Lü Meng Puns

Now that DW9E is soon to hit the shelves and that an XL iteration appears unlikely, I’m hoping that KOEI will make some innovations in how they approach the story.

Ideally I’d like all events and cutscenes to exist in the same continuous “universe”, with the exception of a well-thought out what-if scenario, so if Lü Meng kills Guan Yu in the Wu scenario, he kills Guan Yu in the Wei scenario too, as opposed to Xiahou Dun doing it. For some, history gives you no choice, but since DW isn’t exactly a history simulator, you could add more deaths to characters who otherwise disappear from the story into thin air.

If you could entertain that concept, how would you want each character to die?

WANRING! THIS POST IS EXTREMELY LENGTHY, PLEASE IGNORE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY INTEREST IN THIS CONCEPT!

Hello all, I know this idea has been suggested in the past by other users, but the potential I see in something like this is far too strong for me to just pass up and not speak on.

We all know the history of the Three Kingdoms period of China, whether it be from the famous novel, or various games. That said, however, I don't believe we've seen anything that can offer the grueling and immersive experience that something like For Honor could bring to the table when it comes to very popular historical period. With that said, I'd like to offer my own idea for what a new game could be like IF the theme were to be taken.

Story: The story would obviously be set during the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, likely ending around the middle point of the Three Kingdoms period. The beginning phases could act as an introductory point, starting the player off within the Yellow Turban Rebellion, this time whoever, opting to showcase the side of the Imperial army, rather than showcasing the beginning phases of the Three famed warlords that other titles prioritize.

Here we would begin the story utilizing the equivalent of For Honors Warden, the Zhànshì, wielding a great dao. The Imperial Zhànshì would be serving under the infamous tyrant, Dong Dong Zhuo. Zhuo would be leading his forces to eliminate Zhang Jue. Like in history, the battle would be a minor victory, with the end result of Zhang Jue having fled, but the Imperial Zhànshì would see their first true experience of "savagery and hate" through the Yellow Turbans, but, after a fierce encounter with a Yellow Turban Zhànshì, where the Yellow Turban would scold the Imperial for supporting a government full of corruption and explaining the horrors and unnecessary death caused by the failing empire, the Imperial would find himself conflicted, beginning to second guess the Han before killing the Yellow Turban. The Imperial would then see one of the peasant Yellow Turban fighters, begging to be spared, only to have their throat slit by Dong Zhuo, with the Imperial gazing in slight disgust.

From then, we would zoom in on the Imperial only to zoom out shortly there after, showing a transition from the rebellion to the (likely fictional) battle of Hulao Pass. This fight would be harder than the first for players, but only to a slight degree. Here we would see Lü Bu battling among the Imperial army, only to witness h

Obviously missing the total medal count is disappointing, but that doesn't take away from the huge turnout that China made this Olympics with a total of 38 golds and 88 total medals, matching the gold count from the 2012 London games. I'm really proud of all our athletes for an entertaining couple weeks, and for the progress Chinese athletics have made in just a couple decades.

Some big highlights from this Olympics (and let me know some of your favorites!):

• Yang Qian taking the first gold of the competition in 10m air rifle
• Li Wenwen, Wang Zhouyu, Li Fabin, Chen Lijun, Shi Zhiyong, Lü Xiaojun, Hou Zhihui taking a total of 7 weightlifting golds
• Quan Hongchan with her streak of perfect 10s in diving
• Liu Yang with his iconic neck roll on the rings
• Su Bingtian becoming the fastest non-African runner in the world in the 100M
• Chen Meng and Ma Long giving master classes in Table Tennis

Mine is

>Sun Quan and his subjects are celebrating their conquest of Jing Province, with Lü Meng receiving the highest honour. During the banquet, Guan Yu's spirit suddenly possesses Lü Meng, grabs Sun Quan and shouts, "Green-eyed brat! Purple-bearded coward, do you still recognise me?" Sun Quan's subordinates immediately rush forth to save their lord. The possessed Lü Meng shoves Sun Quan away and sits on his seat. With a furious expression on his face, he booms, "Since defeating the Yellow Turban rebels, I have fought in wars for over 30 years. But I lost my life because you used an evil scheme against me. I can't feast on your flesh when I was still alive, but I can still seize Lü Meng's soul after death! I am Guan Yunchang, the Marquis of Hanshou Village." Sun Quan and the others are so terrified that they sink to their knees. Lü Meng collapses and dies, bleeding from seven body orifices.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

I believe i got everyone historical. The remaining characters not listed are all fictional. u/RibokuGreat Was asking about it in a post few days ago. Figured others might enjoy it.

Qin Royalty

1. Ei Sei = Yíng Zhèng ( 嬴政 )
2. King Sho = Ying Ji ( 嬴稷 )
3. Sei Kyou = Cheng Jiao 成蟜
4. Queen Mother (Bi Ki) = Queen Dowager Zhao ( 太后) ) Zhao Ji ( 趙姬 )

Qin Ministers & Nobles

1. Ryo Fui = Lü Buwei ( 呂不韋 )
2. Sai Taku = Cai Ze ( 蔡澤 )
3. Ri Shi = Li Si ( 李斯 )
4. Lord Shouhei = Lord Changping ( 昌平君 )
5. Lord Shoubun = Lord ChangWen) ( 昌文君 )
6. Tou = Neishi Teng ( 內史騰 ) (Neishi is a title, he isn't received it yet?)
7. Duke Hyou = Biao Gong ( 麃公 )
8. Rou Ai = Lao Ai ( 嫪毐 )
9. Chou Kou = Zhao Gao ( 趙高 )
10. Ho Kaku - Pu He

