Magna Moralia Puns

"Suddenly, Pythagoras came to a sudden halt. A vast fava bean field stretched before him. He stood frozen, uncertain what to do. His head turned from left to right, in desperation his gaze fell upon the closest beans stalks, just inches away from his papyrus-bound feet The voices of the angry mob grew louder each minute. His pursuers were catching up with him. Frightened, frozen by the thought of inflicting any harm to these most sacred of plants to him, thought of his own demise not as the end but rather one measly stop in the continuous journey of the immortal soul through all living creatures. Butchers cleavers, machetes and many other available weapons, which Pythagoras was so opposed to, came down hard on him spilling blood on his pure white robe, and on the plants which he held so dearly, and thus ending his life."

Supposedly, the towering philosopher of Ancient Greece was a vegetarian. And this gives me an excellent subject for this Veganuary's recipe!

Pythagoras, the father of mathematics, was born and raised in Samos, around 580BCE. He is one of the most acclaimed pre-Socratic philosophers. Samos is a green island known for its mixed flora, full of mountains and plains, the most fertile of the latter being modern-day Pythagorio [named after the philosopher] and Marathòkampos. Olive groves are covering most of these plains.

"But, but but....what has that to do with old recipes???" I hear you ask!

Patience! All will be revealed! Anyway back to our story!

Even though Pythagoras spent more than forty years in the beautiful island of his birth, he eventually decided to set sail for new adventures, overseas; his curiosity for wisdom led him to travel throughout most of the then known world, most notably Egypt and Babylon; centres of wisdom, knowledge and secret mystical rites, before according to most accounts settling down to Croton, a town in Magna Graecia, modern Southern Italy. He may have found eager pupils to follow him, and welcoming ears to listen to his preaching. Pythagoras the vegetarian claimed that this diet had, by Demeter, been taught to Hercules, when he was sent into the Libyan deserts. This preserved his body in an unchanging condition; not at one time well, and at another time sick, nor at one time fat, and at another lean.

Despite all his proclamations for vegetarianism, he strikes us curiously in his belief on not eating beans. Healthy, cheap, sustaining, nutritious beans and pulses in ge

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Most lexicons draw a distinction between "cat" (αἴλουρος) and "weasel" (γαλέη > γαλῆ). In fact, LSJ and Middle Liddell give no indication that γαλῆ is ever interchangeable with αἴλουρος, even though there are several examples of γαλῆ translated as "cat".

Having reviewed lots of those example (below), it makes me wonder how translators adjudicate between these animals, when the term γαλῆ is used and context is limited. Do they just assume it's some kind of weasel, unless there's some indication that it's more likely a cat? Sometimes when I see it translated as weasel, I wonder if it doesn't actually refer to a cat.

The Greek Βικιλεξικό entry for γαλέη indicates that the term can refer to different small animals, such as the weasel, ferret or cat. The English Wiktionary entry for γαλέη (like LSJ and Middle Leddell) says nothing of the sort. Why is there a disconnect?

Under the Βικιλεξικό entry for the contracted form γαλῆ it gives a quotation from Herodotus, where (oddly enough) "γαλαῖ" is translated as "γατιά" (kittens), where Loeb's translation has "weasels". So in this example, for instance, how do we know what animal is actually being referred to?

Having reviewed this and many other examples (below), it seems like αἴλουρος refers unambiguously to a "cat". But when γαλῆ is used, it seems like a coin toss. In some cases where "weasel" is used, I wonder how we can't rule out "cat" as the referent in the given context.

For instances, were superstitions about cats originally superstitions about weasels? Wikipedia has some information on this that's gleaned from a book called Cat, by Katharine M. Rogers.

