A list of puns related to "Married Christmas"
“Marry Christmas” He said
My mother-in-law and father-in-law are named Mary and Jeff. As we left their house last night on Christmas Eve, I hugged my mother-in-law and said "Merry Christmas", then hugged my father-in-law and said "Jeff Christmas".
Marry Christmas
I wish a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone reading! :)
We are watching a dumb hallmark Christmas movie and the main guy owns a coffee shop. He is getting married and I make fun of the fact that his vows are all coffee puns.
So my girl yells, "well, he is a coffee person!"
Me- "no babe, he is just a human person."
(Her laugh was really a slight chuckle and a "you're so dumb", but dammit, I am taking the win!)
MAN LAWS
The International Rules of Manhood
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding
... keep reading on reddit ➡Wife and I married in October and had our first married Christmas together at the in-laws house:
Bro-in-law: (opens present) Oh! A reversible throw blanket! Me: So is the opposite of a reverse throw called... a catch?
This may be my last Christmas with the in-laws.
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