A little boy came running up to me and said, "Please help, my dad is in a fight!" I followed him and came across two men fighting, so I asked him, "Which one's your dad?!" He replied, "I don't know."

"That's what they're fighting about."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
🚨︎ report
As a European anti-worker idgaf about some Fox News interview no one will remember in two weeks. This is an international movement that involves hundreds of thousands of people that will not implode because someone was cringe. Have your fun for a couple days, then heads back up lads.
πŸ‘︎ 42k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-SORDID-AFFAIR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
🚨︎ report
Two people are claiming to be an expert in your field, one is and one is faking. What question do you ask to find the imposter?
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/granger853
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
🚨︎ report
Two doses of an mRNA (Pfizer-BioNTech or Moderna) vaccine or one dose of viral vector (Johnson & Johnson) COVID-19 vaccine was insufficient to produce adequate immunity to a lab-created Omicron variant, but a booster dose of an mRNA COVID-19 vaccine provided the best immune protection. medicalnewstoday.com/arti…
πŸ‘︎ 30k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MistWeaver80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
🚨︎ report
Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?

Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yomommafool
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Two carrots were crossing the road and one gets hit by a car.

The doctor says I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that your friend is alive, the bad news is he will always be a vegetable.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that is draped in bacon. β€œA bacon tree, we’re saved!” he says. He runs up to the tree and is shot up with bullets.

It wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zajneroz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2021
🚨︎ report
YSK: One large 18” pizza is larger than two 12” mediums.

Why YSK: because two mediums is typically more expensive and more crust. There’s the topping variety argument, but you can always do half and half.

Ο€ r Β² = area

[2 mediums] 3.14 x 6 Β² x 2 = 226.08

[1 large] 3.14 x 9 Β² = 254.34

It’s blowing my mind and my world is upside down.

πŸ‘︎ 24k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EsteTre
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
🚨︎ report
Two fish are sitting in a tank and one says to the other...

You drive and I'll work the gun.

It's my cake day. Thought I'd share.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luuummoooxdadwarf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Two doctors are standing at the end of two parallel piers. Which one do you go to in a medical emergency?

It’s quite the pair of docs on a pair of docks paradox.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capitanpolk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Two men walk into a bar. One man orders Hβ‚‚O. The other man says: "I'll have Hβ‚‚O, too."

The second man dies.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrisonMike266
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Two guys were robbing a liquor store. One held up a bottle and asked β€œis this whiskey”?

The other one answered β€œyes but not as wisky as wobbing a bank”

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2021
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Two fish swam into a concrete wall. One looked to the other an said…

β€œDam”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Splita84
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
There's two goldfish in a tank, and one says to the other...

Do you know how to drive this thing?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherman384
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
🚨︎ report
Playing or bullying? Two males, orange one is the younger v.redd.it/jgxiwq4es2d81
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isbkch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
Two black holes merged to form a huge one moving at incredible speeds - Astronomers have long suspected that merging black holes can give the resulting larger black hole a massive boost of speed, and have finally spotted this happening newscientist.com/article/…
πŸ‘︎ 23k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magenta_placenta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
🚨︎ report
Two cats had a swim meet. The first cat, named OneTwoThree, swam in lane one. The second cat, who went by the name UnDeuxTrois, raced in lane two. Who won?

OneTwoThree.

The Un-Deux-Trois cat sank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Somethinggood4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2021
🚨︎ report
On this day in 1996 two Turkish journalists land on the Greek islet of Imia with a helicopter, take down the Greek flag and hoist a Turkish one. The operation will be filmed and broadcast by the Turkish channel HΓΌrriyet. The Americans will intervene in order to prevent war between Greece and Turkey reddit.com/gallery/sdu9xr
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karaisim
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
🚨︎ report
[Kleiman] The #Dolphins made sure to put Flores' 24-25 record at the start of their statement, to make it seem like he's a losing coach. The truth is, he won 19-14 the past two years. His first year, he went 5-11 with a talent-less roster no one believed will be able to win a single game twitter.com/NFL_DovKleima…
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok_Antelope_5539
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
🚨︎ report
Two cats, one french one english had a race across the channel.

The english cat, known by her owners as 123 won. Because the french cat, known by his owners as an du twa, cat sank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooSketches7308
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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Two weeks notice. From one boomer to another (positive message.) v.redd.it/tyf4d186eta81
πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-Cide
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
🚨︎ report
A man on a business trip went into a singles bar, approached two women, and offered either of them two hundred dollars to spend the night with him. One girl stormed out in a rage, but the other remained cool, calm...and collected.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luckprecludes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
🚨︎ report
One of only two certified photographs of Billy the Kid (top hat). Playing cards with his accomplices. 1877 [3,581 x 2,313]
πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/94MIKE19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
🚨︎ report
"You give me one leather jacket and I invest it and give you two leather jackets"

"I don't know man, that sounds like a Fonzie scheme to me."

