Millard Powers Puns

What tier would you rate Henry Clay's first term as president?

President Henry Clay, the first president to be photographed

The Cabinet:

Domestic Policy:

- Henry Clay created a cabinet that he hoped would appease all factions of the party. Former Minister to Britain Joseph Vance was offered the post of Secretary of State. Vance refused, but accepted the new Secretary of Interior cabinet position. Young Representative from New York Millard Fillmore was made Postmaster General. Fillmore was known as an anti-slavery Whig, but he had still supported Clay in the Whig convention of 1840. This made him a logical choice. William Drayton, a South Carolina Unionist, was chosen as the Secretary of the Navy. As the only concession to his main opponent in the convention, Davy Crockett, John Bell was appointed Secretary of War.

- This left the positions of Secretary of State, Attorney General, and Secretary of Treasury unfilled. Clay chose to fill the positions of Secretary of Treasury and Attorney General with Clay loyalists. He chose Rufus Choate and James Harlan, from Massachusetts and Kentucky, respectively. Finally, He offered the post of Secretary of State to Theodore Frelinghuysen to reward the "Christian Statesman" for supporting him in the convention. However, Clay himself would take charge over most of the country's foreign policy during his term, leaving Frelinghuysen essentially irrelevant.

- Former president Andrew Jackson died on March 19th, 1841, weakened severely by his time as president and his service in the Civil War.

- On April 8th, 1841, women's rights activist Lucretia M

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

I chose relatively current, highly-rated, single-volume biographies covering the entire life of each president available via my local library or used bookstore.

Here are the selections I read:

-Washington: A Life (2010) by Ron Chernow

-John Adams (2001) by David McCullough

-Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power (2012) by Jon Meacham

-James Madison: A Life Reconsidered (2014) by Lynne Cheney

-James Monroe: A Life (2020) by Tim McGrath

-John Quincy Adams: A Public Life, A Private Life (1997) by Paul Nagel

-American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House (2008) by Jon Meacham

-Martin Van Buren (2005) by Ted Widmer

-William Henry Harrison (2012) by Gail Collins

-John Tyler (2008) by Gary May

-A Country of Vast Designs: James K. Polk (2009) by Robert Merry

-Zachary Taylor (2008) by John S. D. Eisenhower

-Millard Fillmore (2011) by Paul Finkelman

-Franklin Pierce (2010) by Michael Holt

-James Buchanan (2004) by Jean Baker

-Lincoln (1995) by David Herbert Donald

-Impeached: The Trial of Andrew Johnson and the Fight for Lincoln’s Legacy (2009) by David Stewart

-Grant (2017) by Ron Chernow

-Rutherford B. Hayes (2002) by Hans Trefousse

-Destiny of the Republic: A Tale of Madness, Medicine and the Murder of a President (2011) by Candice Millard

-Chester Alan Arthur (2004) by Zachary Karabell

-An Honest President: The Life and Presidencies of Grover Cleveland (2000) by H. Paul Jeffers

-Benjamin Harrison (2005) by Charles Calhoun

-President McKinley: Architect of the American Century (2017) by Robert Merry

-TR: The Last Romantic (1997) by H.W. Brands

-William Howard Taft (2018) by Jeffrey Rosen

-Wilson (2013) by A. Scott Berg

-Warren G. Harding (2004) by John W. Dean

-Coolidge (2013) by Amity Shlaes

-Hoover: An Extraordinary Life in Extraordinary Times (2017) by Kenneth Whyte

-FDR (2007) by Jean Edward Smith

-Truman (1992) by David McCullough

-Eisenhower in War and Peace (2012) by Jean Edward Smith

-An Unfinished Life: JFK 1917-1963 (2003) by Robert Dallek

-Lyndon Johnson and the American Dream (1976) by Doris Kearns Goodwin

-Richard Nixon: The Life (2017) by John Farrell

-Gerald R. Ford (2007) by Douglas Brinkley

-His Very Best: Jimmy Carter, A Life (2020) by Jonathan Alter

-Reagan: An American Journey (2018) by Bob Spitz

-Destiny and Power: The American Odyssey of George Herbert Walker Bush (2015) by Jon Meacham

-Bill Clinton (2017) by Michael Tomasky

-Bush (2016) by Jean Edward Smith

-The Bridge: The Life and Rise of Barac

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

{{Short description|none}} {{Use American English|date=June 2021}} {{Use mdy dates|date=April 2017}} {{Politics of the United States}} {{pp|small=yes}}

The [[president of the United States]] is the [[head of state]] and [[head of government]] of the United States,<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Rossiter|first=Clinton|author-link=Clinton Rossiter|date=1962|title=Powers of the United States President and Congress|journal=Pakistan Horizon|volume=15|publisher=[[Pakistan Institute of International Affairs]]|issue=2|page=86|jstor=41392704}}</ref> [[indirectly elected]] to a four-year [[Term of office|term]] by the American people through the [[United States Electoral College|Electoral College]].<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Shugart|first=Matthew S.|author-link=Matthew Søberg Shugart|date=2004|title=Elections': The American Process of Selecting a President: A Comparative Perspective|journal=[[Presidential Studies Quarterly]]|publisher=[[Center for Congressional and Presidential Studies]]|volume=34|issue=3|pages=633–636|doi=10.1111/j.1741-5705.2004.00216.x|jstor=27552617}}</ref> The officeholder leads the [[Executive (government)|executive branch]] of the [[Federal government of the United States|federal government]] and is the [[commander-in-chief]] of the [[United States Armed Forces]].<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Fairman|first=Charles|date=1949|title=The President as Commander-in-Chief.|journal=[[The Journal of Politics]]|publisher=[[University of Chicago Press]]|volume=11|issue=1|pages=145–146|doi=10.2307/2126503|jstor=2126503|s2cid=155029239}}</ref>

Since the office was established in 1789, 45 people<!-- DO NOT change this number; forty-five (45) is CURRENT and CORRECT. While the incumbent president, Joe Biden, is the nation's 46th president, he is only the 45th person to serve as president. This is because Grover Cleveland served two non-consecutive terms and is numbered as both the 22nd and 24th U.S. president. --> have served in 46 presidencies. The first president, [[George Washington]], won a unanimous vote of the Electoral College;<ref>{{Cite book|last=Matuz|first=Roger|title=Complete American Presidents Sourcebook|publisher=UXL|year=2001|isbn=978-0-7876-4842-8|page=xxii|lccn=00056794|ol=24722725M}}</ref> one, [[Grover Cleveland]], served two non-consecutive terms and is therefore counted as the 22nd and 24th president of the United States, giving rise to the discrepancy between the number of presidents and the nu

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.