Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 02 2022
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Jan 11 2022
What is a a bisexual person doing when theyβre not dating anybody?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jan 12 2022
Geddit? No? Only me?
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Dec 28 2021
I wanna hear your best airplane puns.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
E or Γ?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 03 2022
No spoilers
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 06 2022
Covid problems
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jan 12 2022
These aren't dad jokes...
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Dec 15 2021
Spi__
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 11 2022
What did 0 say to 8 ?
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 03 2022
I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.
I won't be doing that today!
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Dec 27 2021
The Ancient Romans II
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Dec 29 2021
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?
You take away their little brooms
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
School Was Clothed
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Jan 01 2022
It this sub dead?
There hasn't been a post all year!
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jan 01 2022
I had a vasectomy because I didnβt want any kids.
When I got home, they were still there.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 13 2022
Baka!
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
Couch potato
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 31 2021
concrete πΏ
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Dec 25 2021
Why are people so surprised and angry about Djokovic being an anti-vaxxer?
After all his first name is No-vac
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 06 2022
If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
Thatβs Michelle
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
Is this sub still active?
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 31 2021
is Isn't
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 11 2022
@u/mordrathe - remix
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 12 2022
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hot tub?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 05 2022
I named my dog "5 miles."
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! π Thank you for the awards.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
My WIFI password is 2444666668888888
Just to clarify, 12345678
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 03 2022
Possibly the greatest Snap Reaction dad joke I've ever told (it even got me a POWERFUL groan and vehement FU from my wife)
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!"
Her: "What the hell does that mean?!"
Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician...
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 05 2022
Guns
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
The two genders
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 27 2021
If βwombβ is pronounced βwoomβ and βtombβ is pronounced βtoomβ then shouldnβt βbombβ be pronouncedβ¦
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 24 2021
A little boy came running up to me and said, "Please help, my dad is in a fight!" I followed him and came across two men fighting, so I asked him, "Which one's your dad?!" He replied, "I don't know."
"That's what they're fighting about."
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
I like my coffee how I like my slaves
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 17 2021
Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia with a Mastercard?
Because his Visa didnβt work.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii?
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 12 2022
I couldnβt rush more than this to post it!
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
It seems that she has got a bounty on her head
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Dec 30 2021
Happy moo year! !
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 02 2022
What's the opposite of a croissant?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
What starts with a W and ends with a T
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 13 2022
I asked my daughter, "If thereβs a bee in my hand, whatβs in my eye?" Rolling her eyes, she said, "I give up. What?"
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 06 2022
My sonβs fourth birthday was today, but when he came to see me I didnβt recognize him at first.
Iβd never seen him be 4.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jan 04 2022
This just in from my daughter: What do you live in if you live in Antarctica?
Ice-olation.
She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud πππ
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 08 2022
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?" I pondered for a while and replied...
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 24 2021
As i child i was forced to walk the plank
We couldn't afford a dog...
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 10 2022
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