Qin Military

1. Mou Gou = Meng Ao ( 蒙驁 )
2. Mou Bu = Meng Wu ( 蒙武 )
3. Mou Ten = Meng Tian ( 蒙恬 )
4. Mou Ki = Meng Yi ( 蒙毅 )
5. Ou Sen = Wang Jian ( 王翦 )
6. Ou Hon = Wang Ben ( 王賁 )
7. Ou Ki = Wang Yi ( 王齮 )
8. Ou Kotsu = Wang He ( 王齕 )
9. Haku Ki = Bai Qi ( 白起 )
10. Kyou = Liao ( 摎 )
11. Shiba Saku = Sima Cuo ( 司马错 )
12. Ko Shou = Hu Yang ( 胡伤 )
13. Yo Tanwa = Yang Duanhe ( 楊端和 )
14. Kan Ki = Huan Yi ( 桓齮 )
15. Ri Shin = Li Xin ( 李信 )
16. Kyou Kai = Qiang Lei / Qiang Hui ( 羌瘣 )
17. Han Oki = Fan Yuqi ( 樊於期 )
18. Chou Tou = Zhang Tang ( 张唐 )

Zhao Royalty

1. Tou Jou = King Daoxiang of Zhao ( 趙悼襄王 ) / Zhào Yǎn ( 趙偃 )
2. King Yuuboku (Sen) = King Youmiu of Zhao ( 趙幽繆王 ) / Zhào Qiān ( 趙遷 )
3. Prince Ka = Jia, King of Zhao ( 赵王嘉 ) / Zhào Jiā ( 趙嘉 )
4. Chou Sha = Zhào She ( 趙奢 )
5. Chou Katsu = Zhào Kuo ( 趙括 )
6. Chou Haku = Zhào Cong (趙蔥 )
7. Chou Sou = Zhào Zhuang ( 赵庄 )

Zhao Ministers & Nobles

1. Ri Boku = Li Mu (李牧;)
2. Kaku Kai = Guo Kai ( 郭開 )
3. You Ka = Yao Jia ( 姚贾 )
4. Lord Shunpei = Lord Chunping ( 春平君 )
5. Rin Shoujo = Lin Xiangru ( 藺相如 )

Zhao Military

1. Ren Pa = Lian Po ( 廉頗 )
2. Hou Ken = Pang Nuan ( 龐煖 )
3. Ko Chou = Hu Zhe ( 扈辄 )
4. Gaku Jou = Yue Sheng ( 乐乘 )
5. Fu Tei = Fu Di ( 傅抵 )
6. Shou Mou = She Meng ( 涉孟 )
7. Fuu Ki = Feng Ji ( 冯忌 )
8. Gi Ka = Wei Jia ( 魏加 )
9. Kei Sha = Qing She ( 庆舍 )

Chu Royalty

1. Kou Retsu = King Kaolie of Chu ( 楚考烈王 ) / Born Xiang Yuan ( 熊元 ) or Xiong Wan ( 熊完 )
2. Kou En = Xiang Yan ( 項燕 )
3. Ri En = Li Yuan ( 李园 )
4. Lord Shunshin = Lord Chunshen ( 春申君 ) / Born Huang Xie ( 黃歇 )

Chu Military

1. Kan Mei = Han Ming ( 汗明 )
2. Lord Rinbu = Lord Linwu ( 臨武君 ) historically more important then Kan Mei

Wei Royalty

1

WANRING! THIS POST IS EXTREMELY LENGTHY, PLEASE IGNORE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY INTEREST IN THIS CONCEPT!

Hello all, I know this idea has been suggested in the past by other users, but the potential I see in something like this is far too strong for me to just pass up and not speak on.

We all know the history of the Three Kingdoms period of China, whether it be from the famous novel, or various games. That said, however, I don't believe we've seen anything that can offer the grueling and immersive experience that something like For Honor could bring to the table when it comes to very popular historical period. With that said, I'd like to offer my own idea for what a new game could be like IF the theme were to be taken.

Story: The story would obviously be set during the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, likely ending around the middle point of the Three Kingdoms period. The beginning phases could act as an introductory point, starting the player off within the Yellow Turban Rebellion, this time whoever, opting to showcase the side of the Imperial army, rather than showcasing the beginning phases of the Three famed warlords that other titles prioritize.

Here we would begin the story utilizing the equivalent of For Honors Warden, the Zhànshì, wielding a great dao. The Imperial Zhànshì would be serving under the infamous tyrant, Dong Dong Zhuo. Zhuo would be leading his forces to eliminate Zhang Jue. Like in history, the battle would be a minor victory, with the end result of Zhang Jue having fled, but the Imperial Zhànshì would see their first true experience of "savagery and hate" through the Yellow Turbans, but, after a fierce encounter with a Yellow Turban Zhànshì, where the Yellow Turban would scold the Imperial for supporting a government full of corruption and explaining the horrors and unnecessary death caused by the failing empire, the Imperial would find himself conflicted, beginning to second guess the Han before killing the Yellow Turban. The Imperial would then see one of the peasant Yellow Turban fighters, begging to be spared, only to have their throat slit by Dong Zhuo, with the Imperial gazing in slight disgust.

From then, we would zoom in on the Imperial only to zoom out shortly there after, showing a transition from the rebellion to the (likely fictional) battle of Hulao Pass. This fight would be harder than the first for players, but only to a slight degree. Here we would see Lü Bu battling among the Imperial army, only to witness h