Per Wikipedia:

>Domestic cats were probably first introduced to Greece and southern Italy in the fifth century BC by the Phoenicians. The earliest unmistakable evidence of the Greeks having domestic cats comes from two coins fro

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

For those that don't know the monkeys are:

The three wise monkeys are a Japanese pictorial maxim, embodying the proverbial principle "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil". The three monkeys are

• Mizaru, who sees no evil, covering his eyes
• Kikazaru, who hears no evil, covering his ears and
• Iwazaru, who speaks no evil, covering his mouth.

==================================================================================

Origin:

The source that popularized this pictorial maxim is a 17th-century carving over a door of the famous Tōshō-gū shrine in Nikkō, Japan. The carvings at Tōshō-gū Shrine were carved by Hidari Jingoro, and believed to have incorporated Confucius’s Code of Conduct, using the monkey as a way to depict man’s life cycle. There are a total of eight panels, and the iconic three wise monkeys picture comes from panel 2. The philosophy, however, probably originally came to Japan with a Tendai-Buddhist legend, from China in the 8th century (Nara Period). It has been suggested that the figures represent the three dogmas of the so-called middle school of the sect.

In Chinese, a similar phrase exists in the late Analects of Confucius from 2nd to 4th century B.C.: "Look not at what is contrary to propriety; listen not to what is contrary to propriety; speak not what is contrary to propriety; make no movement which is contrary to propriety" (非禮勿視，非禮勿聽，非禮勿言，非禮勿動). It may be this phrase that inspired the pictorial maxim after it was brought into Japan.

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Meaning of the proverb

Just as there is disagreement about the origin of the phrase, there are differing explanations of the meaning of "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil".

• In Buddhist tradition, the tenets of the proverb are about not dwelling on evil thoughts.
• The proverb and the image are often used to refer to a lack of moral responsibility on the part of people who refuse to acknowledge impropriety, looking the other way or feigning ignorance.
• It may also signify a code of silence in gangs, or organized crime.

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Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

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https://captajitvadakayil.in/2021/04/11/vadakayils-truth-exhuming-poll-no-158/

This planet deserves to know how a teenaged Jewess who grew up to be Mother Teresa used the BOOK OF JOB to convert his lowest hand of cards dealt to her by God, to the HIGHEST OF FOUR ACES.. I know the inside story of devil incarnate Mother Teresa from a couple of Kerala nurses who served her personally for decades in Calcutta Nirmal Hriday.. She had the BOOK OF JOB ( Ayyubinte Pustakam ) at her bedside, not the Binle..Evil Mother Teresa was converted to a saint by the Pope , she secured the Nobel Prize and Bharat Ratna. Teresa was among the top 10 women in the annual Gallup's most admired man and woman poll a record 18 times.. As a teenager young Teresa ( Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu ) born in current nation of Kosovo, weighed her options in life.. She was at rock bottom and could not sink any further.. Her Jew father died in 1919 AD when she was just eight leaving her mother and sister impoverished.. She would arrive in India when she was 18 years old as a nun .. As a teenager with height of four feet fuck all, she was bald with no hair.. Teresa dropped out of school unable to bear the taunts of her beautiful classmates, as she was hideously ugly, with razor thin lips , over sized Jewish nose, and a figure like a sack of rotten potatoes.. Her own mother and sister could not tolerate her mean disposition.. Teresa found the nun’s garb a great equalizer, like the Islamic Burqa which equalized the most beautiful woman and the ugliest woman.. Teresa would trump JOB and god. Teresa asked her mother to sell her to the Irish Catholic church for a sum of money.. When she arrived at the Loretto Abbey Ireland as a teenager she was treated with great contempt by the Irish/ Scottish nurses as she knew no English and treated this dishonest nun for what she was worth, making her clean toilets. They hated Teresa for her mean ness and made her eat separate . Teresa knew this would happen.. She complained and asked for a transfer to India, where she knew Bengalis worshipped the white skin , and she was white. Thus started her journey—excelsior—ever upwards.. Before she died she would be worth Billions of US Dollars. She would dine with the Pope, kings and presidents ..She received doctorate degrees from almost all prestigious Western

I was just sitting there doing nothing.