The Cat-pulets and the Meow-tagues
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LadyLevia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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We've got pun dog...and now pun cat. You've cat to be kitten me right meow!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NumerikAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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TIL cats in New Zealand can’t meow.

They meowri.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_th1nker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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A cat meows to my dad.

meow

My dad said, "Hi Ow, I'm dad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nasrulhulk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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100 Paw-sitively Meow-nificent Cat Purr-ns Fur Mew to Use Whenev-fur Mew Need
  • Allow => A-meow
  • Apology => A-paw-logy
  • Appalling => A-paw-ling
  • Attitude => Cat-titude
  • Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
  • Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
  • Because => Be-claws
  • Before => Be-fur
  • Bother => Bo-fur
  • Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
  • Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
  • Catch => Cat-ch
  • Clever => Claw-ver
  • Confusing => Con-fur-sing
  • Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
  • Different => Dif-fur-rent
  • Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
  • Familiar => Fur-miliar
  • Feeling => Feline
  • For => Fur
  • For real => Fur real
  • Forever => Fur-ever
  • Forget => Fur-get
  • Fortunate => Fur-tunate
  • Forward => Fur-ward
  • Friend => Fur-end
  • Furious => Fur-ious
  • Further => Fur-ther
  • Get or Got => Cat
  • Help me out => Help meow-t
  • History => Hiss-tory
  • Hysterical => Hiss-terical
  • Inferior => In-fur-ior
  • Kidding me => Kitten me
  • Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
  • Literally => Litter-ally
  • Literature => Litter-a-ture
  • Lost => Claw-st
  • Lying => Lion
  • Magnificent => Meow-nificent
  • Marvellous => Meow-velous
  • Minimum => Mew-nimum
  • Misery => Mew-sery
  • Moment => Mew-ment
  • Mountain => Meow-ntain
  • Move => Mew-v
  • Music => Mew-sic
  • Musician => Meow-sician
  • Never => Nev-fur
  • New => Mew
  • Now => Meow
  • Over => Ov-fur
  • Paper => Pay-purr
  • Pardon me => Paw-don me
  • Pause => Paws
  • Perfect => Purr-fect
  • Perhaps => Purr-haps
  • Permission => Purr-mission
  • Person => Purr-son
  • Personal => Purr-sonal
  • Persuasion => Purr-suasion
  • Places => Purr-laces
  • Please => Paw-lease
  • Portable => Paw-table
  • Positive => Paw-sitive
  • Possibility => Paw-sibility
  • Possibly => Paw-sibly
  • Precious => Purr-ecious
  • Prefer => Paw-fer
  • Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
  • Pretty => Purr-ty
  • Priceless => Purr-iceless
  • Prince => Purr-ince
  • Princess => Purr-incess
  • Puns => Purr-ns
  • Purpose => Purr-pose
  • Referring => Re-fur-ing
  • Respond => Res-paw-nd
  • Simple => Sim-paw-le
  • Suffer => Suf-fur
  • Superior => Su-purr-ior
  • Tale => Tail
  • Talent => Tail-ent
  • Tell => Tail
  • That’s all => Cat’s all
  • Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
  • Very => Furry
  • Whenever => Whene-fur
  • Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
  • You => Mew
  • Apologize => A-paw-logize
  • First => Furr-st
  • How are you? => Meow are mew?
  • Morning => Meowrning
  • Phon
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyl327
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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Dog goes woof, cat goes meow bird goes tweet and mouse goes squeek, but... youtube.com/watch?v=EzL5c…
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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Dog goes woof, cat goes meow bird goes tweet and mouse goes squeek, but... youtube.com/watch?v=EzL5c…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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My cat came up to me and meowed imploringly then started massaging my leg with its paws...

My cat kneads me!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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These kitties love puns almost as much as napping, and the rise of the proletariat.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-NarWallace-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Catastrophic pun
πŸ‘︎ 796
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PresidentCrabo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Is this the right place for this?
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuicidualRussian
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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Cat Man

I can transform into a cat Don't ask meow!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enterprevic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Stay inside, practise social distancing and keep clean...

Meow meow meow, we are becoming cats 🐈

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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What do you call a pile of cats?

A meowtain.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fornosoccer12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2015
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Cat in shock after climbing under car. (OP /u/ronaldinjo) gfycat.com/DecimalRegular…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOTY123
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2015
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A cat walks into a veterinarian’s office.

The vet says, β€œWhat seems to be the problem?”

The cat says, β€œMeow.”

The vet says, β€œOkay, where?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mine_Menace
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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I guess I'm a dad now...[actually happened]

Me: Starts randomly meowing in bed

Wife comes in and looks at me as much as to say WTF?

Me: I was cat calling you; and it worked!

Wife sighs and looks defeated

Me: Laughs hysterically

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πŸ‘€︎ u/james2432
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Can anyone think of good cat puns?

