A list of puns related to "M G M"
and not ?
Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.
Because they're all not 'C's.
Son: βHi, Furious. Iβm son.β
PS Furious didnβt laugh, do not attempt.
Happy No L!
58
It was a blowout
Halloween is approaching and I am making some punny tombstone decorations, in the spirit of Disney's Haunted Mansion cemetery. I thought it would be fun to collect some new ones from the reddit community. Here are Disney's crypt puns. Please share any additional ones that you can come up with.
... E deer, F deer, G deer, H deer, I deer, J deer, K deer, L deer, M deer, N deer, P deer, Q deer, R deer, S deer, T deer, U deer, V deer, W deer, X deer, Y deer and Z deer.
Wait.. did I miss one out? O deer
βyes but just to prove youβve been paying attention Iβd like you to recite the alphabet firstβ
So with his best effort the boy replies βA B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Zβ
The teacher says βvery good but what happened to the P?β
βWell this took so long itβs running down my legβ
I went to an Eskimo restaurant and asked the waiter what was on the menu. The waiter said: "There is whale meat; whale meat; whale meat or Vera Lynn." I asked, "What's Vera Lynn?" The waiter replied "w-h-a-l-e-m-e-a-t-a-g-a-i-n!"
The tides have turned... http://m.imgur.com/zAimxvG
It was a foursome... Al, Jerry and Gerry. To ease confusion, we just call the (G)Jerryβs by the first letter of their name... so Jay and Gee.
Anyways, we were playing the other day and I could tell that someone was wearing cologne. Why on a golf course? I donβt know.
Now Iβm kinda sensitive to odors and aromas and, sure enough, after a few holes, my eyes start to water and I start to sneeze.
I turn to Jay and say βI think Iβm allergic to someoneβs cologneβ
Jay responds, βHmmm, Iβm not wearing cologne, it must be Al or Geeβsβ
G: Iβm going to the bathroom
B: Fine...
G: Hey! Thereβs a turd in the toilet in the shape of the letter U
B: Donβt you understand?
G: Hmm?
B: I dumped you
I'm thinking of opening a shopping center which specializes in only the stores you can never seem to find when you want them. For instance:
My wife, 2 year old son, and I were traveling this past week and went through a drive thru for lunch. After finishing his meal, my son was trying to figure out what the bag said. Not being able to turn around and see what he is seeing, the following exchange took place.
Wife "Do you know what the letters are on the bag?"
Son "Yes!"
Wife " Tell me what the letters are"
Son "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z!"
Me "Was that his first dad joke?"
Wife "He is definitely your son" and rolled her eyes.
Discovered this today while hanging a curtain rod.
I am using the zircon one step stud finder, seen here http://m.acehardware.com//product/index.jsp?productId=1298011&KPID=997266&cid=CAPLA:G:Shopping_-Measuring_Tools/Marking_Tools-_New&pla=pla_997266&k_clickid=21a0e1ae-1f94-44cd-b27e-a6a83ba1fdc1
Begin by using the stud finder to locate a stud as normal. Release the button.
Lift the stud finder off the wall slightly and press the button. This will help calibrate the stud finder to "empty space", making it think that any hard surface is a stud.
Quickly place the stud finder on your chest, onto your breastbone, the stud finder should beep indicating it is on a stud.
Make joke as normal
This saves you from making the beep noise yourself, which, in my opinion weakens the joke.
This way the tool itself confirms that you're a stud.
G-grandpa M-Me
M- complains about homework
G- You know, sometimes I have a bad attitude as well. Have I ever told you about my Rectum Oculus?
M- ????
G- I have a nerve in my rectum that connects to my eyeball.
M- What?
G- Sometimes, I have a shitty outlook on life.
M-Y-N-A-M-E-I-N-G-R-E-E-K
Son gives me a hurt look and I can't stop laughing. Wife just rolls her eyes at me.
Me:M
Guy:G
M: Hello, may I help you?
G: Yes, number four, plain, no tax.
M: Ok, that will be $7.29
G: Ok (Hands over $7.30, (every time))
M: Ok, here's your change ($0.01)
G: Oh look I won the lottery!
M: (Awkward smile after hearing joke, once again) Have a good night.
An elderly man asked me for directions today. I asked him if he had a G.P.S. so I could help him program it.
His response: No, I have an . M.A.P.
Planning out the holiday potluck in the company kitchen.
M: Hey do we have any more of those things to keep the food hot? The chafing dish things. What do you call those?
G: I think they're Bunsen B-... wait no.
B: Burners?
M: Yeah but there's another word for them
G: Yeah. What is it?
B: Burners.
M: No that's not right.
....
M: We should ask Sean Paul. He would know
.... ?
M: Cause he be burnin'.
NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...
No-el no-L
A B C
D E F G
H I J K M N
O P Q R S T U V
W X Y Z
No L, no L
No L, no L
I forgot where I heard this but I use it every year lol
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my fellow redditors!
Why did A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z all get sent to the principal's office?
Because they were naughty! (Not "E")
Student: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, phosphorus, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.
Teacher: How did you say phosphorus instead of L, M, N, O, and P?
Student: Because phosphorus is EL-EM-EN-TAL P.
I received A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z.
I'm missing the iron E.
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