Steak jokes are a rare medium well done.
Nevermind, that was raw. Let me cook something else up.
At the office barbecue, I grilled a medium rare steak and my boss said, “I like it well done!”
I said, “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”
I used to go out with a girl who was a medium, a clairvoyant and a psychic.
I broke it off because she said she was seeing other people all the time.
What do you call a fat psychic?
Playing rainbow six using Calculator as a controller
I bought a dozen medium eggs yesterday.
They keep telling me I have an eggs-cellent future ahead of me if I would just break out of my shell.
Two mediums walk into a bar.
Everyone braging about big Dicks, well I have a medium Dick, it can talk to ghosts
What beef only comes in 2, 3, 5, 7, or 11 ounce portions?
My wife's been re-watching the TV show 'Medium'...
I asked her if she'd seen the hard-to-find special season they made towards the end of the show's run.
She gave me a puzzled and intrigued look and wanted to know more info on it.
I told her I believe that specific season is commonly called 'Medium Rare'.
Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?
Cause that's when the steaks are highest.
Edit: Well this is rare, I wasn't sure how well done this joke was. Thanks for the face palm.
I recently subscribed to a nice little magazine about steaks.
It's a rare medium well done.
First part- https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/ehsmyy/so_this_happened_in_a_gc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
My son asked if I could tell him what a solar eclipse is
Why did the medium cross the road?
To speak to the other side!
The answer is what happened
I'm very disappointed with my medium fries
These aren't medium, they are not spicy at all!
Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?
... so they can beat the crowds!
Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)
Have you heard any good steak jokes recently?
Neither have I. It's a rare medium well-done.
That's some prime rib roast rith there
A woman was missing her her dead husband, so she went to see a medium.
The Medium started a seance and said, in a sing-song voice, "John, if you are with us, please say something".
The Ouija board immediately started spelling out: S-O-M-E-T-H-...
Wife: THAT'S HIM!!!
Just what is it about all the Psychics that I visit, they're either totally depressed or too excitable..
..it's really hard to find the happy Medium.
A local circus caught fire today
A dwarf psychic robbed a bank today.
The news reported that there's a small medium at large.
What happened to the midget who smoked a lot of pot ?
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020
Because they had a fight and 2021
A psychic dwarf broke out of prison the other day, what did the headlines say?
There’s small medium at large
How does a medium contact a dead window washer?
why are most psychics unhappy
because happy mediums are actually really rare
What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?
(Credit to u/Anon8627) My mum said I'm terrible with directions
Why there is Medium Salsa
Found this post and I just can't stop laughing (LINK BELOW)
What do you call a midget psychic on the loose?
Why are puns the only joke medium that are measured in how good they are by how volitole the reaction is?
They only had size of shirt available at the psychic convention.
Turns out they're mediums.
Fortune tellers only come in one size
My wife likes her eggs over medium; I like my eggs over easy
Different yolks for different folks
When short people smoke weed do they get high or medium?
I went to a fortune tellers conference. They had free t-shirts.
Did you hear about the midget who could talk to the dead that was running from the police?
He was a small medium at large.
I made matching t-shirts for the members of my fortune tellers club...
But it turned out not all of them were mediums
Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that broke out of jail?
Police are saying there is a small medium at large
I wanted to become a ghost hunter, but settled on going to a psychic
Why can’t mediums prove that they can speak to the dead?
It’s not an exact seance—it’s more of a pseudoseance.
A tipped my psychic an extra $20.00 the other day...
She was a very happy medium.
It was about rape so the pun is better. Original post https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/bq2qvn/peta_parent_freaks_out_at_my_animal_abusing_ways/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Tell me ONE thing wrong with heavy tourism in Hawaii. Go on.
I went to a restaurant with two friends the other day one of them ordered a rare steak and the other asked for a medium rare steak. When we got our food they had each other's steaks,
I then instinctively yelled "I guess this was just a big 'mistake'"
Just found out my cousin who had a stuttering problem died in prison
He didn't even finish his sentence
I like telling dad jokes
He laughs at them sometimes
Why do the Hong Kong police wake up early?
To beat the crowd.
Edit: All credit goes to u/AleoMoorea, who posted it here.
A short psychic has been on a killing spree
The headlines read "A small medium is at large"
There has been some good news today as a plus-size clairvoyant announces they are releasing a charity calendar, with pictures of them in their underwear.
Fans of the psychic say that they are looking forward to seeing a large medium in smalls.
Television is a medium
Because anything we'll done is rare
Why did the medium cross the road?
To talk to the other side
I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, “I like it well done.”
I said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
What do you call a fat psychic?
Steak puns are a rare medium well done
A good steak joke...
.. is a rare medium well done.
Because I am not allowed to post media
https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/ii7t65/his_jokes_arent_always_bad/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
A dwarf clairvoyant just escaped prison
Police say there is a small medium at large
You don't have to be a dad.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/ifvxq8/i_made_a_race_joke_at_work_that_i_feel_is_pretty/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Clairvoyants are either really miserable or really angry
Steak Puns...
are a rare medium well done
What do you call a psychic dwarf who escaped from prison?
They were in the same damn box!
What do you call a fortune telling dwarf who escapes from prison?
What do you call a fat psychic?
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Donald, Duck" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
But their grandchildren still listen, in spite of rule 4, because hearing dear old grand-da be excited about his stories is just so sweet, whether he remembers tellin them or not
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What do you call a psychic dwarf that escaped from prison?
Any steak puns in the house? I hear they are a rare medium well done...
What do you call a three foot psychic that escaped prison ?
What do you call a Psychic Dwarf that recently escapes from a federal prison?
A steak pun is a rare medium well done
Why did the medium cross the road?
What do you call a dwarf clairvoiyant who just escaped jail?
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
A four-foot-tall fourtuneteller escaped from prison.
He was a small medium at large.
What do you call a fat psychic?
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