I think it’s called “all the jingle ladies”
It's all about Jake Sully becoming a Na'Vi Dad.
A Point-Settier!
No, I'm putting it in the living room.
He comes across a nativity scene with animals, Mary, Joseph, Jesus and the three wise men wearing firemen's suits and helmets, carrying axes and holding a hose.
The confused guy knocks on the homeowner's door and says "that's a great nativity scene but what's up with the wise men?"
"Whatta ya mean?" the homeowner asks in a deep South voice.
"Why are they all in firemen's outfits? It makes no sense," the New Yorker answers.
The homeowner says "It's in the bible, the nativity story."
"I don't think so," the New York man replies.
The homeowner runs in the house, comes back with her bible, turns to Matthew 12 and says "See yer wrong. It's right dere on the first line - "the wise men came from afar."
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
I've got a hole in this one
You put the cartridge in a pear tree.
And exchanged it for a new one free of charge
and she was so distracted by how well it worked she that opened one can too many. I looked at her and replied “you were too busy thinking about the can opener, not enough time thinking if you SHOULD opener.”
I can’t help but get a little sappy.
It’s given me a real buzz
Yeah, clogs
Because his had a crack in it.
For them, hindsight is 2020
It's the little things that count!
But I don’t want to sugar coat it.
I shall call it the "Holy Infant" because it will be tender and mild.
I'd like to have the time off between New Year and Christmas.
But it really sucks.
They fit like a glove.
All the pop-up ads.
Wife gets up this morning, and asks me if I'm hungry, I respond with: Hungry? I'm starving! I haven't eaten all year!
I had to tell him to call a Spode a Spode.
Fleece navidad!
He sat me down the other day and asked why a watch?
“I guess it’s just been something to pass the time”
And on the way back, my son and I tortillaed through three bags of family size Doritos.
We would have pointed fingers at one another, but they were already in our mouths. Sucky situation, I know.
I turned the car around and said, "Son, now our mission is snackfued."
Salty from our spell of bad luck, we licked our lips and hightailed it back to Walgreens. I sent a MSG to my wife to tell her about the crunch we were in.
Many of our guests had already arrived when we finally returned, holding up our carb-earned trophies.
It was then that my son's friend complimented our modest country estate: "Cool Ranch!"
http://imgur.com/a/GPyVq
http://i.imgur.com/Cm3pOai.jpg
He was trying to figure out how to use the timer on it to take a selfie with us and my sister was covering her face. When asked why she said it's because she's ugly today.
My dad said "obviously, because it's breaking my camera!"
"... but your birthday is only once a year."
My dad must have said that a thousand times. And now that I'm a dad myself, I find myself saying it... I can't help it. It's my duty (apparently).
I returned it for a new one, free of charge
I exchanged it for a new one, free of charge
