Mushroom Fungi Puns

He had no morrels.

I wanted to become a fun guy.

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender immediately kicked him out. The mushroom responded with c’mon I’m a fungi

As mushroom as possible.

They said there wasn't mushroom for a fungi like me.

Don't buy any kind of fungi. They take up too mushroom.

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Bartender: "Sorry we done serve food here."

Mushroom: "Come on, I'm a fungi..."

PS. I know a similar joke was recently posted, but I've always loved this two parter version.

Bartender says: “Hey! We don’t serve your lame kind!” Mushroom says: “Come on! I’m a fungi!”

My girlfriend and I were shopping for groceries for my place at whole foods yesterday and she was reading a list of things to buy. In the middle of the list was "Fungi". "Fungi? You mean mushrooms?" I asked. "No, we need fungi. Wait, we don't have to buy it. I have Chinese fungi at my place" she replied. "Hmmm. I don't like that you have a Chinese fungi at your place" "Why?!" "Well, how would YOU like it if I had a Chinese fun girl at my place?"

She laughed out loud. She's a keeper.

It's growing on me.

So in Canberra people are picking their own mushrooms; which would be fine except for the rather hazardous Death Caps that seem to be plentiful right now. A local radio station asked their listeners whether hey thought mushroom sales at stores or restaurants would go down, and what people thought of the whole issue. With a decade of experience in hospitality I thought I'd call and while waiting to go on air, the presenters joked about calling up the head 'mushroom guy' for Australia and asking their opinion.

I go on air and assure them that no restaurant worth their salt would risk their name and business by buying mushrooms that weren't from an official farm. But just before They bid me farewell I said; "I hope you do get to talk to the head mushroom person, I bet he's a real Fungi".

There was silence followed by barely audible raucous laughter from what sounded like either outside their booth or over the intercom, I'm not sure. The presenters denied me an on air groan or laugh and just pretended like I had said nothing. But someone laughed... Someone...

[Edit: Wow, unable to log in to reddit for a day and I miss getting nearly eight times more up votes than I have since joining Reddit last year. Thanks all! I knew having a 1 yr old would pay off.]

Mom made Dad stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer for dinner because it is one of his favorite foods. So we're sitting around, eating our mushrooms when...

Mom: Kevin [brother], you don't want any mushrooms.

Kevin: grumble

Dad: He's just not a fungi.

groans all around

Me: "I forgot how many people you know"

Dad: "Well I'm a pretty cool mushroom"

Me: "?"

Dad: "Fungi, get it?"

Because he was a fungi!!

Why'd the ask him to leave?

Because there wasn't mushroom!

We were out for hibachi tonight

Cook: Mushrooms?

Me: No, none for me thank you.

Uncle: and here i always thought you were a fungi

Girlfriend reading article on phone.

I comment "what is this guy holding in the photo?"

She says "mushrooms"

I said "wow". They were huge mushrooms.

She says "Yeah this guy has found a way to cultivate natural pesticides from fungi and has a patent too"

My response "Wow. He seems like a really fun guy!"

He was going on about how it's weird that there is a mushroom soup, saying 'mushroom is a fungi'.

I responded with too bad you're not a fun guy, was immediately ashamed of what I said while he looked defeated and another co-worker laughed about it.

A mushroom walking into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry we don't serve your kind around here." And the mushroom says, "Oh come on, I'm a fungi."

A three legged dog walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Can I get you something?" and the dog says, "No, I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

A piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve your kind around here." So the string walks outside twists himself into a loop, messes up his hair and walks back in. The bartender spots him and says, "Hey! Arn't you the piece of string that just walked in here?" And the string looks at him and says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

To clarify, he (we shall call him Greg) is not really a dad but with all the jokes he makes, he'd be a brilliant one. Here are a few that I can remember him making:

1. Our uni's team was set to play Surrey's team, but there were no where to be seen. One of the referees came up to me and George and said, "Surrey haven't shown up yet and the game's meant to start soon. Any idea where they are?" Greg replied with, "No, Surrey, haven't seen them." The ref and me both shook our heads laughing.
2. At the team meal Sunday night, a mushroom was thrown at another teammate. He said, "Look at you, tryna be a fungi!" Greg followed on with, "I didn't think there was mushroom for that joke."
3. During the walk home, Greg walked on ahead while 3 of us dawdled. When we caught up with him, he pointed at a wheelie bin and asked, "Where have you guys bin?" then pointed at the wheels and asked, "No, wheelie, where have you bin?" He had countless others but these 3 are the ones that stuck out.

Me: "Want some of my mushrooms?" Mom: "No, I hate fungi." Dad: "What about me? I'm a fun guy!"

My mom chopping up mushrooms for a stir fry, while I'm sitting in the adjacent living room.

Dad walks up to Mom and says "No fungi for this fun guy!" With the exuberance of a kid on Christmas. Needless to say, I cringed fairly hard.

The bartender says we don't serve your kind here,

The mushroom says, why not? I'm a "fungi"!?

The bartender looks at the mushroom and says “we don’t serve your kind here.” The mushroom looks at the bartender and says “why not? I’m a fungi!”

The mushroom says, “Why not? I’m a fungi.”

Because he was a fungi.

But if he was such a fun guy, why wasn't the party at his house?!

... Because there wasn't mushroom.

Bartender says "Get out, we don't serve your kind"
Mushroom says "Why not? Everyone knows I am a Fungi!"

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here". The mushroom replies "why not? I'm a fungi".

The mushroom looks at him and says 'why not? I'm a fungi.'

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind around here." The mushroom replies, "Why not? I'm a fungi.