Like I talk fast, as I was never allowed to get a word in or was always told to hurry up when I had something to say. I expect it comes off as lack of confidence / is intense for people.
I also interrupt when people are talking as my brain works fast for the same reason which definitely comes off rude.
Not assertive in friendships as as a kid being assertive would not end well, I know I come off as a people pleaser.
These served a purpose around my parent, helped keep them off my back. But they are not good in the real world.
I want to work on these behaviours but i'm not sure I am aware of them all.
What are yours/some you have seen in other people?
I find i am often lost in my head or distracting myself, but sometimes, i find i also think about things like:
- if i won the lotto (i dont play but used to), all my troubles will be over
- i used to fantasise about having a way to turn back time
- Something would magically fix stuff
- A random person leaving inheritance
stuff like that, which i guess keeps me stuck and blocks responsibility (which is a confusing term for me also)
do you relate?
I thought everyone else made up detailed stories in their heads, like a “fanfiction” of your own life. I just found out that no, not everybody else does that…
That’s the only way I can sleep or do anything really (exercising, dishes, taking a shower). I’m always day dreaming. I guess I did that to scape hell when I lived with my parents, so I could pretend I was beautiful, intelligent, nice and full of friends.
Life got better but I can’t get rid of this habit. Anyone else “suffering” from this?
Hello everyone... Can you guys please tell us the consequences you have faced or you're facing Right now because of MD? Here are some of mine - Being unproductive, laziness, being exhausted every time, feeling sleepy 24/7, mood swings, being rude without any solid reasons, difficulty in sleep at night, limitation of social meetings, constant headaches etc. Please let me know if these things also happen to you.
And what's the one thing you want to change if you can go back to past time?
I’ve written a few “scripts”, short stories, and (short) chapter books that were 100% from daydreams. Now I sit and wonder if some famous books and movies were created from a daydream.
Anyone else do this? I've always been a daydreamer. There have been times in my life where my fantasy felt more real then real life. I try to compensate for my loneliness and inability to connect with others. I also tend to do this with YouTubers, bandmembers or other content creators I like. When I feel like someone is kind or comforting I will have a version of them in my head and talk to them or fantasize about them comforting me or being my friend. It always feels kinda pathetic, but I can't stop doing it
What do you think my fellow MDers ? Is Maladaptive daydreaming serious condition? If yes... Then how serious it can be based on your experiences?
Hey guys, we're thinking of makingan app where you can
- Write down your daydreams to process them
- Track your daydreams and go on no-daydream streaks where you can also win medals, ...
- Notifications with motivational quotes like "The cost of daydreaming is reality, get out into the real world!", ....
- A community of people to share your daydreams with and relate to each other
- Many more features
Please leave an upvote if you think you could use such an app so we can see if there is actual demand for this.
If you have any feature you want to add, please leave a comment :)
I (f20) thought I started when I was 16 but revisiting my old Wattpad account I realised I had been doing it even when I was around 13 years old. This is because I attempted to write my own teen fiction back then and the main character was based on me and I included the fact that she daydreams a lot. My memory isn't the best so I can't remember exactly when I started MDD but when I think back to it, even as a kid (maybe as young as 6) I would daydream with disney characters and even told my mum about it. It's weird how I've pretty much been doing it for most of my life now.
Can you guys remember when you started maladaptive daydreaming?
This might be a little bit jumbly or hard to understand, and I'm really sorry about that.
I have been a daydreamer for my whole life, and there have been many times where I got lost in thought as a kid, thinking about a character I made bursting through the wall of the classroom or my future self taking me away from my life. I have always loved putting headphones on, pacing around and getting lost in worlds and stories of my creation. Though it was probably always a coping mechanism, in the last 6 or 7 years it has been taking over my life. I am 18 years old, almost 19, and the only times I have really loved being alive, I wasn't even living. My reality is my dreams and reality feels like a dream. The only thing I love to do in reality is watch videos on writing, psychology, and other sciences.
I think I might also have anhedonia, though I hope the numbness is just a symptom of the dream-like state that I am constantly in as opposed to a permanent thing.
