What do you call a dog that digs for old remains?
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west and says...
"I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw"
My dog is getting really moody in her old age...
I think she's going through Menopaws.
I finally figured out where the dog puts all its old bones
They're kept in the bark-ives.
From my 8 year old daughter... "Why did the Dog cross the street?"
To get to the barking lot.
When our old family dog finally died we had to rearrange the kids chores.
Dad: Easy! Whoever used to forget to feed the dog now has to forget to unload the dishwasher.
A small dog falls into a freezing lake and an old lady screams for help
A German tourist was passing by, jumped into the water and saved the dog. Then they deliver the dog to her and say "the dog gonna be all right now".
The old lady asks, confused "are you a vet?"
the German tourist then reply, angrily "vet? i'm soaked"
My old dog has a hard time jumping up on the couch nowadays.
I think he has arf-ritis.
From my eight year old: What did the dog say to the tree?
There’s two old men sitting on their front porch when a dog comes up and starts licking it’s junk
One of the old men goes, man I wish I could do that.
The other says, you can’t do that. That dog’ll bite you.
My son asked me why our old dog was "walking like that".
She has arffritis.
*wife snorts from the kitchen.
Got a second dog today, our old dog showed him who's boss...
But I think our new sub-woofer will be happy in our family.
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?
Because it's a little rough
What did the dog say when he threw his old chew toy away?
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
When the old man gives a dog a bone...
Remember, you can't teach an old dog new tricks
But you can teach old people dog tricks.
(12 year old) Daughter: "The dog has a piece of confetti stuck to his butt."
Me: "That's because he's a party pooper!"
I was walking my dog this morning when I saw a rock help an old lady cross the street
Courtesy of my 8 year old, "What did the cat say to the dog?"
What do you call a dog after he turns 13 years old?
A K19!
As a non-native speaker I was kinda proud when I came up with this one.
A man posts an old joke about dog zoos.
It was a shitzu dog joke.
I went with my father to take our old dog to the vet...
...They didn't let me in but I could hear parts of the conversation behind the door.
Apparently our old dog is going to be given to Youth in Asia.
My 6 year old daughter asks me, "what kind of dog is that?"
"I don't know. "
"It's an 'I don't know' dog?"
I'm so proud.
Dog limps into an Old West saloon
Barkeep: "Can I help you, stranger?"
Dog: "I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw"
A three-legged dog walks into an old west saloon
and says, "I don't want no trouble, I'm jus' lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
What’s similar between an old tree and an old dog?
They both have an aged bark.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces:
"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
There's two old men and a dog sitting on a porch.......
The dog starts licking his nuts. One man says, "I sure wish I could do that". The other man replies, "That dog will bite you".
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