My wife says I'm the cheapest man in the world.

I'm not buying it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/2040009
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Iโ€™m reading a book about a world without gravity...

Itโ€™s impossible to put it down.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 46
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TFeyner
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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I travel all over the world and I'm regular, then I come home and suddenly I'm incontinent.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Motile_Liriodendron
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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Iโ€™m telling my 5yr old about the wonderful world of literature and she says it sounds boring. I responded with

But... itโ€™s lit! Hits the dad dab

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/coloredboyadvance
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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With so much madness in the world today, I'm trying hard to Compose myself...

But I'm going to need a minuet to get a Handel on things, so please Holst on. There's no Haydn from reality, even if I can't stanza much more. I'm guessing the current madness originated in Britten - possibly during the Brahms age. Alas, I'm so Bizet writing my Chopin Liszt I will have to get Bach to you later when I'm Abel to compose my thoughts on how to overcome. GRRRRR.... I keep forgetting to purchase rainbow Schubert and must write that down. I also have to fix my microwave which Baroque earlier today when my son tried to Satie some vegetables. I do wish he would've refrained. Oh, I still have to go to the Barber as well. But, I digress... Once the madness calms down I hope y'all can Ravel in the moment. If you don't understand it, though, that's okay - it's all Grieg to me and I don't want to cause y'all any additional Strauss.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Found out I'm the worst plumber/electrician in the world when I rewired the toilet.

It was a massive shock to the cistern.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kimenon001
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before? /r/ShouldIbuythisgame/comโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JonaSavage17
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I'm entering into the world's tightest hat competition

I hope I can pull it off.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 101
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tanglimara19
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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I'm about to make the world's largest omelette

Best get cracking

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GaryTheKnight
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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I'm the best Assistant DJ in the entire world....

In fact, I hold the record!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Iโ€™ve been looking at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and although Iโ€™m not sure whether itโ€™s the best in the world...

...Itโ€™s definitely up there.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Iโ€™m so poor, I canโ€™t go see the world. The best that I can do...

...is visiting Amazon while on Safari.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/labink
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Iโ€™m a bit uneducated. Whenever the World Health Organization is in the newsโ€ฆ

I gotta ask โ€œWHO?โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/deceze
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I'm organising a funeral for the world's fattest man

That's a big undertaking

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GaryTheKnight
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Iโ€™m off to see the Worldโ€™s biggest gland.

England!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HALsaysSorry
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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Iโ€™m gonna start doing push-ups, Iโ€™m tired of this world pushing me around
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tru-Queer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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I'm still not quite sure I get all the hype about the World Cup...
๐Ÿ‘︎ 307
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tynnyfer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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Everybody keeps telling me Iโ€™m the worldโ€™s worst mailman.

Shit... I was planning to post this somewhere else.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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Iโ€™m the second best fighter in the world.

Iโ€™ve come second in every fight Iโ€™ve ever been in.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aDamnedCanadian
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I'm watching the World Cup

Not because I enjoy soccer. Iโ€™m just doing it for the kicks.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Murphy223
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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My wife says Iโ€™m the cheapest man in the world.

Iโ€™m not buying it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 156
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/waddoheck
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife says I'm the cheapest man in the world...

I'm not buying it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 32
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sleeteater
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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