“You know, if you squint, it really isn’t that bad.”

“Yeah, and if you squint at Ubris’s rear end, it looks like the Crab Nebula.”

“Madros, I’m being serious here.”

“So am I. You’ve been conned, bad information. It’s as simple as that. We should recoup our losses and move on.”

Ello and Madros stood at the center of the observation deck, surrounded by the rippling organic machinery of their Creation Ship. Through the observation window was a brown mid-sized planet, still in the midst of its infancy.

Madros stepped forward and rapidly clicked through the data feed, eyes squinting at each new integer. “40% hydrogen, 30% helium, trace amounts of methane, ammonia, water. No reactive oxides to speak of.”

Madros shifted his wings and sat down in his chair.

“And by the way, did you see the world Lureus found?” He started. “Perfect temperature range, 2.6 on the gravitic scale, atmospheric composition of 73.2% Nitrogen 20.5 % oxygen. I heard he even has clouds already. Who knows how long he’ll parade that in front of the Pantheon before he finally gets on with it.”

Ello smacked him lightly with the tip of her wing.

“But just imagine the potential of life developing on this planet. Surviving in such a hostile, unforgiving environment.” Ello smiled cheekily, her antenna quivered. “They will be strong.”

“Don't forget, that’s an ‘if’ life develops. We’re looking at near insurmountable barriers here."

Madros eyed Ello. She had all four hands pressed against the observation glass, eyes wide and filled with specks of gold light, her wings a flurry of emotion, almost vibrating with energy. He dropped his shoulders in defeat. He made a gesture and brought up the data again.

“So, it’s got some rather significant tectonic activity.”

“Yes.”

“There’s eight others with vaguely similar sizes in this system, but It’s over 2.3 million jumps to the nearest neighboring star.”

“Yes.”

“And reports from the celestial plotters indicate a threat of cataclysmic meteor strikes at 40% for a million years or so, and then at 5% for the next hundred million.

“Yes.”

Madro fixed Ello with a steady gaze.

“Is this the one?”

Ello turned towards him, her body haloed by the round observation window. When she smiled, he was flooded with radiant warmth, like someone pouring liquid sun straight into his soul, like all the stars in the universe going supernova in an instant, just for him.

“Okay then. Let’s do it now.” Madro rubbed his hands together, and made a quick gesture with

Hi. I'm 38. My wife and I make respectable incomes but less than $100k each. We used to make a lot more (more on that later), but we've scaled back to part-time consulting in order to spend more time with children.

This year alone, we are contributing $150,000 to 401k, IRA, HSA, and 529 (college savings).

I set up this new Reddit account so that it can't be traced back to my real name, but everything I am sharing is legitimate and legal. I simply don't want friends and family to know my financials. I am the millionaire next door that you don't know about, and I prefer it that way!

------

We are legally depositing $150,000 into tax-advantaged accounts this year:

- $58,000 Mega Roth (me)
- $58,000 Mega Roth (wife)
- $6,000 Roth (me)
- $6,000 Roth (wife)
- $7,200 HSA (us)
- $15,000 529 (kids)

Remember I said we used to make a lot more? We have around $1.7mm in taxable accounts (not in retirement accounts), and I've been trying to figure out a way to load up 401k, IRA, and HSA as quickly as possible. The less we have in taxable brokerage accounts, the better. And the sooner we do it, the better our returns in the long run.

The trick? Don't work for someone else. Don't have a W2. Instead, own your own business as a consultant and don't hire any employees. My wife and I are both consultants running our own companies with no employees.

When you own a company and collect business income, you can set up your own 401k plan for your business. As an employee of that business, you can contribute the max to your own 401k, $19,500 each. For this amount, I choose the Roth option.

As an *employer*, you can contribute another $38,500 after-tax to the 401k, and then transfer it into the Roth account. That's $58,000 into Roth per person, per year. It's called the Mega Roth. Mega Roth may go away soon if the Build Back Better bill passes, but it's been around for years.

The reason you choose Roth (an after-tax contribution) is because Roth contributions do *not* decrease your taxable income. The contributions are not tax-deductible.

