I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, “I Miss America!”

Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.

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📅︎ Aug 14 2020
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Friend: Why is there only 49 miss America contestants?

Me: Why? Friend: Because nobody wants to be Miss Idaho!

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👤︎ u/Napkinto
📅︎ Jan 24 2020
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Build-A-Dad.

Walking in the mall with my girlfriend, about to pass a Build-A-Bear. They have a promotion for Captain America clothes with your bear.

> Me: I feel like they missed out on an opportunity here. They should have called that the Captain Abearica.

> Girlfriend: God damnit.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Aug 09 2014
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Best customer ever

So I work at Dick's sporting goods, at the flagship store meaning that we are the largest store in the United States. Had a guy come in, clearly impressed with the store. I proceeded to tell him how we were the largest store around. Without missing a beat he replied "So how's it feel to be working for the biggest Dick's in America"

👍︎ 27
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📅︎ Jul 12 2014
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