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nacho_Sideboob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
🚨︎ report
This seemingly fun and lively photo of two brothers - Michael and Sean McQuilken - was taken at Moro Rock in California’s Sequoia National Park on August 20, 1975. The photograph was captured by their sister Mary just seconds before they were struck by lightning. One of the brothers later recalled:
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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[Moore]: Two sources familiar with talks said at least one offer from the Sixers was Simmons and Harris for John Collins, Bogdan Bogdanovic, and three first-round picks.

> https://www.actionnetwork.com/nba/nba-trade-rumors-intel-76ers-hawks-ben-simmons-james-harden-john-collins-deadline-2022

> The Hawks have the talent but Fischer and Hoopshype reported that they’re not willing to take on Harris from the 76ers. Additionally, the Sixers’ asking price in an Atlanta deal remains too rich for the Hawks’ blood. The Sixers have consistently asked for a king’s ransom for the former All-Star, and the Hawks talks are no exception.

> Two sources familiar with talks said at least one offer from the Sixers was Simmons and Harris for John Collins, Bogdan Bogdanovic, and three first-round picks. It will not surprise you to learn the Hawks were not interested in such a framework, though their interest in Simmons is very real.

And a little later down:

> Finally, circling back to the Sixers, two sources said they felt Morey’s claim to be willing to wait the entire season on a trade is not a bluff. The going mindset around the league is that to get Simmons, a team is still going to have to β€œoverpay” for him. It’s entirely possible Simmons is still on the Sixers after the deadline.

What do you think about this offer by Philly?

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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A person who speaks two languages is bilingual and one who speaks three, is trilingual. What do you call a person who speaks only one language?

American

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Transparent_Depth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2022
🚨︎ report
How to trigger two main champion subreddits at once with only one picture
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/segments123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
🚨︎ report
How is one supposed to access the lower two pouches?
πŸ‘︎ 24k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zakusten
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2021
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πŸ‘︎ 745
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samantha-Jx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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TIL that in May 25, 2003, two men boarded an empty Boeing 727 at an airport in Angola and flew off into the sunset. The FBI and CIA conducted a massive search, but neither the men nor the plane was ever seen or heard from again. it is one of the largest aircraft ever to disappear. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/200…
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peta-chad88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
🚨︎ report
I have a habit to disassemble and clean my power tools every one or two years if they are dirty. Dry brush & air compressor on the electronics and mechanical parts, and nylon brush with warm soapy water for the plastics. How do you maintain your power tools?
πŸ‘︎ 918
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doggyboots
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
🚨︎ report
Los Angeles is one of two megacities in the world that have big cats living within the city limits
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverichly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
🚨︎ report
One bouquet or two ?
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2021
🚨︎ report
One dad reflex two kids
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironping2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
🚨︎ report
One of Nikola Jokic or Joel Embiid might not make all NBA 1st team this season due to positional restrictions. They have been arguably the two best players in the regular season for 2 years in a row. When will NBA move on from the positional locks for All NBA?

Jokic is currently averaging 26/14/7 on 57/37/79 and Embiid is averaging 28/10/4 on 49/37/82.

Both Jokic and Embiid have been top 5 players so far this season and yet, one of them will not make All NBA 1st team. Just last season, Jokic won the MVP and Joel was 2nd behind him yet Embiid failed to make the 1st team.

Throughout his career, Embiid has failed to make the 1st team all NBA despite stellar play because he plays the same position as Jokic. It's time to move on from such archaic selection methods.

Source

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MouseVP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
🚨︎ report
On April 11, 1981, Sheila Sharp stayed over at her neighbours' house for the night. When she came home the next morning, she found half her family murdered, and the other half asleep in bed. Despite there being two suspects, no one has ever been charged with the deaths that took place in Keddie, CA.

Background

In July 1979, Glenna Susan β€œSue” Sharp alongside her five children, Tina Sharp, John Sharp, Sheila Sharp, Rick Sharp, and Greg Sharp, were kicked out of their home in Connecticut by her abusive ex-navy husband, James Sharp, after splitting up. They spent the next short while moving across the country visiting family, old friends and neighbours until Sue decided to reside in California to live closer to her brother Don Davis. They rented a 1-bedroom trailer located at the Claremont Trailer Village in Quincy that Don and his wife recently vacated. In November 1980, Sue and her children moved into the much larger 3-bedroom cabin #28, located at the Sierra Nevada resort in a nearby railroad town named Keddie. At the time they moved into the cabin, Sue’s children, John, Sheila, Tina, Rick, and Greg were aged 15, 14, 12, 10, and 5 respectively, with her being 36.