Im writing this on a whim, I doubt Dr. K will see it, and I don't know what he would say if he did. I don't know what to do.
Would love to hear other's advice or experiences as well.
Edit: I'd also like to add that I am terrified of reality, which is presumably why, when I can't be in my daydream, I am just numb. When I try to do anything that would put me out of that state, like writing my stories and ideas down, I get very anxious. Most of the time, when I write, it is on a whim or just in a haze, try to get it out of the way before I return.
Plus, while I was watching Dr. K's video on Maladaptive Daydreaming, I paused multiple times to start anxiously pacing around again. So I guess I'm also afraid of learning what the core issue is. I'm glad there is a word for it though, I feel less distant from the world.
Hi everyone, I am wondering how closely related DID is with Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD.) MD is a relatively newly discovered disorder where people feel like they are addicted to the worlds in their heads. They know these worlds are not real and they enjoy them, but they feel addicted to them and often feel like they prefer them to real life. So, it's not the same as DID but some people definitely have both. https://maladaptivedaydreamers.com/newsletter/ I created some resources about MD as well as this free newsletter created by 5 members of the MD community. We are thinking about doing an article on the relationship between MD and DID in an upcoming issue of the newsletter. You can sign up for the newsletter at the link above. I would also be interested in hearing people's thoughts on the relationship between MD and DID.
Is my habit of procrastinating everything ( even though it's so important) is because of Maladaptive daydreaming? What are your thoughts?
I don’t like daydreaming a lot and I always wonder what people think about when they don’t have stupid scenarios in their head frequently
It held off a lot of pain. My brain would be even more warped if I let the loneliness hit me full force.
But it's time to wake up, so the pain has to come anyway.
I'm going through a lot right now.
Hello everyone. I literally just learned what MD is because of a tik tok!! I’ve been in and out of therapy due to possible bipolar and depression. Not sure if I have bipolar anymore after learning about MD. But that’s a different story. I never told my therapists about this life cause I thought I was crazy. All my life I have stayed up late for hours acting out the life of this character named Linda. She’s literally perfect, has loyal friends, large family, has her own traumas, crazy love life, losses, stardom, power, beauty. I remember creating her around age 13. She’s been growing and blossoming since then.
Since watching this tik tok that came on my fyp I was in literal shock. This has a name and other people are going through this! I’m in literal disbelief. I cannot believe this. I’ve never actively googled this and never considered it a day dream. It was just my way of life. If I had alone time, I was linda.
I’ve been reading about this for the last hour. I have yet to see many who are living a great adult life with children/spouse deal with this
The time I’m day dreaming is literally wasted time. Sometimes I go up to my room to “shower” just to act out these scenarios. Or sometimes the kids are put to bed early so I can continue where I left off. I’ll be up for hours doing this. And sometimes the events are so emotionally draining I’m Crying as if this is real life. Or I’m
Getting butterflies or having deep conversations. I’m so tired in the am and my husband will ask why you slept at 8 but he doesn’t know I was up until midnight sometimes 1am (he works a long shift so I sometimes have nights without him). Sometimes when the kids are in school my entire day is living this day dream! And I realized I’ve gotten nothing done. Some days I don’t feel like being in the day dream and I tend to watch more tv those days or be social.
It has gotten to the point where I’m feeling so mentally drained by this all. All the late nights trying to find the perfect mate for Linda to fall in love with, the falling asleeping having her new plot play out in my head. The obsession has gotten so bad this last year that I’ve had actual dreams where I’m her. And I wake up terrified.
I really want this to end. I want to enjoy my kids without having to think about Linda’s next plot line. Should I make her die?! Should I make her so repulsive. I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified if my spouse finds out this deep secret. I’m also scared someone is watching me
... keep reading on reddit ➡What's the worst thing happen to you because of Maladaptive daydreaming ? Any change in lifestyle, behavior, any incidents, anything. For me personally it took my whole life and made it a daydream.. No reality nothing. I hate myself.
