I found out the other day that the flying spaghetti monster has a lot of anxiety.
I guess he suffers from impasta syndrome
What is a sea monsters favourite food
The monster took all the keys off my keyboard.
Now I'm out of control and there's no escape.
Did you know that archeologists discovered ancient Egyptians watched monster movies?
Moth-Ra was their favorite.
MY DAUGHTER KEPT COMPLAINING FOR DAYS ABOUT A MONSTER UNDER HER BED
So I drank it and told her to stop hiding cans😤
Why didn’t the monster laugh at the ghosts joke?
Because he was full of sheet.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed.
It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.
What’s a monsters favorite kind of sweets?
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
My kids wanted me to play monster
So I told them I gambled away their college fund and slept with their aunt
Dr. Frankestein had a hard time creating his monster's stomach.
Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet
Please destroy me for this monster ive created
What's cookie Monster's favorite horse?
What is a monster's favorite dessert?
My son thinks I'm so cool for being able to talk like Cookie Monster and Elmo.
I guess you could say I have Sesame Street cred.
After eating the ship, the sea monster said,
I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
I told my kids, "Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts and his name was…"
What do monsters say when they stub their toe?
Are monsters good at math
Only if you count Dracula
What kind of fermented milk product do large scary monsters eat?
Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"
The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."
How do monsters like their chicken cooked?
Probably the real monster Eminem was talking about
Why were all the monsters in Monsters Inc. gay?
Because they all came out of closets.
Son: Dad there is a monster coming out of my closet
Dad: Don't worry son, just be supportive.
what do you get when you cross a swamp monster with a bean?
The creature from the black legume!
Otyugh (Garbage Monster) barbecue parties are always bad....
Every BBQ is a dumpsterfire!
I truly am a monster. My partner is a nurse for context.
A wise monster once said, "C is for Cookie."
That's good enough for me.
Did you hear about the monster-sized piece of cheese destroying the city?
What do you say to a vampire when he graduates? (and other monster jokes from a book I had)
Countdraculations.
What is 5m. tall, hairy and flies at 2,179 km/h?
A King Kongcorde.
What do witches use to know the hour?
A witch watch.
What do you call a chicken spirit?
A poultrygeist.
And one mine:
What do you call a house inhabited by a chicken spirit?
A hen-ted house.
These sea monster jokes are so funny
Frankenstein’s monster was watching porn on his laptop when his wife came home. She didn’t find out because luckily...
He hid the Mac. He hid the monster Mac.
I wrote a story about a mundane, not-so-hideous monster.
My publisher said it was a mediogre work.
"What do sea monsters eat?"
Why don't monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet..
Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet
Do you know why monsters don't eat ghosts?
Monsters don't like eating ghosts
It's because they taste like sheet
Are there any Halloween monsters good at math?
Only if you count Dracula.
What do sea monsters eat for lunch
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