Why would you ever want to maximize your taxable income? Because of the QBI deduction. A small business owner can now deduct 20% of their business net income. The more income you have, the higher the deduction amount. If you make $100,000 in a year, your business income is now just $80,000 according to the IRS (20% off). You can then further subtract the standard deduction and any other deduct

Investors accept in theory the premise that the stock market may have its recessions in the future. But these drops are envisaged in terms of the experience of the past ten years when the maximum decline was only 19 percent. The public is confident that such setbacks will be made up speedily, and hence that a small amount of patience and courage will bring great rewards in the form of a much higher price level soon thereafter. Investors may think they are basing this view of the future on past experience, but in this they are surely mistaken. The experience of the 1949-1959 market – or of all bull markets put together – reflects only the sunny side of the investment. It is one thing to say airily that the market has always come back after declines and made new heights; it is another to reflect on the fact that it took 25 years for the market to reach again the high level of 1929, or that the Dow Jones Average sold at the same high point in 1919 as it did in 1942 – 23 years later. – Benjamin Graham, December 17, 1959

Extended bull markets result in ordinary investors expecting believing that this is a new normal. Market crashes and associate losses are a thing of the past.

Printer goes brrrr.

But what has happened in the past when we have seen this level of valuation? Bonds outperformed SPY from 1929-1947, 1966-1985, 2000-2013. Imagine buying into an index fund now, and 10 years later having gone nowhere. This would be something that many passive investors wouldn’t think was possible.

SPY to Bonds ratio

BUT! Interest rates are at record lows. Yes, but low rates on their own do not result in an improvement of the expected return over time. Some suggest that lower rates can excuse higher valuation multiples. This doesn’t add up to me. Higher valuations drive down future expected returns. On top of this a low rate environment means growth is low [why else low rates?], so why would there be an added growth premium at all?

The current predicament we find ourselves in is the biggest bubble of all time.

Composite Market Value to GDP

Anyone fully invested long equities here is massively speculating. The tired affirmations which are religiously regurgitated by the buy-and-hold-passive-index-ETF investors; time in the market, not timing the market, could never before indicate so clearly someone who is wilfully ignoring valuations to their own detriment. Ironically this is pure speculatio

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

https://preview.redd.it/4g449w995az71.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ff30c1a36a132d545d6e9f543daf9063bf3aa44

This is one of a series of posts where I will apply my fast and dirty historical fundamental analysis to some of the biggest dogshit stocks of 2021. If you are interested in the process I use below to evaluate a stock, check out How Do I Buy A Stonk???

The Business

https://preview.redd.it/bgeflina5az71.png?width=2400&format=png&auto=webp&s=0453c606858afb8a150b44bb2df1883dc0d774cc

Magellan Financial Group is a Sydney based investment fund manager that was founded in 2006 by Hamish Douglass and Chris Mackay. Unlike what the name might imply, this fund does not have any relation to the Magellan Fund that Peter Lynch helmed at Fidelity. No, this Aussie fundie started with quite a different, though well recognised name, Malcolm Turnbull. His struggling Pengana Hedge Fund (started in 2003) was scooped up by the two investment bankers looking to start out on their own. After a rebranding and a restructure of the investments, away they went.

Magellan runs a number of closed and open funds, hedged and unhedged funds, though the majority of its funds under management are aligned with its Global Equities strategy. In the initial decade since starting the fund, Magellan did quite well and drew big investments from both retail and institutional clients. In FY21, their total funds under management topped over $100b making them one of the largest active fund managers in Australia.

The Checklist

• Net Profit: positive all of the last 10 years. Good ✅
• Outstanding Shares: slight trend up, but stable L10Y. Good ✅
• Revenue, Profit, & Equity: mainly growing, but took a major hit to profit LY. Neutral ⚪
• Insider Ownership: 28.5% w/ several buys, but 2x directors sold $15m* @ $60 LY. Neutral ⚪
• Debt / Equity: 1.5% w/ Current Ratio of 1.6x. Good ✅
• ROE: 42% Avg L10Y w/ 42% FY21. Good ✅
• Dividend: 2.9% 10Y Avg Yield w/ 6.0% FY21. Good ✅
• BPS 5.38 (6.5x P/B) w/ NTA $4.77 (7.3x P/NTA). Bad ❌
• 10Y Avg: SPS $2.15 (16.3x P/S), EPS $1.22 (30.4x P/E). Bad ❌
• Growth: +50.7% Avg Revenue Growth L10Y w/ +3.0% FY21. Good ✅

Fair Value: $19.17

Target Buy: $13.60

^(* I should note that one of these sales (Paul Lewis in Oct ’20) was partial sale and partial rebalancing. He sold about $9m in MFG shares, and then reinvested half of that equall

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It was about a weak back.

You take away their little brooms

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "