I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Did I really believe we were going to find my mother somewhere out there? Probably not. Was it what my father needed to hear? I have no idea, but coming together with a common goal seemed to ease some of the tension.
My father returned to the kitchen table and looked at me intently. He’d tucked the gun into his waistband, where I must have missed it before when he was sitting down. The thing made me uncomfortable, but I doubted I could convince him to part with it. I hovered awkwardly for a moment as the silence stretched on between us.
“So?” he asked.
I reached up to rub the back of my neck. Now that I was on the spot, what did I say?
“It… er…”
“How the fuck do we fight this thing?”
I winced at his words. “I don’t think we can fight it, not like that.”
“Then what do we do?” he demanded.
I slowly sank into my seat. I felt exhausted, like all the life had been drained out of me.
“Well,” I started. “We can start by going over what didn’t work last time.”
“We already know what didn’t work,” my father said, reaching again for his glass of whiskey.
My shoulders slumped and I screwed my eyes shut at the headache I felt coming on. “You don’t know what I tried last time.”
My father paused with the glass to his lips.
“And what I didn’t try.”
*
Vickie went missing on a Tuesday. Monday night our mother tucked her in; Tuesday morning her bed was empty.
My mother grilled me first. She couldn’t understand how I’d slept through whatever had happened. I didn’t dare tell her that the thing in the woods hadn’t visited me for days, and I’d exhausted myself waiting up for it.
What came next was a blur. Police officers, fire fighters, concerned neighbors, everyone seemed to cycle through the house to help with the search for Vickie.
With no real leads, they started with search parties to comb the woods. They never found a trace of her.
Nothing came to my window in the night that followed. I looked at the empty bed across from mine. Without someone to talk to, the feeling of having my room to myself rang hollow.
A terrible gnawing began in my gut. I wasn’t Vickie’s biggest fan, but I certainly didn’t wish for anything bad to happen to her. I saw ho
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
And boy are my arms legs.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
And now I’m cannelloni
