I dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It was painful to-ma-toes.
I was on a cruise once when we docked in this strange town named after part of a guy's foot, and all the locals kept using words like brunch, spork, and labradoodle.
I think it was called Port Mantoe.
I broke my tiny dinner plates and they left a big gash on my foot
My platelets were everywhere
Happens when you’re fixing a flat tire and the car fall on your foot?
I just dropped a heavy box of berries on my foot
What has five toes but is not on your foot?
On my last day at the football club, everyone in the team wrote a drunken message for me on an 10-foot tall red card.
My friend was changing a flat tire when he dropped the car on his foot.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Dropped a tub of margarine on my foot last month and it still hurts...
I can't believe it's not better.
I dropped a whole tub of margarine on my foot weeks ago…
…I can’t believe it’s not better
I traveled all the way from Florida to London only to break my foot from a fall on the second day.
Luckily a meter doctor was available to treat me.
I got a cut on the back of my foot
One day when I was still young my dad came inside hoping with poop on his foot. He screamed at me where did this come from?
I said 'Beats the shit out of me! and he almost did.
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
A foreman had noticed one of his workers would stand on one foot to eat candy, chips, and other junk food he brought. The foreman finally got curious and asked why.
"It's because..." said the employee "my doctor always asks if I'm eating well balanced meals."
An audio engineer dropped a subwoofer on his foot today
Starting off on the right foot...
If you had a business that specialized in lower limb prosthesetics, could you call it a "faux toe shop"?
a Scottish soldier who lost a digit on his foot when he stepped on a mine was asked what military organisation was protecting him.
I've got NATO he replied.
Yesterday my foot got stuck on my wife’s bra
I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long fence pole. He hates it.
It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.
Dad's foot appears through the ceiling whilst I am on the sofa...
https://preview.redd.it/x30vdk22krt71.jpg?width=1634&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=374493f5b1b68c92c39e6f7a57e38ed8fe4a1817
Someone once parked their car on my dad's foot.
He had to call to get it toed.
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
When your sister steps on your foot, what do you say?
what did the cell say when it’s sister stepped on it’s foot
True story: at the poolside last night, a bee briefly landed on my 11yo daughter's foot. She looked down and said "Awww, we shall name him....
Toby"
(I could not be more proud of her, the other dads present were jealously impressed)
My wife has one callus on her foot
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot
A cell steps on her sister's foot
Did you hear about the soldier who lost one foot in a battle, and fought on, only to lose his other foot as well?
I dropped a hot fudge sundae on my foot
I just dropped a heavy box of berries on my foot smh.
I just dropped a heavy box of berries on my foot.
I just dropped a heavy box of berries on my foot. SMH...
I dropped a box of blueberries on my foot
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....
I can't believe it's not better.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
I dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot....
It caused severe pain to-ma-toes.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long pole. He hates it.
It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I can’t believe it’s not better.
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
What did the cell say when it’s sister stepped on it’s foot
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