My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Making money selling stuff online is easy.

I just sold my homing pigeon for the 15th time!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keano4
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Not really sure this is a dad joke but my daughter just confused us both. She's making bracelets and said she plans to sell them for 50 cents to raise money for her school.

She said she'll give half to her school and keep a quarter for herself.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Making money in the dog exercising business

is a walk in the park.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
When the flutist found out she was making less money than the cellist was making...

She wondered what the bass salary is.

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
They're making a movie about when Bruce Wayne loses all his money.

Batman and ramen

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ealaney
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm a historian who studies the American Civil War. Unfortunately, it's been hard making money at this.

So I applied for a General Grant.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad kept talking and babbling about making money and it didn’t understand.

While he was talking, I finally said angrily β€œYou don’t make any cents!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sad_Depression
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy works in a bar called Advice, and he is making a lot of money.

He gets really good tips.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
This guy was making big money before he was arrested

About an 1/8 inch too big, which was kind of how they caught him.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report
People keep making fun of me for investing other people's money in comedy clubs

I'm a laughing stock

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the pastry so obsessed with making money?

He was was a dough-nut ;)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What d'you call the amount of money a fortune-teller can make in a month, making predictions? [OC]

Her prophet margin!

..Not sorry, I've got to build up my repertoire of original jokes before my daughter's old enough to groan at them.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HylianHal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2014
🚨︎ report
I know a family of Artists but I am not sure how they make so much Money

Very Sketchy People

πŸ‘︎ 426
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/omarsrstt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried to make money as a sculptor,

but I could only get the heads right so I went bust.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I make money by selling simple sandwiches

It's my bread and butter

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrZxAlan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vegetable that makes money?

Corn on the job

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-umop-apisdn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Now that the Fall is officially here, I can't wait to make tons of extra money gathering leaves..

.. last year I raked it in.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
As a single dad money can be tight. But even when I’m on a date and I know I’m not attracted to her, I still like to get the door for her and let her walk through. It makes her feel appreciated.

And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skullchin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know how much money an assassin makes...

but I bet they make a killing!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HeroUnit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently people make money flipping houses.

I tried the other day but mine is far too heavy.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My dairy farmer friend is always complaining about how little money he makes.

I think he’s just milking it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my fisherman friend, β€œHow much money do you make for your catch?”

He said, β€œI don’t discuss my .....net worth.”

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
When you gotta make Music at 8 but wash Money at 10
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ni_ko_98
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?

They only get paid in tips.

πŸ‘︎ 340
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is a sushi chef and makes a ton of money.

He drives a Rolls-Rice.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTeddly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
People only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make

Then they call me ugly and poor

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGregGreg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How much money do professional ice skaters make in a year?

Eight figures but unfortunately they can't access it because their accounts are frozen.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RickC-249
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is running for treasurer and needs to make an eight second video for the video announcing the candidates, any good quick money puns for that?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onherejustforfun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't dog lawyers make any money?

Because they are pro bone-O.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AtlantaBanana
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How'd the crematorium owner make all his money?

He urned it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If you’re going to put your money on something, make it yeast

It will always make your dough rise.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/petersize10
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Some people say that mega churches exist to make money

But I think they are all about the prophets

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A poker player would never make any money if he sat in a folding chair.
  • My dad.
πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/resmungomandinga
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is it easy to make money out of manufacturing rulers?

Because of the economies of scale.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
They always said if I wanted to make a difference, I should put my money where my mouth is.

I can really taste the change.

πŸ‘︎ 553
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Krumm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
If money makes the world go round...

The Earth cant be flat.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Goalie98
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Nihilistic works of art don't make a lot of money....

Because its a Nietzsche market

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/urmil0071
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The truth is that neither love nor money that makes the world go round

It’s F=G(m1m2)/r^2

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.

I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then i realised "am i really this shellfish"?
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anti-vaxxer-hater
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.

The poor man dyed a loan.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do we tell actors to β€œbreak a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kattykat21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine is making easy money by photographing salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend is making a lot of easy money by photographing salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If you want to make easy money, just take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
LPT: A quick and easy way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If you want to make easy money, just take photographs of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

πŸ‘︎ 120
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Looking forward to the Fall, when I can make serious money gathering leaves..

..Raked it in last year.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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