My friend told me he was using sodium hydroxide to clean his pillows

What a weird thing to lye about

👍︎ 56
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife bought 9 pillows for our bed claiming it's a necessary aesthetic

But I think it's unnecessary fluff.

👍︎ 16
💬︎
👤︎ u/AureliusCM
📅︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
To the thief who stole my pillow,know this.

I will not rest until i find you.

👍︎ 711
💬︎
👤︎ u/kiplogos
📅︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I got rid of all my pillows and now I sleep better than ever

I rest on my case.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/riversquid
📅︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I put my phone under my pillow last night and went to sleep. When I woke up it was gone and a pound coin was in its place

Damn that Bluetooth Fairy

👍︎ 24
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My pillow took me to court.

I lost the case.

👍︎ 29
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Seams to me, my pillow case is inside out...
👍︎ 24
💬︎
👤︎ u/lan_mcdo
📅︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My pillow went missing...

I won't rest until I find it.

👍︎ 13
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Beyonce was just telling me the best way to source product for my new pillow-making side-hustle.

I was very surprised when she suggested punching a duck in the face. I replied - I didn't know you could get down like that.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I am having hard time deciding whether I should throw away my old pillow.

I think I’ll sleep on it.

👍︎ 292
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't think I can trust my pillow.

It's always lying behind my back.

👍︎ 41
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
I’m taking my son and daughter to the store tomorrow to buy stuffing for their pillows.

I’m planning to get down with the kids.

👍︎ 70
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Helped my daughter make a pillow fort.

Me: We've got enough pillows to make a fivet.

Kid: What's a fivet?

Me: It's a little bigger than a fort; half the size of a tent.

👍︎ 266
💬︎
👤︎ u/8Heists
📅︎ Mar 20 2017
🚨︎ report
I took my son and daughter to get stuffing for their new pillows.

You can say.... I was getting down with the kids.

👍︎ 12
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Everyone seems to be jealous of my job as a pillow manufacturer

I guess it is a pretty cushy job!

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/Mavfive
📅︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I wrote a bad joke about a pillow with my previous wife's face on

Terrible ex a cushion

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I argued for hours about what pillows we should have for our bed.

It was all pillow talk though, nothing was thrown.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
One of my friends was visiting and he really liked my new memory foam pillow, so much so he offered to buy it

I told him "I don't know, I need to sleep on it"

👍︎ 68
💬︎
👤︎ u/King_Abdul
📅︎ Nov 10 2017
🚨︎ report
My kids have one of those pillows covered in sequins...

You've probably seen these... One whole side of the pillow has sequins, which are reversible, and reveal a different color or pattern when you flip the sequins.

My daughter was playing with hers, and making pictures by flipping the sequins in patterns.

I asked her if she could make a picture showing what she did today. She spent about 15 minutes painstakingly flipping sequins to show her going to school, and dance class. She was all done, and proudly showed me her work.

I said "Well, look at that... its a sequins of events."

👍︎ 57
💬︎
👤︎ u/bcjgreen
📅︎ Feb 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend ask me what I thought of our new pillows

I told her I would have to sleep on it. What have I become.

👍︎ 264
💬︎
👤︎ u/miricalmax
📅︎ Dec 16 2013
🚨︎ report
I found out that my pillow is stuffed with goose feathers.

That makes me feel down.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I just realized why my subreddit for rating feather pillows never got popular.

Everyone was constantly down voting.

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/thorax
📅︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm not sure if my pillow is comfortable

I'll have to sleep on it

👍︎ 17
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
my daughter asked me to buy her a pillow

I told her that I support her dreams.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/oatflake
📅︎ Jan 20 2017
🚨︎ report
My sister got a new pillow for her birthday but she said she was not sure if she liked it.

My dad said she should sleep on it.

👍︎ 19
💬︎
👤︎ u/Jibbster82
📅︎ Jul 10 2016
🚨︎ report
I told my son he should tuck a ruler beneath his pillow...

It's good to know how long you sleep.

👍︎ 15
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 21 2016
🚨︎ report
Where's my pillow?

What did it look like?
It had Pooh on it.
Mom probably washed it.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Killed a couple of ants near my pillow...

My husband- "dead ant, dead ant, dead ant ant ant ant ant aaaannnnt ant ant ant" (Dragnet Theme)

Ugh.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 31 2014
🚨︎ report
I don't think I can trust my pillow.

It's always lying behind my back.

👍︎ 354
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
I’m struggling to decide whether to throw away my old pillow...

I think I’ll sleep on it

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I fell asleep with my phone under the pillow last night and when I woke up, it was gone and there was a dollar bill in its place...

Must have been the Bluetooth fairy!

👍︎ 13
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 26 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.