Being the new guy can suck
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︎ Jan 25 2021
What did the new car sales guy say when the customer asked about the cargo space?
βNo. No. This car go road.β
(saw a meme with this awhile back. Gets me every time)
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Have you guys checked the news today?
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︎ Feb 17 2021
You guys hear about the new rock band that has 4 men but donβt sing?
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︎ Feb 06 2021
A guy brings his friend to see his new lake house. When they get there, they see a goose on the front steps.
The friend says "hey, is he yours?"
The guy replies "yep, kept him after I found him alone by the lake. He can't communicate with any of the other birds."
His friend looked confused. "Is he mute?"
"No. I think he speaks porch geese."
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︎ Jan 21 2021
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks βWhat are you counting?β
And the guy says βhow many tattoos I have nowβ
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Did you guys hear about the new element that was created (Ah)
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Two French IT guys have come up with a new system to share files electronically.
Itβs a Pierre to Pierre network.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Did you guys hear about the new Space Jam sequel where Marvin the Martian joins the Monstars, scores all of their points and they win it all?
You should check it out, itβs a really good Martian Scoresβeasy film
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︎ Dec 19 2020
New clients will flock to these guys
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︎ Oct 05 2020
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Did you hear that the Indian restaurant hired a new delivery guy?
Heβs a top-notch curry-er.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Did you hear about the new Halloween movie where the guy screams his lungs out?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Have you seen that new Chinese/Mediterranean restaurant started by that guy from Cairo?
It's called Wok like an Egyptian.
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︎ Aug 12 2020
Have you guys heard that new rumor going around about butter...?
no...? Well I don't think I should be spreading it...
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︎ Jun 30 2020
A guy walked into a bar in New Orleans and ordered a Corona Extra and two Hurricanes.
The bartender said "that'll be $20.20"
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Hey guys! I invented a new word!
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Have you guys heard about those new corduroy pillowcases in the news?
I'm sure you have, they're really making head lines.
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Guy has new tenants!
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︎ Aug 15 2019
Have you heard about the new craze where guys bedazzle their testicles?
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︎ Feb 16 2020
Did you hear about the guy who couldn't stop coughing when he went to try his new suit?
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︎ May 26 2020
A guy was watching the news and saw that a famous celebrity had died. He called his friend to let him know.
Jim: Did you hear that Reece Whats-her-name died while eating a bowl of soup?
Joe: No way! Witherspoon???
Jim: Yes, of course.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
I bought a brand-new top-of-the-line string trimmer of a guy on craigslist for only $20
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︎ May 30 2020
I heard on the news that some guy was stealing wheels off police cars.
The police are working tirelessly to catch him.
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︎ Sep 30 2019
Me and some other guys like to get together at the local supermarket to show off our rare breed black-feathered chickens. New guy today mustn't have understood because...
There was an unexpected white hen in the bragging area
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︎ May 11 2020
Hey guys, I just tested out my new sledgehammer!
Letβs just say the experience was groundbreaking.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
A guy wakes up from surgery. "How'd it go, Doc?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that we amputated the wrong leg...
The good news is that your other leg is all better."
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︎ May 12 2020
I once new a guy that used to do circumcisions
He told me, βThe money isnβt great, but I get to keep the tipsβ
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︎ Jan 01 2020
We have a new design! What do you guys think about it?
Hey, since we (the new mods) joined the sub 1,5 months ago we've made some changes, mostly with the rules and some backend stuff. Now I also updated the icon (slightly) and the banner (on redesign and mobile), too.
What do you guys think about it?
Do you like it? ( Yes/No ). What could be improved about it?
Also, are you happy with how we're moderating the subreddit? Are we too strict with the rules or toulouse too loose? Do the rules even make sense?
We want to improve this subreddit and we need your feedback for that, so feel free to speak your mind!
You can either simply leave a comment down here in the thread or send us a message.
Looking forward to your feedback and have a nice day! :)
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︎ Dec 12 2019
You guys heard about the new dinosaur specie with no eyes?
Scientists name them Idontthinktheysaurus
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︎ Mar 14 2020
Ok guys. Time to rally together to help a fellow new dad out. Iβm MCing a wedding and need the worst of the worst wedding themed dad jokes you have to offer.
Sorry Iβm advance if this isnβt allowed.
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Guy Ritches started on a new film about a killer virus...
Lock doors, stockpile and two runny nostrils
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︎ Mar 15 2020
Did you guys hear of the new documentary about perforated paper?
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︎ Nov 08 2019
Did you guys see the new Adventures of Tin Tin movie? His soul gets removed from his body and put into an industrial drum fan.
I'd rate it tin out of tin. Big fan
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︎ May 23 2019
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︎ Feb 02 2020
βIβm afraid I have some very bad news,β the doctor says to this guy. βYouβre dying, and you donβt have much time left.β βOh, thatβs terrible!β says the man. βGive it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?β βTenβ¦β the doctor says slowly.
βNine... eightβ¦ seven...β
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︎ Sep 16 2019
What do you call a really hairy guy who is new to the army
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︎ Jul 18 2018
Guys I have news
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︎ Aug 10 2019
I'm in the middle of developing a new game. This guy came to life today and I just love his character so much!
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︎ Jan 30 2019
Did you guys hear about the new shovel?
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︎ May 27 2019
Guys, I got a new Apple Watch for Christmas!
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︎ Dec 27 2018
*after the train had had trouble stopping in the right spot for multiple consecutive stops* Mom: I guess the guy driving is new.
Dad: Maybe he's a trainee.
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︎ Aug 21 2019
Did you guys hear about the new cemetery in town?
People are just dying to get in there
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︎ May 03 2019
Did you guys hear the news an ape opened a tanning salon in Bangkok I know heard he named it βA Range Of Tansβ
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︎ Aug 17 2019
Have you guys tried this new "Vajazzle for Dads" kit?
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︎ Jul 25 2019
Help me guys! I tried to film a cake being baked, with my new camera, but when I turned on the oven, it broke
I swear that it said the camera could record in 360 degrees, on the box
Edit: corrected a typo
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︎ Dec 04 2018
Guys I just made up a new word!
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︎ Jul 19 2020
Have you guys heard about these new corduroy pillowcases?
They're really making headlines!
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︎ Dec 13 2019
I heard on the news there was a guy in town stealing the wheels off police cars
The cops are working tirelessly to catch him
(Got it from r/memes)
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︎ Oct 02 2019
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