I’ve been watching a lot of movies/TV shows as well as listening to new music than usual during lockdown and I’ve found that I’m inserting myself into each of these pieces of media and it’s completely ruined the experience, yet I can’t help it. I’ve definitely been doing it pre-lockdown but I’ve only realised recently. Has anyone noticed anything similar?
Because my sure does. Whenever i even look at the picture of someone I don't like, I'm jealous of etc. I immediately start pacing around. Imagining i'm doing something interesting enough, to catch their attention and maybe even earn their respect etc. It's kinda the same, with my crush, lol 😂
Everytime I watch a show, I imagine I’m a character in it. Like, all of my favorite tv shows at one point I’ve imagine myself into the cast. Does anyone else imagine this as well?
Its a world that never was
New life
A new beginning
A new adolescence
I reform back into my teenaged body
A kind woman embraces me
Tells me the words I needed but did not receive
Of all the mother figures that drifted in and out
From being prematurely born into an opioid legacy,
Watching the velvet couch serve as her deathbed as she drowned in her own body
From the next one who punished her children and tried to discipline me
From the next one who destroyed a toddler's memories and found amusement in my pain
From the next one who promised she was safe and slowly broke me down to the beginning again
From all the ones who decided to know and slice their way into my life
Here she is
The one I waited for since I was a child
The one I knew I didn't deserve
The words
"You are here, you are loved, you are my child"
The pain lifts
The wounds heal
At last
I found the one thats putting me back together again
This is the place I always wanted to be in
I have but world enough and time
We stand at the observation deck of the Scott Monument
The Princes Street Garden is humming with a golden glow
The sky
Red
Be it sundown or sunrise
And you look at me as I look at you
Two teen boys
In a new beginning
A new life
A new adolescence
Me?
Normally stoic
But with you onscreen
Butterflies and giddiness
I don't know why
You were a revisited 90s crush I hid from the world
From riding dirt bikes through barren canals whilst being pursued by liquid metal
Waiting for the man in shades to save you
To grieving and digging up graves
Stalked by dead dogs and recent ghosts
To being on the the run for a tragedy staining the snow
To being akin to me
A lonely outcast in love with the Darkness
Staring out the window forever longing for connection
My cheesy headcanons of you being a fellow Autist
Two kindred spirits
So here we are at last
That sheepish grin and those warm eyes
Burning through the shadow of your bangs
And piercing my own eyes
Ironically, no Hollywood romance
Virginity and its loss irrelevant
Because there is nothing more intimate than being here
With you
My imaginary friend
An avatar of an actor
There are no mawkish parades or nationalistic flags in lines of multicolour
Here we both stand
On this day
No planned routes
No rushing ahead
Just this
And all I want
Is what I hope you want too
I just want you to hold my hand
I remember those lyrics from Touched by Vast
"I looked into your eyes andSaw a world that d
... keep reading on reddit ➡ever since I remember myself, I've been having daydreams centered around verbal, physical or sexual abuse, including rape, torture etc.
I'm aware that usually MD has to do with pleasant daydreams, but what about the above?
does anyone have such daydreams, at least occasionally?
His name is Ashton.
I can hear him talking to me. (don't worry they're not auditory hallucinations)
He also takes control of my body at times.
The weird thing about being controlled though is that he tends to just want to play and that's it. He's 17 btw. Nothing wrong with that though.
I remember when I first met him he told me he formed due to my MD and that he is an imaginary friend.
The best part? I have zero control over him. So, he feels like a real friend that's stuck in my mind.
I graduated from college last year and I couldn't get into any master's program. I decided to take a year gap to prepare for entrance exams again. However, I cannot sit down to study. I have ADHD(self diagnosed) and Maladaptive Daydreaming since I was eight. For many months after my college, I have tried to discipline myself but, I couldn't. I have been in therapy since May last year but, my life hasn't changed for the better, in fact, it has gotten worse. I went to therapy after already having done a lot of psychoanalysis upon myself and I went to her looking for guidance to move forward in life. However, she keeps talking about my past and sympathises with me and says a lot of generic stuff but nothing as insightful as Dr K. My childhood was horrible and I remember every single thing; however, I cannot bring myself to be blunt with her because I don't want to be rude. It is difficult for me to pay her fees because I am poor and I live in a third world country.