Keddie was a particularly run-down location that had been in decline for the past few years, once being a highly successful resort destination that now no longer brought in the crowd it once did. Cabin #28 was much the same: old, dilapidated, and cheap. John took a small unkept room connected to the utility area in the basement downstairs, Rick and Greg shared a room near the front of the cabin, Tina and Sue shared a room near the end of the cabin. Sheila was apparently in Oregon at the time, giving birth to a child that was quickly put up for adoption. She moved in with her family in mid-February 1981 and stayed in the same room as Sue and Tina. The family had primarily been living off social welfare, food stamps, and $250 received from the Navy (due to her ex-husbands status) while she tried to study business at the CETA, a federal education program at the time. Despite all this, everyone enjoyed themselves. They had more space than their previous home, their garden was the forest, and all the children had neighbouring families with similar aged children they could interact with. Everything continued as normal for the next few months, that was until April 11, 1981.

Murders and discovery

April 11 was a typical Saturday. John and his best friend Dana Wingate (aged 17) were in the nearby town Quincy, Sheila and Tina were over at a neighbouring family’s cabin,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uistreel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
🚨︎ report
Two boys exposed to small pox in 1901, one was vaccinated & the other was not. Small Pox was eradicated in 1980.
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VerySlump
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2021
🚨︎ report
So, this randomly happened to me by placing the two games one above the other: the fact that the cover arts for KH 3 and FF XV have basically the same colors of the sky is a coincidence.....right?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fraja_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
🚨︎ report
Reporter: β€œYou played Nikola Jokic the other night, Joel Embiid tonight. What are some of the differences?” Ty Lue: β€œOne had 50 & one had 49 [the other night] so the difference is one point... Two best centers in the NBA. They can do it on the perimeter, in the post.” streamable.com/rlmrkt
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyCarbonneauGOAT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
To use my nearest Tesco I have to drive 7 miles into Swindon so understandably I never use Tescos but found myself in one yesterday when visiting my family in Wales. What is going on with the two tier pricing? I can easily get a Clubcard but fuck Tesco for forcing me to do that.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crikcet37
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you are using Google Mail, you are provided two unique mail addresses by using either '@googlemail.com' or '@gmail.com' which allows you to create two different accounts for a service with just one address.

I use this i.e. for gaming. Usually I would use an alternative mail account but then I randomly found this out and felt like sharing. Is this commonly known?

πŸ‘︎ 44k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unsalle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Can you imagine this notification for all those leavers who do not even wait to give up and leave the match? Sometimes I have had to win with one or two less teammates :(
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/azskalt97
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
🚨︎ report
TIL that in February 18, 1952 a huge storm hit New England, generating huge waves and two 500-foot tankers were broken in half by the heavy seas, against all odds a small Coast Guard lifeboat piloted by a man named Bernie Webber single handedly rescued 32 of the 33 men stranded in one of the tankers neh.gov/humanities/2017/s…
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JournalistSociety
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
🚨︎ report
Animation and fallout of the 2009 Iridium 33 and Kosmos 2251 collision. The only time two full size satellites has collided with one another. v.redd.it/a9k4ru3kyzc81
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimi15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
One of the three Roman pools of Gafsa, in Tunisia, two of which are open. Built in the 2nd century BCE, they are about five meters deep and are fed by hot water springs [683x1024]
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuckoff555
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
🚨︎ report
I played 20 games and I won one, this is the worst mission I ever had to complete in these last two years of playing this game
πŸ‘︎ 409
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmealex2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
🚨︎ report
I think it's pretty badass.. fiance and I were fishing off a pier & two guys pulled in, started talking, & they said they "hunt sharks teeth"... Then they pull out this megalodon tooth 😬😳 this is just one of the 8 they found that day - this wasnt even the largest they have found! Beaufort, SC. reddit.com/gallery/s9cy2b
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randilion8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
Let's do this for the last time this year . The Game is Simple: Name Two of your Favourite Books in the comments and get the Third one Recommended.

Sort by New and reply to those who saw this post late

πŸ‘︎ 987
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DellJi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2021
🚨︎ report
The largest player in college basketball, the 360-pound Conor Williams of St. John Fisher drops two assistsβ€”one after rolling his ankle and getting back up v.redd.it/ny90b6b34r681
πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Have-Four-Balls
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2021
🚨︎ report

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