I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....

When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yltercesksumnolE
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife said she saw a deer on the way to work today.

I said, that can't be true, deer don't work.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I got lost on my way to the store because I was...
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

Me: β€œHow do you know it was going to school?”

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
On the way to the therapist, I told my wife, β€œYou are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, aren’t you?”

She said, β€œYeah.”

I said, β€œI knew it!”

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Me and my Dad were in a car on our way to go hunting and saw a sign....

It said bear left, so we went home.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomesox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together

We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Made this a while ago when I had way too much time on my hands
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kimothy92
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?

Everybody

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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A bug hit my windshield on the way to work this morning

I said β€œI bet you don’t have the guts to do that again”

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTombstoneswe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife gave birth to our son in our car on the way to the hospital

I named him Carson

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaBear1718
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!

>!Everybody!<

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keratoconusgroup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I called my wife and told her I'd pick up pizza and coke on my way back home from work, but she's not happy.

She still regrets letting me name the twins.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.

But atleast she has a smoothie

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnotherKakkar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Phoned my wife and said, "Unbelievable...on the way to the bowling alley my tyre went flat."

"Have you got a spare?" she questioned.

"Honey," I sighed, "I'm not at the bowling alley yet."

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I was passed by a truck full of donkeys on my way home

It was really hauling ass

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurGeorge8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
So I walked into my daughter's room with a tape measure the other day, and she was lying on her bed reading a book. I stood in the doorway and started slowly extending the tape measure, all the way across the room, until it touched her cheek. "What??" she asked me. My response...

"I'm measuring your patience!"

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Piccolo_Bass
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend was pregnant and had the baby in car on her way to the hospital

her husband named him "Carson"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I locked my door on the way in, but when I looked back, it was slightly ajar
πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diascamara
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I stumbled/fell on my way up the stairs today.

Girlfriends reaction "OMG did you hurt yourself?"

"No, but I felt the gravity of the situation"

Her response was attempted murder by trying to push me down the stairs

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitno
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I stopped at the bakery on my way to the park to feed the pigeons and a couple of them died!

I killed two birds with one scone.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was on my way to work this morning and I forgot how to put my seat belt on.

After awhile, it clicked

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepOnEm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...

He spilled the beans!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend, my dog and I went hiking today and on the way up the mountain there was a big bee buzzing around my head.

So I said β€œBee-gone” and my girlfriend shook her head. Best feeling ever.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I called my wife and asked her if I should pick up Fish and chips on the way home from work and she hung up.....

She's still angry she let me name the kids

πŸ‘︎ 410
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Every morning on my way to work, the same bike comes and tries to run me over.

It’s a vicious cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my dad carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, β€œWhat are you going to do with it?”

He said, β€œLet’s cross that fridge when we get there.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Noticed this on my way home.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pinkfluffiess
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm on my way

My wife is 37 weeks pregnant and is scheduled to be induced this morning. She woke up last night just after midnight (I checked) to use the washroom and when she got back into bed I asked her if it was after 12 yet. She said she thought so and asked why. I told her I wanted to be the first to wish her a Happy Birth Day! She appropriately groaned then giggled, so I think I'm ready. Wish me luck!

Edit: We got him a couple hours ago! Everything went well, no complications. Thanks reddit strangers for the comments and well wishes. I know the rules say nothing identifying, 'oh when' ever they change that I'll post his name. Goodnight everyone, I have to try and nap before his feeding

πŸ‘︎ 234
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AspiringBuddhist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Just got a delayed grin from my son on the way back to our hunting spot.

Son: Wow that stream is really rush'en.

Me: oh good that is so much better than German.

I just had to pick a country real quick not trying to make any statement....

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheepery
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My dumb way of greeting my little brother on his 20th birthday imgur.com/2hliHeR
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pr0crasturbatin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I called my wife and told her that I’ll pick up Fish and Chips on the way from work. She didn’t respond.

She is still mad about the names I gave our kids.

πŸ‘︎ 580
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Every morning on my way to work, I slip on the frozen newspaper on our front porch.

I’m fallen on some hard Times.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

Me: β€œHow do you know it was going to school?”

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed...

Everybody

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/typpo_06
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed

Everybody.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabagaba62
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife recently gave birth on the way to the hospital.

We named him Carson.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/worldstarguy69
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

No it was with a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grandcanyon19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed

Everybody.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My Second son was born in the car on the way to the hospital.

We named him Carson

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeorgeDubyahKush
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iaxeuanswerme
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I called my wife and told her that I'll pick up pizza and coke on the way back from work. But it seems she was not happy.

She still regrets letting me name the kids.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avigyan_33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roblter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed

Everybody.

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/washcapsfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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