New Years Dad Puns

Dad loves jokes, though, so it's not gonna be easy

I'm done. I'm not even going to attempt a new joke until next year.

I haven’t seen you since last gyro!

Looks at watch, I can't believe it's 20:16 already!

Dad: I think I’m gonna stick with 4K.

He looked at me and said "1080p"

Mom: "Alright so let's go around saying our New Years Resolutions."

Dad: "1080p"

There was a man His name was Lang He had a neon sign Because this man was very old They called it Old Lang's sign.

So we're going to relatives for new years and I ask how long we're staying, and my dad says... "till next year".

A few of the new trainees approached me at work today and told me how part of their (and probably every other American's) New Years Resolutions were to get in better shape. They proceeded to ask me if I knew any gyms in the area.

Naturally I responded, "No, but I know a few James's"

Groaning ensued.

"She partied too hard last night" http://i.imgur.com/3ZMRVFq.jpg

I set my New Years Resolution to lose 10 pounds, and I've only got 15 pounds to go!

She goes in for the New Year's kiss.

"Wow I don't usually kiss on the first date, but OK!" I get a minor groan.

After the kiss, "Wow that was totally worth it, that was the best kiss I've had all year!"

she pushes me away and we watch the rest of the fireworks in silence. Totally worth it.

Someone else: "So what are you doing now that you're graduated?" Girl in hot tub: "I work in beer up in Portland." Me: "Do you ever come up for air?"

Nobody got it. I fear my jokes will only be funny once I reproduce.

No more, no less

it's 1920x1080