Math Test Puns

Apparently the answer was “45”.

Because the juice he drank had 0 percent concentrate

They both typically include some root calculations.

I'd have $7.20 right now.

I got it wrong on so many levels.

An old one I know, I just thought the punchline needed revision.

Because he wanted to make a skate bored!

From the shelf beside him, an abacus says "Dont worry kid, you can always count on me"

“Because” he replied “my score was in retrograde”

I guess i would rate this day a 22/7.

He killed it.

It was in tenths!

Geometry

The teacher said I could use a calculater

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

Dad: So disappointed, why not A+ Sexual

Sons mate: I got 90% for my maths test today.

Me: That's great, what was it about?

Him: Volume

Me: What? I didn't catch that.

Him (slightly louder): Volume

Me: Sorry I couldn't hear you

Him (louder still): VOLUME!

I walk off chuckling to myself while he looks confused.

So he's studying for some math test and says, "Dammit! I can't remember any of these identities!" to which I respond, "So I guess you're having a bit of a... identity crisis."

Dad (after i failed a math test): they square up.

If I had 50p for everytime I failed a maths test I would have around £6.73 by now

My math teacher was explaining why there were mistakes on an answer key for our test review. He told us that the teacher that made it did so hastily.

I responded with "who knew teacher name was a Russian"

Groans all around.

Her sister was studying for her math test when she asks, "what is cos? (co-sign)" When her dad pipes up, "It's when two people sign a document." Sister, "....."

I'd have $1.15

Friend: I don't think I'm gonna take the essay part of the SAT if it's optional now Little Sister: But then you'll only be taking a T

The mom's in the room were really confused at first then groaned. I for one know a dad joke when I hear one

If I had 50 cents for every failed math test I every took, I would have like $ 6.30 by now.

I was sat a few seats away from a man and his son/grandson and he was testing the kid on his math.

Man: "what's 2+2"
Kid: "4"
Man: "what's 4+4"
Kid: "8"
Man: what's 8+8"
Kid: "16"

This continued all the way up to 2048

Man: "okay then... if you have two yards, what have you got?"
Kid: "umm.... two metres?... a metre?"
Man: "no, you have a back yard and a front yard"

I let out a little chuckle but the kid didn't seem to enjoy it as much