I heard Macy's is selling this new perfume that has that "new Tesla smell"

They're calling it 'Elon Musk'.

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📅︎ Aug 26 2022
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Why did Quasimodo use the freight elevator at Macy's?

He wanted to get a leg up on holiday shopping, but couldn't deal with the escalating stares.

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👤︎ u/gracius0ne
📅︎ Dec 15 2021
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Couldn't find a "puking her brains our after seeing this pun" Macy, unfortunately.
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📅︎ Aug 01 2021
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Happened yesterday at Macy's

My dad and I were looking for perfume or lotion for my sister. A woman comes up to ask us for help and she does help us. When she is checking us out in line, my dad finally says to her "You know, in all my years I've never met a girl with the name Vendor before."

It said vendor on her name tag instead of her name.

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📅︎ Dec 19 2013
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Macy Day Parade DadJoke

Watching the Macy's Day Parade. Some band with Dancers come on the screen.

Me- Wow, these dancers are very out of sync with each other.

Dad- That's why they are not named NSYNC.

...

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👤︎ u/ZekeEasy
📅︎ Nov 28 2013
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So I had the idea of going to workout at the YMCA

I asked my dad if he wanted to go and he said "Sure, I'll drive."

10 minutes later we pulled up to a Macy's and I said "This isn't the YMCA?" My dad said "Yeah it is, some guy just spelled it wrong."

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📅︎ May 21 2017
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I have a black belt.

I don't know karate, but the sales clerk at Macy's didn't seem to care.

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👤︎ u/BadA55Name
📅︎ Mar 22 2018
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My Dad and I were out looking at potential Father's Day gifts..

We're at our local Macy's near where they display their watches, and my Dad always loves new ones every year.

One of the employees came up and asked my dad if he needed any help..

My dad replies: "No thank you, we're just watching."

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👤︎ u/NvaderGir
📅︎ Jun 15 2014
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Dating Drama

I went on a few dates with a girl who works at Macy's. We chat a lot and then she sprung a weird question on me. She said, "my boss thinks you're cute and wants your number. Should I give it to her?" I told her I'd prefer to keep dating her and not her boss, but if she just wanted to be friends, then she could give her my number, which she did.

When I told this story to my dad, he said, "you could date both of them at the same time and choose the most interesting one." I said, "that sounds like that could be a reality show" and without missing a beat he said, "yeah, it could be called Macy's Date Parade."

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📅︎ Jan 05 2015
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