2021
My 6 year old daughter was listening to music with me and came up with this one: What is a bananas favorite Tom Petty song?
You Dont Know How It Peels
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οΈ Apr 02 2021
Why does a calendar last for one year only?
Because its days are numbered
ποΈ 99
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οΈ Mar 18 2021
What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years?
ποΈ 31
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οΈ Mar 11 2021
Ive been waiting for one entire year for this moment
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οΈ Mar 02 2021
My 5 year old got me with this one:
5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
5yo: To get to the dummy's house.
Me:...
5yo:...
Me:...
5yo: Knock Knock.
Me: Who's there?
5yo: The chicken.
ποΈ 476
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οΈ Jan 20 2021
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, βWill you still love me when Iβm old, fat, and balding?β She smiled and answered...
ποΈ 22
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οΈ Mar 27 2021
One from my seven year old...
Whatβs tofu made from?
Toes, fool!
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οΈ Mar 15 2021
My friend's 4 year old said this one: Why did the dad cross the road?
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Feb 19 2021
I have only two new years resolutions this year. One: get back to the weight I was before the accident.
Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'
ποΈ 90
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οΈ Jan 03 2021
Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?
... when it is full groan!
(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)
ποΈ 23
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οΈ Jan 22 2021
From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?
ποΈ 32
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οΈ Dec 31 2020
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
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οΈ May 06 2020
My 5 year old came up with this one. What is a skeleton's favorite weapon?
A bone and arrow (Kid loves to play minecraft sooo... yeah)
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οΈ Dec 04 2020
ποΈ 20
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οΈ Nov 27 2020
Day one: happy new year everyone
Is it just me or does last year feel like yesterday
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οΈ Jan 01 2021
My 7 year old just came up with this one, made me so proud
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οΈ Dec 22 2020
EXTREMELY proud of my 5 year old son for this uninentional one:
Son: Dad...we need a net.
Me: Why?
Son: To catch our flight.
ποΈ 182
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οΈ Oct 13 2020
There is only one way to describe this year for Donald Trump.
ποΈ 26
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οΈ Dec 27 2020
All these years it was thought that Yoda only had one name. His family name is....
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Dec 12 2020
My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Nov 30 2020
This has been a crazy year. After everything that has happened though do you want to know the one thing that I canβt get over ?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Dec 03 2020
If thereβs one thing I learned over the years, its thisβ¦
When your wife starts a conversation with βCorrect me if Iβm wrongβ¦β you just smile and agree. Donβt correct her, itβs a trap.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Dec 05 2020
This time of year we switch out our old decorative squash for a new one -
It's the traditional changing of the gourd.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Oct 16 2020
Not a joke: does anyone have any Dad jokes that I can use on my 5-year-old? I see maybe one joke per week on here that she would understand. Do we need a r/youngerdadjokes?
ποΈ 30
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οΈ Jun 01 2020
I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. βYou need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,β I told her. βDo you mow the whole yard in one direction.β
βWhy?β she asked.
βBecause thatβs what makes it beautiful.β
Oh, the eye roll on this kid.
ποΈ 17
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οΈ Sep 01 2020
My 10 year old daughter just told me this one. "What did the green grape say to the purple grape?"
"Breathe you idiot, BREATHE!"
I've never been so proud.
ποΈ 13k
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οΈ May 16 2019
My son ate too much Easter candy one year, and threw it all up making loud wailing sounds as he did so.
I didn't want to hear another Peep out of him.
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οΈ Sep 15 2020
My one new years resolution was to start to use my Velcro wall more.
So far I'm sticking to it.
ποΈ 35
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οΈ Jul 29 2020
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.
She did not hold Up well.
ποΈ 309
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οΈ Jan 14 2020
When my six year old son asks what one minus one is...
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Sep 06 2020
(Got this one from my 4 year old) how do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Never been more proud
ποΈ 40
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οΈ Jun 12 2020
My 8 year old came up with this one, I still think about it:
Little Booger: Why are trees green?
Me: Uh, I dunno. Why?
LB: For camouflage!
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Aug 11 2020
Do you remember hearing your first dad joke? Is there one that has stuck with you through the years?
Mine was about 20 years ago, I was 17 at the time and going to my gfβs sisters house for dinner with her family. We brought some things to help with dinner. As weβre walking up to the house carrying the cookware, her dad looks back and says, βhey, now that youβre walking the wok, can you talk the talk?β. Not sure why but Iβll never forget that. Still makes me chuckle to this day. Whatβs yours?
ποΈ 13
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οΈ May 26 2020
There's not just leap years. A leap second is a one-second adjustment that is occasionally applied to Coordinated Universal Time (UTC)! Without it, GPS wouldn't work! Want me to really blow your mind?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Aug 26 2020
Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the best one.
ποΈ 342
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οΈ Jan 25 2020
My 9 year old just hit me with this one
My daughter didnt know what an inside joke was. After I explained it to her, she then announces an outside joke must be "knock knock...."
ποΈ 23
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οΈ Jun 09 2020
Four-year-old son unknowingly got me with this one
Me: We need to put on our jackets because it's a little cold outside today.
Son after stepping outside: No Dad, it's a big cold
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οΈ Feb 12 2020
Hi, I'm Poseidon. Just had to share this. I'm so proud of my boy. He's already working on his Christmas cards for this year, and I walked by and noticed what he was writing in each one.
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Jul 26 2020
My 8 years old invented this one and I am proudly sharing it with you all
Dad, do you know what an olive is?
A sick grape.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Aug 04 2020
Joke my 4 year old came up with. What did one pilot say to the other?
Whoβs flying this thing?!
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Jun 24 2020
Watching Rogue One with my 8 year old on Fatherβs Day
When Vader is force choking Orson Krennic and says, βDonβt choke on your ambitions.β
My son looked at my and said, βHa Ha! Dad joke!β
So proud.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jun 22 2020
In an attempt to teach him shapes, I told my 2-year-old son to pick out the 3-sided shape with a 90 degree angle. He picked one...
It was the right triangle.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jul 26 2020
This light in the bathroom at my office has been out for a year. Today it was finally replaced. One might say it was the βhighlightβ of my day
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Feb 06 2020
My 5 year old just got me with this one: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
ποΈ 24
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οΈ Jan 02 2021
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