I'm trying to get a masters degree in a field(Computer Science) that I actually have no interest in. My true passion is writing and I had even finished writing a 65,000 words manuscript back in 2020 that I never went back to revising or editing. I am currently writing another book. However, I cannot pursue that because it does not pay well and I don't want to be poor. I have no interest in being the typical tortured artist.
I only have four months before all my entrance exams and, I still got a lot to study. Whenever I open my books, there is just so much to do and because of my ADHD, sitting down is so hard that I get anxious and I start daydreaming to sooth myself. Waking up early in the morning is not helping either because I still get anxious when I start studying. I can hardly sit for two hours whereas I should be studying for eight hours. My Maladaptive Daydreaming have made my life completely empty and I have no past achievements and it has robbed me off of any possibility to have a social life. I am literally friendless, no job, no relationship; I stay in my room all day either on youtube watching Healthygamergg videos again and again or I am daydreaming. Whenever people meet me they think that I am a studious nerd that makes me feel misunderstood but, I don't know how to respond when people have the wrong impression about me. They look down upon me and disrespect me. What am I supposed to tell them? That I daydream so much that its an addiction and I am not a nerd? How will I even say
... keep reading on reddit ➡Hello all,
I am in my thirties now and found out there's a name to this condition probably 10 years ago on a social anxiety forum. I have generalized anxiety, depression and ADHD too for context.
I can't remember when I started daydreaming, I think I had some level of daydreams but not maladaptively as a child, it feels like it was a form of escapism for me especially during my teenage years, when I moved several times, had self-confidence issues and struggled to make friends. At the time, I thought I'd love to actually write a book or something based on my daydreams, but I felt like I could never develop a substantial plot enough for it to be a good book. In my daydreams, either it's another character who shares similar traits as me but is not me but is on a trajectory to a more socially robust life than me in terms of friends and romance or it's me pretending like I'm in a music video or TV show or something. In a way, I feel like my daydreams are me vicariously experiencing positive social interactions or exuding confidence in myself in ways I'm unable to in reality.
While my daydreams can be distracting sometimes, I think that I am able to keep it at a minimum especially if I have important work or deadlines, but I do think that daydreams had the potential to be distracting if school got too intense or if lectures were starting to get too boring-I think this may be however just an expected outcome of depression and/or ADHD. Something I noticed was that in times where I did have a robust friendship group or liked somebody romantically, my daydreams were greatly minimized because I was able to get the fulfillment I was looking for in real life. Even though I would still daydream to an extent I'd imagine conversations or interactions with friends or a crush, I don't really think I'd consider it maladaptive.
So yeah-now I'm in my thirties, I don't really have close friends at all, I've given up on romance honestly and don't even think I truly desire it because of all the headaches that come with that kind of a relationship. I do think that the mundaneness of routine with a dwindling social support system can weigh heavily on me sometimes that when I watch some TV/movies, I feel attached to the plot in some way as if I'm immersed in the story and then when I have to remind myself it's not real, I get saddened that that I can't find that fulfillment in reality.
I empathize with everybody else who deals with maladaptive daydreaming and wish you all well!
I have exams in 2 weeks and I'm trying to read everyday but I'm having very little progress. I remember the things I've read while focused on the study material. But most of the time, my mind is just wandering to Dreamland and it's so exhausting to bring myself back and force myself to focus that it takes up to 90% of my reading time.
So please, please can anyone here give suggestions on how I can focus on my studies long enough to get atleast 3-4 hours of reading done everyday?
Any and all help is appreciated. Thank you in advance!
Hey so I’m new to reddit and recently discovered the condition of maladaptive daydreaming. I’ve realized I’ve been doing this pretty much my whole life as far back as I can remember. My daydreaming has evolved over the years but I’d say it’s been pretty consistent the last 8 years or so following the same story line (to give context I’m a 23 year old man) I daydream ultimately about being just a better version of my self, a leaner taller better looking version of me who’s successful in various business ventures and who was a professional athlete, I envision myself doing various actives such as talking to the media, having a supportive wife and a family (more to that latter) and many celebrity friends like drake, James harden just to name a few. My wife in my dreamworld is a girl I was good friends with in high school, who I had a massive crush on but never pursued.
