One of my best friends made this for me for my birthday. I love it
π︎ 34
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
My wife loves it when I blow cold air on her when she's too hot..
Personally I'm not a fan.
π︎ 132
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
I used to love fishing with my son.
Oh well !! I have to find something else to use as bait now.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 06 2021
I love my furniture...
Me and my recliner go way back.
π︎ 302
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
My friends asked me to stop singing Modern Love by David Bowie
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
My son Luke loves it that we named all our kids after Star Wars characters...
My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
my wife and dog both love licking my face...
guess iβm just a piece of meat for them
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 19 2021
All my hispanic friends love it when I say βmucho.β
π︎ 309
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
My mate told me he is in love with two school bags
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, βWill you still love me when Iβm old, fat, and balding?β She smiled and answered...
π︎ 20
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
I fell in love with my neighbor across the street.
It didn't work out. It was a lawn distance relationship.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
My love for my wife is like the national debt.
It's enormous. It seems likes it's been around forever. It is growing every day. It's something that will be passed onto our children and grandchildren.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
"I love you from my heart to-ma-toes"
π︎ 595
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
I love my dry erase board...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, βIf you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!β
I replied, βI'm on the toilet, please adviseβ¦β
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Jun 15 2020
βI love my job!β exclaimed the farmer. βAll you do is boss me around all day!β complained one of his sheep. βWhat did you say?β challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
π︎ 781
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
Everyone loves my "moderately large business agreement" costume at this fancy dress party.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
Before I met my wife my love life was hot like the Sahara desert.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
My wife said she wanted to try and get rid of her love handles...
I said she'll look stupid without any ears π
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
I love snails so I painted the letter S all over my car
Now whenever I'm out driving, people point to my car and say: "Look at that S car go."
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
My sister fell in love with a welder.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
My neighbor is an epileptic midget who really loves pizza.
Seems like everyday heβs having little seizures.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
I love taking pictures of my son, so much most people call me
his personal 'Papa'razzi.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
I love my dads jokes
Dad: would you like to hear a joke about ghosts?
Me: sure
Dad: thatβs the spirit
π︎ 21
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
My kids keep playing with my love handles
It's their favorite roll playing game.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
My pet chicken loves classical music. He always asks by name for his favorite
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
This isnβt mine and I donβt know who made it, but itβs been on my phone for so many years and I havenβt seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
π︎ 78
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
I fell in love with my cardiac surgeon
He was pulling at my heart strings
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
My uncle smokes and loves David Bowie:
We call him Ciggy Stardust.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
My trigonometry teacher loves talking about unrelated subjects for a long time
I guess you could say that he sometimes goes off on a sin/cos
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
My friend has no arms and loves to make jokes about it. They're never any good though.
He doesn't have a funny bone in his body.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
My two great loves
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
My wife loves it that I blow cold air on her when she's too hot...
Personally, I'm not a fan.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
My son Luke loves that we named him after a Star Wars character.
My daughter Chewbacca not so much
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
I love my furniture...
Me and my recliner go way back.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.
My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
π︎ 254
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
I used to love fishing with my son.
Oh well!! I guess I'll have to find something else to use as bait now.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
I love my recliner.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
I used to love fishing with my son...
Oh well!! I guess I have to find something else to use as bait now.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.
Our daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
π︎ 796
π
︎ Mar 28 2020
My uncle smokes and loves David Bowie:
We call him Ciggy Stardust.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
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