Today, on the news, there was an incident in my town where a city bus lost control and landed on top of a house. No one was killed and the city is paying all passengers.

I guess you can say the bus ride was on the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamlet_71
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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The folks who live in my town aren’t allowed to be buried in the old cemetery on the edge of town.

Mostly because they’re not dead yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Panthropoly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaBear1718
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I was in town earlier on looking for some fly killer. I picked up a can and asked the young store assistant "Excuse me, is this any good for wasps?"

"No" he said, "It kills them"

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I work with a small town search and rescue. We recently had a guy visiting from the big city to do some kayaking on the river.

He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.

The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.

He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islander399
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Did you hear the supermarket took its entire breakfast aisle, put it on a truck, and started giving items out all over town?

They call it the Universal Cereal Bus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamHR
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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A pod of porpoises moved into the harbor near my town. So, me and my friends decided to go camping on the beach to check it out. We brought beer for us and some raw fish to feed the pod. Everybody had a great time. You could say it was a party

for all in tents and porpoises.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackFunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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I heard on the news there was a guy in town stealing the wheels off police cars

The cops are working tirelessly to catch him (Got it from r/memes)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/12thNazgul
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Why did the father take the computer out for a night on the town?

Because motherboard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Found on my math homework. Don’t know if this counts as a pun (the town of Notreal)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/night-star
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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The sporting goods store in my town has a sale on canoes

It’s a big oar deal!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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On a family holiday to Bruges, we decided to walk to the nearby town of Damme. En route, my Dad said to my sister "your hair looks sort of OK today"

He then explained "to Damme with faint praise"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VWXYNot42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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What does a cave always wear before a night out on the town?

Stalagtights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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Two peanuts walk into a bar on the wrong side of town.

One of them was a salted!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Helpmeplsgdit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabagaba62
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

No it was with a knife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grandcanyon19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iaxeuanswerme
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roblter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abhilegend
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepattato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markrulez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/virulentt_music
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isthisgood12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife...
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanka007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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