To give some context into my life I currently am working two jobs and in university, I’ve had a troubled past, nothing too serious but I never took school seriously barely graduated highschool because I barely went and did the bare minimum and I’ve dropped out of university twice to work, once in the first year after the first week and last year when covid hit I took the year off but I decided to go back because I’m am 3/4ths done my degree and it would be a waste to stop at this point, currently I work in retail and in a steel factory in total about 55 hours a week and have a part time course load in university, so I’m staying very busy, my only two days off since the semester started were Christmas and thanksgiving day. I’ve also suffered from gambling and drug problems in recent years I am clean this past year but still recouping the financial loss from the those activity’s hence why I’m working so much.
I’ve realized the only time I’m not daydreaming is when I’m working particularity when I’m engaged In highly physical non repetitive activities, if I’m doing mundane tasks like for example washing dishes at work, or even in school in the lecture is boring my mind is somewhere else, at home I’m constantly daydreaming eating dinner with my family,lying in bed,studying, some nights late at night when everyone asleep in my house I’ll put my headphones in listening to music and walk in circles and daydream for hours. I would say 80% of my free time when I’m not engaged in active tasks I am daydreaming, sometimes these daydreams manifest themselves and slip out into the real world if somethi
... keep reading on reddit ➡I won't drag this on, I'm not really happy with life, partner is gone and I get happy when they're back. Is it bad to daydream about us together often?
I am autistic and have ADHD and I experience lots of maladaptive daydreaming symptoms. However, I talked to my mother, who is a doctor, and she said that it’s probably just my ADHD or autism. How would one be able to tell the difference between ADHD/autism daydreaming and maladaptive daydreaming?
Does anybody else struggle with Maladaptive Daydreaming? What are some ways you've dealt with over the years?
Earliest memory of it was when was just 5-6 y/o. Now have graduated high school and still have it, though now more high functioning. People don’t seem to realise it, back then it was ridiculously obvious. They thought it was ADHD due to the inability to remain focused and/or concentrated.
Does all maladaptive daydreaming come from trauma, or can people be born with it? Cause this was even before had most of trauma (that can remember), or is there something that can’t remember that caused it?
Could like to hear from people who also have it, or had it.
I just watched Dr K’s recent video that you can find here:
https://youtu.be/YUSi9tzdNiE
This topic is awesome! I loved this video.
For some background, I study psychology and have a bachelors degree in psych. Despite this, what I’m about to say is just a hypothesis but some may find it interesting.
Recently, I built a hypothesis about attention being a major mechanism of dissociation. Particularly, if someone is traumatized, this may be a conditioned response to trauma in which a cue might trigger an escapist strategy of averting attention away from stressful stimuli.
Dissociation from painful stimuli might be rewarding on some level. Depending on how strongly rewarding and intensely satisfying the dissociative strategy is, we might develop very reflexive and almost Pavlovian responses to the stressful stimuli or anything vaguely related to the traumatic stimuli. I think maladaptive daydreaming could sometime be addictive because it allows us to escape unhappy situations similar to what video games could provide.
As for ADHD, it may be similarly about what rewards our attention. In the case of maladaptive daydreaming, daydreaming may be more rewarding than school or whatever other boring task.
