My new chauffeur refuses to use straight roads...

He's driving me 'round the bend

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I spent 300 dollars to rent a limousine only to find out the price didn't include a driver.

All that money spent and nothing to chauffeur it.

(Not my joke but thought it was worth sharing)

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/86545
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2022
🚨︎ report
There was this tramp…

One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.

He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.

He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.

"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.

"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."

"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"

"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.

"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"

"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".

"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"

"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"

"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.

"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.

He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.

"I'll have one holiday please!"

"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.

"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.

"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"

"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"

"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.

"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"

"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"

The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FancyAlligator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2022
🚨︎ report
Limo

My uncle spent $250,000 on a new limousine and later found out the price does not include a driver, To think he spent all that money and has nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mahadea
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the taxidriver say, when he lost his Will to do his Job?

Please end My Chauffeuring!

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I spent $300 on a limo and it didn't even come with a driver.

I spent all my money and I've got nothing to chauffeur it!

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAmoroso
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad's taxi rank ripper

So last week, my family was returning home on a plane flight, and because we had a lot of luggage, my parents decided to take a taxi. Well, we'd been waiting at the taxi rank for a while, and my dad exclaims: "We've been waiting here ten minutes, and what have we got to chauffeur it?" Groans were had.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deltalessthanzero
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Got some coworkers good today

So I just got to Panama City today on business. I'm traveling with 6 other coworkers, and we had a chauffeur pick us up from the airport in his van. There was room for all of us to sit; however there was no room inside the van for all our luggage. The driver decides to store all the luggage on top of the van - only problem is this is Central America and it rains A LOT. One of my coworkers said "I really hope it doesn't rain with all our luggage on top of the van". To which I replied, "Yeah, that would really put a damper on our trip". Needless to say I got a few pity laughs :)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rambo2189
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.