I need some good cat puns right meow, entertain me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catsaiah
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
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My friend was telling me cat jokes.....

I told him I just wasn't feline it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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A man brings his cat to the veterinarian...

The cat looks at the man and says "Meow". The man looks at the cat and says "I know, that's why we're here".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnearmedHelix
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
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My girlfriend ...

I was working on a project, when I hear my girlfriend behind me, saying, "Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!"

I turn around, and she's standing there, smiling, holding our cat. She repeats the noise, directing the cat to face me. She says, "He's a ... CAT-ling gun!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NobodyWhatsoever
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2015
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A hitman dog

A hitman dog walks up to a cat. The dog says to the cat. Meows your time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuesoIsHere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
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My 9-year-old got me...

Traveling in the car with the family, my daughter points out a billboard with a cat sporting a mustache.

Me: "You mean a meow-stache?" (ok, lame, but still...)

[whole family groans]

My son: "They should have used a cow. Then it would have been a moo-stache."

[and a proud little tear fell from my eye...]

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πŸ“…︎ May 26 2014
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I came home to see my 2 year old Tabby had destroyed my favorite couch.

All I could think was, "You've cat to be kitten me right meow." I'm torn on how I feel about her... I wish I could retract what she did but there's no point getting clawed up in the negative emotions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chucos007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2013
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Our family's favorite joke.

My youngest daughter had a developmental disability as a toddler. As a result, she was very withdrawn and functionally mute until the age of four. I made up a joke and taught it to her in an attempt to get her to open up a little. It worked.

Me: What does the dog say?

Her: Woof!

Me: What does the cat say?

Her: Meow!

Me: What does the cow say?

Her: Eat More Chikin!

Thanks, Chik-Fil-A, for helping to bring my baby girl out of her shell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/papashuga
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2017
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Just say meow.

How my dad used to wake us up. I can't wait to torture my kids this way.

Dad: wake up, its time for school!

Me: 5 more minutes.

Dad: oh you want a cat nap? Say 'meow'

Me: nooooo ughhh

Dad: I'm not Noah? But didn't he build an ark?

Me: dad go away!

Dad: but I already know what I weigh.

Me: dad pleaaase

Dad: police? Where?!

Me: dad leave me alone!

Dad: a loan? Okay how much do you need?

Me: dad stop!

Dad: just say meow.

Me: meow

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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Did you hear about the communist cat?

I think he was called meow tse-tung. This cat joke is purrfect.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2017
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My dad this morning

Dad: Do you know why your cat is meowing?
Me: Because he wants you to open the door, so he can get in.
Dad: No, because he is a cat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nodoubt_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
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Dadjoked by my 7 year old - he's off to a good start.

We were sitting down to dinner and one of our cats was meowing for attention. He said: "C'mon butterscotch, you gotta be kitten me".

I was so proud of meow boy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chargrill
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2015
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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I'm not feeling well."

The doctor says, "Okay, well have a seat." He then walks out of the room for a moment and comes back with a Labrador Retriever. The dog sniffs him a bit, then the doctor walks him back out of the room with his tail wagging. A couple minutes pass, and the doctor comes back with a cat. He rubs the cat all over the man until it meows, then takes it back out of the room. The doctor then returns and says, "Well, you seem fine to me. That'll be $1000." The man, flabbergasted, yells, "$1000?! There wasn't even anything wrong with me!" The doctor replies, "Well it rounds out to that between the lab work and the cat scan..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JH456
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2015
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Wife got me in the movie theater...

We were watching the newest Hunger Games movie a couple of weekends ago. Throughout the film she was (very quietly) whispering interesting things that were in the books but not the film.

Mild Spoilers

There is a certain part where a character goes back for a cat.

End Mild Spoilers

She leans over and I think she was going to tell me another interesting things about the scene. She whispered a little louder than the other times, "You've gotta be kitten me right meow!"

You could hear the slight chuckle from the people in front of us and I had to stifle my laughter. I probably shouldn't find it that funny, but I love good timing and a corny joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
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My wife hit me with this

As out cat sad meowing at out dinner table my wife looked at me and said "I hate when she does that its like my biggest pet, peeve" the she started giggling. It makes me proud to know she's ready for our baby to be here in a few weeks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Forgetfulotter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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Not a father but I used this on my GF

My girlfriend and I were in the vet's office when she mentioned seeing a cat in the middle of the road that had been struck by a car earlier that day. We had both seen it and she said that there needed to be a moment of silence for the fallen kitty.

I said, "more like a meowment of silence..."

She called me an idiot as I laughed for a good minute or so.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ANDTHEMETSWIN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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Roommate wasn't amused.

Hear a squeak

Me: Did the cat just meow?

Roommate: I think it was a dog.

Me: One of the dogs meowed?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schatzie831
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
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A man and his cat

A man walks up to his cat.

The man says, "meow."

The cat says, "where?"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trehoybwogson
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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