There is a post about my hypothesis below. It explores incentive saliency in relation to these topics. The post also extends into the possible mechanisms of psychedelics and also schizophrenic hallucinations. It also covers the idea that we are kind of always “dissociated” from some aspects of what we could be aware of. Those with dissociative disorders are just dissociated differently than their usual way or differently from others or in such a way that is unproductive to their lives. This gets very complicated though. It is somewhat explained in the posts linked below.
https://mad.science.blog/2021/09/16/attention-as-the-mechanism-of-dissociation/
There is a far more complicated essay I wrote about this topic that I’ll leave as well. As a warning, this one is much more neuroscience and academic so it might be difficult to read if you aren’t usually reading papers on these topics. I’m sure many of you actually do read such papers though. There are sections on dissociation and hallucinations for this one. Also, keep in mind that this is hypothetical and shouldn’t be taken as truth.
https://mad.science.blog/2021/11/30/making-sense-of-madness-stress-induced-hallucinogenesis/
Hello my fellow MDers, I have already mentioned before that Without MD I can't sleep.... I usually spend 12 hours on bed everyday which includes 5 hours of daydreaming but that's not it, I feel sleepy for the whole day.I mean feeling sleepy for whole day everyday is strange. Also I take care of my eating habits so Is this the result of Maladaptive daydreaming? Do you guys also feel exhausted every time or it's just me? Also I have constant headaches through out the whole day ..is this happen to you too?
I’ve been meditating and see myself more mindful in day to day life… problem is I have an addiction to maladaptive daydreaming and if you don’t know what that is essential I can put on music and get myself into a deep daydreaming which is all but rumination and imagining things. I can do this for several hours. I am doing it less though and am trying to stop. I just feel like from a certain perspective it might be counter-intuitive. What do you think?
personally speaking, I haven't experienced myself being part of a daydream since preadolescence. ever since then, there have been other people and characters with their own unique personalities and stuff.
do you see yourself in your paracosms or completely other characters?
Does anyone get super angry about small things the whole day when they come back in reality after maladaptive dreaming?
Is it because I get stressed when I come back in reality and stress makes me angry??
Many psychologists say visualisation is a great self development tool. I suffer from social anxiety and and have maladaptive dreaming. While daydreaming, I can feel all the associated emotions: joy, excitement, confidence. I thought maybe I can put my daydreaming to ise by visualising my goals. However I have been unsuccessful at visualising my goals and goal processes. Whenever I try to visualise consciously , I find a huge resistance build up inside of me. Has anyone in this group channeled your daydreams into goal oriented visualisation?
Hi everyone,
I wanted to share our discord server for maladaptive daydreamers who want to work on Writing. We do daily sprints together, workshops a few times a month, and voice chats as well. Anyone is welcome to join, also if you just want to lurk and see what it's all about! You can write or work on anything here. Many write about their worlds and stories - either into a book, web comics, or another artistic form. Others do homework and use the sprints to manage their time (me, ahaha). The idea is to improve time management and get a schedule down for writing.
We are also there for each other, when daydreaming gets too hard, and when you just need to vent or share.
This Friday at 8PM EST we are doing a prompt sprint together for an hour over voice chat, where the moderator shares a prompt (either a random dialogue or item or scenery you need to describe) and then you get 10 minutes to write something down. Afterwards we share and discuss.
https://discord.gg/eHquUBtF?event=927976165912748103
Hope to see some of you in the server and feel free to also dm me if you have any questions or concerns.
I decided to quit maladaptive daydreaming cold turkey a few days ago and have been successful so far. I have been reducing my MD for about two weeks and fully stopped two days ago. Yesterday was difficult but I didn’t relapse. Today is difficult and I actually decided to MD for a couple of minutes but couldn’t do it (which I guess is a good thing?). I am surprised at my progress because my MD has been integral to my life since I was 8 years old (and I am nearly 21 now). Despite my success, I have been experiencing intense irritability and frustration for the past 2 days. My brain feels like it is on fire. I am also feeling very anxious and on edge. My heart is pounding in my chest, I’m having nervous gut problems, and I feel like I may be having hot flashes. Has anyone else experienced this while trying to quit MD?
I only realized I had a problem about 4 months ago, but I was thinking and I remembered having issues with daydreaming as far back as 2018. I honestly don't know what to do at this point. It keeps getting worse, and worse. I think I started daydreaming as a coping mechanism since 2018 is where everything went wrong for me.. But I don't know.. I just wanna know, how long have you guys been daydreaming? I'm curious.
Does anyone maladaptive day dream?
