I was on a roll with this post.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salmonella-fella
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
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A pirate walked into a bar with a roll of paper towels on his head...

So, I asked him: What’s up with the paper towels?

The Pirate said: Aarrr, I have a Bounty on my head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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I was on a roll when I made this
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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My friend was having such a great day; she was on a roll.

I didn’t know she could fit on one!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loowhooshoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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A pirate walks into a bar with a roll of paper towel on his head....

Bartender asks what that's all about.

Pirate says "arrrrrgh, I have a bounty on me head"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonemonkey12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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I bought a roll on deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"...

I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Just got an epic eye roll for this: My son was showing me his school work from math, where he was learning fractions. I pointed to where he wrote his name on a line at the top and asked what that fraction was.

I told him it should be {Sons Name} / Mommy. Since he came from her. Then I said he could reduce that fraction further since he came from his mommy, that fraction would equal....

One Whole

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Soter_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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I made a meme on r/golf. It slow rolls a dadjoke. Please enjoy.

Link to post

Please know the scorecard isn't mine. I shamelessly stole that from google search.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Purdueblue17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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I am on a roll, I mean what are circles...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSigmaNut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I was on a roll yesterday
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorinGetorix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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Tried this on daddit and it was not well received, got a hard eye roll and a giggle from my daughter, am I doing this right? I need some help with my leeky bowl.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theaut0maticman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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I’m on a roll here with all these puns guys
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakerabbit25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Two mice were chewing on a film roll.

One of them says, β€œI think the book was better.”

Credit: Tiny Tower Bitbook

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maybejaeby
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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My chat full of childless Dad's were on a roll
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wronkey360
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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I was on a roll last night.

My family was having a burger night and I improvised some groaners:

Q - How does it sound when your cousin drives an ambulance?
A - Neeeenaaaaa-neeeeenaaaaa! (There is a cousin called Nina)
Q - How do you know when your cousin is coming to visit?
A - they ring the Issa-belle! (Yip, you guessed it there is a cousin called Issabelle)

Q - What does a dinosaur say to offer you a hot drink?
A - Would you like some tea, Rex? (Hate to over explain and ruin the joke but just in case - Rex )

Then during bathtime:

Q - When a crab goes to jail where do they lock him up?
A - A jail shell. (there was a decorative jar of shells there which I used as a muse for this piece)

Q - How does a daddy cow clean himself at night?
A - In a bub-bull bath. (Just came to me)

Q - What does an astronaut use in the bath?
A - A space cloth. (this one didn't really land but I stand by it)

Q - What do you use to wash your hair in the toilet?
A - Sham-poo (low hanging fruit but this one absolutely killed)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dat_asthma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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My Uncle has been on a roll with Halloween dad jokes...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jojo9591
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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On the dad joke scale, I got my first ever eye-roll and sharp exhale WITH a walk out of the room from my wife!

Me: Today was an awful day at work

Wife: Are you serious? Tell me about it

Me: I’m not Sirius, I’m your husband. And Itt was a short, hirsute creature who looked short of like a haystack with sunglasses; he was Gomez’s cousin and spoke in high pitched gibberish all the time. Now if we could get back to my day...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Our butter is on a roll
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colonel__Tigh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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Coworker said to me "You're on a roll today"

I looked and her and said "wait till tomorrow, I'll be on a bagel".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tweke
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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I must be butter because im on a roll
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LongShlongShivers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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A man filling his car with gas, got some gas on his arm. He got in his car and lit a cigarette lighting his arm on fire. He flails around and other patrons help him put it out, just then 2 cops roll up...

They arrest him for waving a fire arm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormtrooper-85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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My baker friend made the largest baked good in the world, and stood on top of it for the picture... he was on a roll.

I was actually going to post a chemistry joke, but I was afraid I wouldn't get a reaction...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IbraheemLinkin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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I'm on a roll
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImGaiza
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2017
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Dracula is walking down a street in Transylvania when suddenly tons of sandwiches, mini sausage rolls, crisps, chicken wings and cocktail sausages fall on him...

Buried under all this food, his dying words were, "Oh no, it's Buffet the Vampire Slayer!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
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Jim, you're on a roll! youtu.be/hVfvQ1mhTsE
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samsterdam19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2017
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I was on a roll today

Now there’s butter on my shoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepe_the_weed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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*Tells 3-4 dad jokes. Follows up with:* You can just start calling me butter... cause I’m on a roll!!
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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Boyfriend was on a roll with the dad jokes today.

He was going through my box of strange things and had some interesting commentary.

Found an owl ring, asked, "Do people ever ask who gave it to you?"

Saw that my butterfly necklace was broken, asked, "Does that bug you?"

Was giving me tic tacs out of a container, gave me four and I said I only wanted two. "Sorry guys, guess it just wasn't mint to be."

He chuckled at himself for awhile after these.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suckish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2014
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Dad was on a roll this Christmas

The first joke was while we were watching tv and a commercial for the new show Atlantis came on, and dad said, "I hear that show is already under water."

The second was when we all got our stockings. Mom had given us scented pencils, and dad said, "You know what those are for right? It's so your writing doesn't stink"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HortensePJ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2013
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Dad's on a Roll Tonight

http://imgur.com/z6ZK0pq "Not the heavy petting zoo!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freyiik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2015
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I was on a dad joke roll today.

This morning at breakfast my SO asked me how I eat my oatmeal. My response was "With my mouth." And at the bank a little later the teller asked how I wanted my cash back. I said "In my hands." ba dum tss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonaked
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2013
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Whenever I say "I'm on a roll!"

My dad always follows up by asking "White or wheat?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lammnub
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2013
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My dad was on a roll at the Christmas parade last night
  1. Troupe of mimes starts a performance, turns to me: "Quiet! I wanna hear this!"
  2. Drum line guys walking around afterwards: "Why don't you take your drum and beat it!"
  3. Local art store named O'Dunn's: "Have you finished the painting yet? Are you o' dunn?"

All I could do was laugh and roll my eyes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SBDD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2013
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.

He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used it to roll his joint.

He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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Dad was really on a roll tonight.

http://imgur.com/s4MhnO1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crayish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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