I made some ideas into images to put on to phone cases. This is my favourite - Get Off Your High Horse
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︎ Mar 20 2021
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, βDad get out of the way!β
I said, βYouβre the ones blocking!β
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︎ Jun 27 2020
What do you call a duck that's high on drugs
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Thought yβall might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school π
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︎ Dec 20 2020
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
What did Baby Yoda say the first time he watched The Mandalorian on a high-def screen?
Not HDMI, because Baby Yoda can't speak.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I had a girlfriend in high school that I dumped when I found out she was missing a toe on her left foot...
I guess that makes me lack-toes intolerant.
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︎ Oct 11 2020
For my next performance I will sort out my checking account while on a high wire
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︎ Jun 28 2020
My wife asked, βHoney, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? Itβs too high for me.β
It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
What do frogs get high on?
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︎ Jun 30 2020
My girlfriend drew her eyebrows on too high
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︎ Jul 25 2020
I saw a radio on sale for only a dollar. Only catch was the volume was stuck on high.
I realized, I canβt turn this down.
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︎ Aug 13 2020
What do fish get high on?
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︎ Feb 20 2020
My high school bully once drew a zero on my face with a magic marker
He really did a number on me
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︎ Jun 29 2020
I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.
"It's not our fault" said the librarian,
"That's the one" I replied.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows on too high the other day,
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︎ May 20 2018
On which type of bus does everybody get high?
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︎ Feb 14 2020
Must have been high on coke.
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︎ Sep 15 2019
Teaching cows to walk on a tightrope is a high-stakes game.
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︎ Jul 05 2019
I was never able to ask my crush out on high school because I was math nerd
I guess I was 2Β² to ask her out
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︎ Nov 04 2019
When I was in high school, our prank was to release pigs with 1,3 and 5 painted on them.
After looking for 2 and 4 like crazy they thought...... That's odd
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︎ Aug 14 2019
I wish I was high on pot-enuse
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︎ Apr 15 2019
What does a duck get high on?
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︎ Jul 16 2019
What do birds get high on?
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︎ Aug 16 2019
I told my friend she had drawn her eyebrows on too high...
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︎ Jul 31 2019
[On a date] Her: So, what were you like in high school?
Me: You know thereβs always a guy who drives a fancy car and has sex with all the cheerleaders?
Her: Yeah?
Me: Iβm the guy who taught him calculus.
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︎ May 22 2019
Playing poker with cows on drugs is playing with high steaks.
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︎ May 31 2019
I saw an ad on Craigslist for a free radio. The only thing wrong with it was that the volume knob was stuck on high.
I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down."
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︎ Jan 03 2019
My wife and I were arguing on an airplane. She was trying to convince me to join the mile high club...
I told her,
"I'm sorry, but I don't give a flying fuck."
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︎ Jul 19 2019
What do you call a rodent high on life?
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︎ Jul 24 2019
I told my girlfriend she'd drawn her eyebrows on too high.
She didn't say anything, but she looked very surprised.
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︎ May 17 2019
While my wife and I were dating in high school we were at this church lock in. I said, βCanβt wait till we get outta here and I can plant one on yaβ she said, βWhat kinda flowerβ
No hesitation I say, βTulipsβ
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︎ Jun 28 2019
I'm a man who likes to drive with high heels on...
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︎ Apr 27 2018
What do Pirates get high on?
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Whenever I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments of my high school days come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
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︎ Jan 12 2019
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows on too high.
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︎ Jun 18 2019
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from my high school keep flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
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︎ Dec 08 2019
Told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows on too high
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︎ Oct 21 2016
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
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︎ Jun 11 2019
Told my gf she was drawing her eyebrows too high on her forehead...
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︎ Jun 22 2019
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all my embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldnβt have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
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︎ Nov 24 2018
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