My doctor says I should start eating hot peppers to boost my immune system.
He said they're full of Vitamin Spi-C!
My pizza came back to haunt me from beyond the digestive system.
It was in a really crappy mood.
I've been using my new U2 navigation system this week and it's the worst...
The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
I hated my System Analysis and Design clasess,
My anatomy class is covering the nervous system and I don't get any of this stuff.
My neighbour was a selling a speaker system for just $1. When I asked him why it was so cheap he told me that you cant adjust the sound, the volume is stuck at the loudest setting.
I said "Wow, I cant turn that down"
My wife told me we didn’t need the surround system for our living room I bought...
I told her it was a Sound Investment.
Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:
My dad just made a joke about the solar system
I guess it was more of a son joke though
My neighbor sells home security systems, he's pretty good at it too.
If nobody's home, he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table
My sink’s disposal system is called the insinkerator
My friends always ask how I concocted my perfect chili recipe. I tell them: same way OJ beat the system...
My sister keeps judging people by their sound systems.
I told her to stop being so stereotypical.
I've been having the most difficult time figuring out what audio system to put in my car.
I hate making decisions based on stereotypes.
My dad (grandpa): I'm having the solar guy come over today, we're going to redo the whole system.
Me (dad): You're going to redo the whole solar system?
My dad: Yeah, we're gonna put in a new transformer and replace some cable and add some panels.
Me: But where are you gonna put Jupiter?
My son: Daaaaaad!
I called my boss to tell her I couldn’t get the security system to arm as I locked up the office tonight
My neighbor installed a security system in his porch that launches intruders into the air, and I could tell he was very happy about it.
There was a spring in his step.
My car has a great noise reduction system, but my wife?
My wife asked me to buy a new stereo system for the living room
It was a sound investment
It was very difficult to switch off my mother-in-law’s life support system.
I had to fight my wife and two doctors to do it.
My German IT guy won't let me run the Microsoft Disk Operating System on my computer.
My dad asked me what I would study at university. I said I enjoyed learning about the reproductive system.
"Have you ever thought about sex ed?" he asked.
"Who hasn't?" I replied. "And my name isn't Ed."
my review of the solar system
One of my employees was having problems with his vehicle's audio system.
Him: "My bass is so loud, it's vibrating my negative terminal off of the battery."
Me: "So in other words, the bass is giving you treble?"
He's a dad too so, he laughed.
My son said I wouldn't be able to make a solar system joke.
So I Saturn it for a while
My girls came down wearing solar system themed shirts
I said, "Did you just happen to each wear those shirts or did you planet?"
https://imgur.com/lSBknX4
I have a system for organizing the beverages in my refrigerator.
I use the Mountain Dewey decimal system.
"Dad, can I keep my solar system project in your room?"
"Yeah sure, I got some space"
They're re-doing the sewage system around my work with a giant boring machine...
Told my wife about an accident I saw today involving a septic system emptying truck
Her response was "guess he had a shitty day". Dad joked by my own wife couldn't believe it.
Recent Conversation with my Earth Systems (Geology) Teacher
Us having a pure hear-say conversation until this point:
Him: "Yeah, no, suicide rates are definitely going up in celebrities. They were awhile before Robins died actually."
Me: "Oh?"
Him: "Yeah. Just recently, some girl stabbed herself in her trailer's kitchenette. She was in Walk the Line, blonde blue eyes an-"
Me: "Reese Witherspoon?"
Him: "No, with a knife."
Me: "..."
You win this time.
My little brother was making a mobile of the solar system
Brother: Dad, what color is Uranus?
Dad: the same as yours
My Dad dropped this one when I was telling him about a visual systems study on cats...
Dad: Do you know the technical term for when cat looks from one end of the room to the other?
Me: genuinely curious No, what?
Dad: A catscan!
Me:uuuuuuuggggghhhh
Never talk about the Greek system around my dad...
He will always chime in "When I was in college, the big fraternity on campus was 'I felt a thigh.'"
My friend has a problem with his tv's speaker system, and he just couldn't understand my interest in the problem.
Me: What's the problem with it?
Friend: It echoes!
Me: It echoes!
Friend: Yeah, it just doesn't stop echoing.
Me: Echoing.
My review of our solar system:
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